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Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
a tragedy? what is this woman talking about???  
link to AOL article
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Posted 2/22/06 8:59 PM  |
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JennChris
life moves fast
Member since 5/05 4225 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
 A tragedy.. that educated women choose to stay home with their children! W T F?? They no longer work full time??? Being a SAHM is not a full time job??  She's an idiot
Message edited 2/22/2006 9:03:20 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/06 9:02 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
I totally don't agree
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| Posted 2/22/06 9:06 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
My mom works at a college and several of her colleagues have said to her "All that education wasted. What a shame." because I hold a master's degree. My degrees were personal achievements and don't define me any more as a person than my hair or skin color do.
So aggrivating that people assume just because you stay at home you can't stimulate your mind. I am able to read up on a variety of topics now, when I was working full time I pretty much only had time to read industry publications.
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| Posted 2/22/06 9:20 PM |
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mommy2Alex
3 babies for me :)
Member since 5/05 6683 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by JennChris
A tragedy.. that educated women choose to stay home with their children! W T F?? They no longer work full time??? Being a SAHM is not a full time job?? She's an idiot
Agreed!
I might get flamed for this but I really believe in family and I think Feminism really broke down the American Family. I am sorry but I don't think it is acceptable to be unmarried, have 4 kids with 3 different men. 50 years ago things may have been too conservative, but I feel like today people have no respect for themselves. All these cheesy talk shows promoting trashiness is sad. As a country sometimes I think we are a joke. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Feminism and that women should have the choice to do whatever makes them happy. If they don't want to give up their career they shouldn't have to. However, I am glad to know that more and more women are choosing to stay home with their children. I say to my DH all the time I amazed at the amount of women who are choosing to be SAHMs. 25 years ago I think the numbers would have been very different.
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| Posted 2/22/06 10:14 PM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
What a dope!
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| Posted 2/22/06 10:40 PM |
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KPtoys
I'm getting old
Member since 5/05 8688 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by JennChris
A tragedy.. that educated women choose to stay home with their children! W T F?? They no longer work full time??? Being a SAHM is not a full time job?? She's an idiot
YES!! what she said!
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| Posted 2/22/06 10:46 PM |
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CunningOne
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Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Wow, I am shocked  I'm one of those educated women who chose to stay home, I have a Masters Degree and I am also licensed and registered to practice engineering. I personally don't see it as a tragedy. I think whether you chose to work or stay home, it has to be in the best interest of your kids. There is nothing wrong with either. That woman was so one-sided.
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| Posted 2/22/06 10:56 PM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
It makes me laugh. I don't understand why women can't just get along. I believe that a happy mom = a happy baby. For some people that means staying home for others that means working.
I think having my degree is a huge plus. If something happened to Dh. I could easily find a high paying job in my field if I needed to work.
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| Posted 2/22/06 11:04 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
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Stefanie
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
I have my masters in literacy...yeah it's such a tragedy that I'm staying home for the most important times of my child's life...
Morons.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:01 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
I am glad to know that more and more women are choosing to stay home with their children.
Why are you happy about that? I am not happy or sad ...either decision is fine by me.
I think being a SAHM is great. I think being a working mom is great.
I totally don't understand why ALL women can't support one another and be a real community. it is always an "us" vs. "them"..like Junior High NEVER ends.
I never hear men bitching to each other about this kind of stuff. I mean we know a few SAHD (dads) and I have never heard one person say anything about it, even in private. It is a family decision, not hurting anyone and if it makes them happy so be it.
Education is NEVER wasted!! You use it every single day of your life whether you are with your child at home or at a job. I will say it drives me nuts when I hear 19 year old Ivy League co-eds saying that they are in college to met a rich husband or something like that...there was a big article on that a few months ago.
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| Posted 2/23/06 8:53 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by -Laurie-
It makes me laugh. I don't understand why women can't just get along. I believe that a happy mom = a happy baby. For some people that means staying home for others that means working.
I couldn't agree more! It's all a personal choice and what fits best with your personality and financial needs. I have an ex who always said that women could rule the world... if only they could get along!  It's so true!
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| Posted 2/23/06 8:53 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by -Laurie-
It makes me laugh. I don't understand why women can't just get along. I believe that a happy mom = a happy baby. For some people that means staying home for others that means working.
I couldn't have said it better.
Considering how "educated" this woman is, she is sounding pretty ignorant in that article.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:28 AM |
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by mommy2Alex
Agreed!
I might get flamed for this but I really believe in family and I think Feminism really broke down the American Family. I am sorry but I don't think it is acceptable to be unmarried, have 4 kids with 3 different men. 50 years ago things may have been too conservative, but I feel like today people have no respect for themselves. All these cheesy talk shows promoting trashiness is sad. As a country sometimes I think we are a joke. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Feminism and that women should have the choice to do whatever makes them happy. If they don't want to give up their career they shouldn't have to. However, I am glad to know that more and more women are choosing to stay home with their children. I say to my DH all the time I amazed at the amount of women who are choosing to be SAHMs. 25 years ago I think the numbers would have been very different.
I don't think feminism has necessarily ruined the American family; a woman who has 4 kids with three different men is hardly a "feminist" IMO. I think a woman can be a feminist regardless of her choice to stay at home or not.
It's also ironic to me how the times have changed, economically. My mom stayed at home, my dad had a decent job. We weren't well off but had enough for the mortgage and bills, etc. Now, 25 years later, DH and I are much more educated than my parents, make better salaries (considering inflation) and yet if I were to stay home, we could not afford the mortgage. And it's not like we were extravagant- we live in a very modest house.
I would look at economic changes, especially more in the metro area, than feminism. Lots more women might love to stay home but won't be able to.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:33 AM |
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Eleanor
LIF Adult
Member since 2/06 2223 total posts
Name:
Ellie
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Isn't it great that some woman have that choice? I agree with Laurie, why ***** about other people; just support them, everyone has different callings at different times.
I wonder if that author's mom worked?
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:42 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by mommy2Alex
Posted by JennChris
A tragedy.. that educated women choose to stay home with their children! W T F?? They no longer work full time??? Being a SAHM is not a full time job?? She's an idiot
Agreed!
I might get flamed for this but I really believe in family and I think Feminism really broke down the American Family. I am sorry but I don't think it is acceptable to be unmarried, have 4 kids with 3 different men. 50 years ago things may have been too conservative, but I feel like today people have no respect for themselves. All these cheesy talk shows promoting trashiness is sad. As a country sometimes I think we are a joke. Don't get me wrong, I believe in Feminism and that women should have the choice to do whatever makes them happy. If they don't want to give up their career they shouldn't have to. However, I am glad to know that more and more women are choosing to stay home with their children. I say to my DH all the time I amazed at the amount of women who are choosing to be SAHMs. 25 years ago I think the numbers would have been very different.
I agree with you. I understand that some women have to work, myself included. However, I held off having children until I had a situation where A) I could work from home P/T and B) My DH and I were on the same page with it. IMO the feminist movement was all about CHOICE. Having the choice to stay home or work outside of the home. I have actually had other women tell me I was "crazy" and an "idiot" for wanting to be home with my child. I can't stand it when feminists say they are all about "choice" but the minute you disagree with them on being a SAHM, abortion, or any other topic they flame you. I thought they wanted women to have choices? I guess they do as long as your choice aligns with their agenda.
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| Posted 2/23/06 10:13 AM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Stefanie
I have my masters in literacy...yeah it's such a tragedy that I'm staying home for the most important times of my child's life...
Morons.
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying that working moms are missing "the most important times" of their childrens' lives? How about working moms are generating incomes that can be used to send their children to college so they are not burdened with student loans afterwards? How about some women have no choice but to work in order to put a roof over their heads or feed them.
As a working mom, I find many of these posts offensive and are exactly the reason people roll their eyes when SAHMs start to speak.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:10 PM |
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Emily77
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 131 total posts
Name:
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by Stefanie
I have my masters in literacy...yeah it's such a tragedy that I'm staying home for the most important times of my child's life...
Morons.
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying that working moms are missing "the most important times" of their childrens' lives? How about working moms are generating incomes that can be used to send their children to college so they are not burdened with student loans afterwards? How about some women have no choice but to work in order to put a roof over their heads or feed them.
As a working mom, I find many of these posts offensive and are exactly the reason people roll their eyes when SAHMs start to speak.
I agree that some of these statements are a bit offensive. Some of us have no choice. I feel very lucky to be able to work part-time right now, but that might not always be the case.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:27 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by Stefanie
I have my masters in literacy...yeah it's such a tragedy that I'm staying home for the most important times of my child's life...
Morons.
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying that working moms are missing "the most important times" of their childrens' lives? How about working moms are generating incomes that can be used to send their children to college so they are not burdened with student loans afterwards? How about some women have no choice but to work in order to put a roof over their heads or feed them.
As a working mom, I find many of these posts offensive and are exactly the reason people roll their eyes when SAHMs start to speak.
Easy there... I'm also a working mom and I did not take Stefanie's comment that way at all. She's just stating one of the reasons why she chose to stay home. She made no insinuation that working moms are missing those moments.
In the end, there are pros and cons to both being a SAHM and a working mom and each woman has to make the choice that is right for her and her family. I think most women on this board understand and agree with that. It just so happens that in the article being discussed in this thread, it is the SAHMs that are under attack, so they are defending that. It doesn't mean that us working moms should be taking it personally.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:28 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Pumpkin1
Posted by Stefanie
I have my masters in literacy...yeah it's such a tragedy that I'm staying home for the most important times of my child's life...
Morons.
I don't understand this statement. Are you saying that working moms are missing "the most important times" of their childrens' lives? How about working moms are generating incomes that can be used to send their children to college so they are not burdened with student loans afterwards? How about some women have no choice but to work in order to put a roof over their heads or feed them.
As a working mom, I find many of these posts offensive and are exactly the reason people roll their eyes when SAHMs start to speak.
Whoa! See? This is EXACTLY the problem. Stefanie wasn't making any kind of attack on working moms. It's so sad that women become so defensive about their choice to be a working vs. SAHM. In a way, it's understandable, because no matter what your choice, SAHM or working mom, you make a sacrifice, and it can be a harsh reality when that sacrifice is pointed out. What it all boils down to, IMO, is that the sad reality for women is that we have to make a sacrifice either way - as a working mom and as a SAHM. As a working mom, there's no getting around the fact that we do not spend as much time with our children and yes, we do miss some important moments. Case in point - my daughter rolled for the first time in daycare  And, as a SAHM, I would imagine that the sacrifice is that you don't have the opportunity to pursue your own, individual career. What it comes down to is that we are all in the same boat - no matter what our decision, we all are making a sacrifice. What would be inspirational is for women to recognize that and give each other the mutual respect and support we deserve for making that individual choice and that individual sacrifice, no matter what side of the fence it lies on.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:32 PM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Well said, Beth.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:38 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Bxgell2
Whoa! See? This is EXACTLY the problem. Stefanie wasn't making any kind of attack on working moms. It's so sad that women become so defensive about their choice to be a working vs. SAHM. In a way, it's understandable, because no matter what your choice, SAHM or working mom, you make a sacrifice, and it can be a harsh reality when that sacrifice is pointed out. What it all boils down to, IMO, is that the sad reality for women is that we have to make a sacrifice either way - as a working mom and as a SAHM. As a working mom, there's no getting around the fact that we do not spend as much time with our children and yes, we do miss some important moments. Case in point - my daughter rolled for the first time in daycare And, as a SAHM, I would imagine that the sacrifice is that you don't have the opportunity to pursue your own, individual career. What it comes down to is that we are all in the same boat - no matter what our decision, we all are making a sacrifice. What would be inspirational is for women to recognize that and give each other the mutual respect and support we deserve for making that individual choice and that individual sacrifice, no matter what side of the fence it lies on.
Couldn't agree with you more!
That being said...Stephanie, as a working mom, I'd like you to step outside for a cat fight...
Message edited 2/23/2006 1:46:22 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:46 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
I understand that everyone makes a sacrifice. I personally feel that many SAHMs are very judgmental and condescending to working moms and which, in turn, makes working moms feel like they are neglecting or abusing their children, guilty and inadequate.
SAHM are always saying that their work is not recognized, but many working moms are doing all of that and working full time as well. I'm tired of hearing "I couldn't clean the house, I have a full time job taking care of my child," but they can tell you exactly what happened on Oprah yesterday.
I am sorry, I realize that my statements here are far more offensive than anything else posted here, but it is something that I've needed to get off my chest for a while.
Edited to say: This was harsh, and I apologize. But, I only changed one word because, unfortunately, this is how I feel for the most part.
Message edited 2/23/2006 1:53:15 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:47 PM |
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Emily77
LIF Infant
Member since 5/05 131 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Pumpkin1
I understand that everyone makes a sacrifice. I personally feel that many SAHMs are very judgmental and condescending to working moms and which, in turn, makes working moms feel like they are neglecting or abusing their children, guilty and inadequate.
SAHM are always whining that their work is not recognized, but many working moms are doing all of that and working full time as well. I'm tired of hearing "I couldn't clean the house, I have a full time job taking care of my child," but they can tell you exactly what happened on Oprah yesterday.
I am sorry, I realize that my statements here are far more offensive than anything else posted here, but it is something that I've needed to get off my chest for a while.
I agree that I sometimes feel inqdequate around SAHMs -- BUT I 100% value what they do and feel that my days at home (I work part-time as I mentioned) are more challenging (and I have a pretty challenging job). It's one this to say that yo often feel judged, etc., but I don't think it's fair or nice to belittle what SAHMs do every day.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:50 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Article - SAHM's "A Tragedy"
Posted by Pumpkin1
I understand that everyone makes a sacrifice. I personally feel that many SAHMs are very judgmental and condescending to working moms and which, in turn, makes working moms feel like they are neglecting or abusing their children, guilty and inadequate.
SAHM are always whining that their work is not recognized, but many working moms are doing all of that and working full time as well. I'm tired of hearing "I couldn't clean the house, I have a full time job taking care of my child," but they can tell you exactly what happened on Oprah yesterday.
I am sorry, I realize that my statements here are far more offensive than anything else posted here, but it is something that I've needed to get off my chest for a while.
Actually as a working mom, I find them offensive. I think each of us wants a little piece of what the other gets from their role. SAHMs crave adult interaction and breaks you get during the day at work just as much as the need to see your child roll over for the first time will crush a Working mom. In the end, we all do what we have need to for us and for our families.
No SAHM has ever made me feel like I'm neglecting my children. My children will always be the most important people in my life. Remember I'm the mom that will bring them to daycare on my day off so I can get things done for ME (and this includes taking pictures of OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN). It's because it's something I can enjoy -the ONLY thing I do for myself. If we all didn't have "me" time (just like SAHMs who watch Oprah), than all of our children would be worse off for having the overworked, tired SAHM mom or Working Mom who needs a break.
Posted by Pumpkin1
Edited to say: This was harsh, and I apologize. But, I only changed one word because, unfortunately, this is how I feel for the most part.
And I forgive you for having a stressed moment. Sounds like you need a night out...let me know when.
Message edited 2/23/2006 1:58:18 PM.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:56 PM |
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