Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Do your parents/inlaws not have enough money for monthly expenses?

Just wondering if I am in this boat alone?

When they need something are you called?

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Not financially, although I would be more then happy to if either my parents or inlaws needed something. I wish they would call when they needed some help with something. I am more then happy to help as much as I can or that I am needed. This goes for all my family, not just parents and inlaws.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Thankfully neither set of parents has needed help from us financially, though we would always help out if that was necessary.

My parents are divorced, so I help my mom whenever she needs someone to pick her up from the doctor/hospital visits, etc. Luckily that isn't often (of course I wouldn't mind, but luckily she's in good health!). And she helps me out so much I am always glad to help out in any way. Last week I went over to meet her for dinner one night, and she had cooked a turkey for me and DH to send home with me because we had a really busy week this week. I would do absolutely anything for my mother.

My MIL is the same way with DH, though his parents are still together. She'll call him for a ride home from the dentist, or if her car needs repair.

I would help out anyone in my family who needed help. Except for DH's brother, who asked DH to give him a downpayment for a new car when the brother doesn't have a job. I wouldn't put our financial stability in question because of him.

Message edited 1/12/2006 1:52:40 PM.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Message edited 1/12/2006 1:43:11 PM.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Not financially yet but my Dad is handicapped from a stroke. He can't live alone (lives with my brother), drive or make himself a meal. He depends upon us for everything. I am his power of attorney, pay his bills, take him to appts, shop for his clothes, you name it! This is the way life has been since I was 27.

It's a lot in and of itself but I also work 60 hours a week am redoing a house and TTC at the same time. But it is what it is and I take every day one day at a time.

ETA: I gladly do everything for my Dad. He was a single parent, worked a lot of overtime and penny pinched and juggled himself to give me a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my stomach and a great education... oh, and, Dad, thanks for the braces too!

He did for me, I do for him. I'm just glad he's still here.

Message edited 1/12/2006 1:46:32 PM.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Both sets of parents are pretty well set financially. If they need help with anything, we're more than happy to pitch in & do whatever they wanted.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

thanks for the replies. I am surprised it is only 2. I thought it would be more common.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

We don't have to support her financially, but she can't drive, doesn't speak good English and can't even mail a letter on her own...

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

We have to help support my mom. It's really a big strain...

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

You have FM.

I have no problem lending my mom or FMIL money in an emergency.

I would not support either one for their own expenses, bills, etc. (Since they are both healthy and capable of doing it themselves.)

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

We don't support them financially at all.

But since my dad passed away, my DH and my BIL do all the "man around the house" stuff that my mom won't, like changing lightbulbs, fixing stuff, etc...

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Message edited 1/12/2006 2:45:58 PM.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

thanks, totally understand Rebecca. My MIL is young and capable, FIL is sick. Big difference in my mood when the phone rings for cash.

jenn-you are a wonderful daughter. Has she been feeling better?

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Since we're not too well off financially ourselves, I know we wouldn't be the first people they'd ask for help, not that they need help right now anyway. They know that we'd help in any other way possible though.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

DH sometimes lends his mom $ when her alimony check doesn't come in on time (I think FIL likes to hold onto his money until the last minute). She has always paid him back. My parents and FIL are in a much better financial position than us so we definitely don't help them out.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

I helped out an immediate family member for years. It is only recently that I stopped; it was too much strain on me. It caused me a lot of bitterness but I felt for years I had to do this due to guilt. Not that any issue was caused by me, but I knew I would feel awful if anything happened to this person and I "could've" helped. I only learned recently that it wasn't my fault if something did.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

I don't, b/c they don't need it, they still help us out fiancially, even though we don't ask for it & aren't destitute. ( they aren't paying our rent or anyhting, but they like to give big gifts )

My parents & ILs help out their parents & I can totolly see doing that when my father retires.

I wouldn't mind doing what I could, but it might bother me if my brother wasn't also doing what he could.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

No...my parents have been saving $$$ since day one. They own their own business and they know that it is up to them to plan for retirement since they won't receive a pension.
They have over the years set up their finances for the future, made out and revise their wills every year...and they made their funeral plans.....so that my sister and I won't have to be concerned with all the little details when the time comes. My parents aren't even retired...hell they aren't even 50 yet. But since they had to financially take care of my father's parents, and knew the burden it caused...they didn't want me and my sister to have to deal with anything like that.

My MIL...although not as prepared....is still prepared. She has saved $$ for funeral expenses and she has always put $$ away in a 401k for her retirement.

Our parents understand that DH and I plan on putting our children 1st...and we plan on helping out child (children) with college, wedding...ect...expenses before we pay for parents expenses. This does not mean that we won't be there for our parents to help with Dr's and filling out confusing paperwork...we absolutly will be there physically and emotionally....but our hard earned $$$ goes to our child (children) and our own retirement.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Posted by Janice

Posted by Boobobunny

Our parents understand that DH and I plan on putting our children 1st...and we plan on helping out child (children) with college, wedding...ect...expenses before we pay for parents expenses. This does not mean that we won't be there for our parents to help with Dr's and filling out confusing paperwork...we absolutly will be there physically and emotionally....but our hard earned $$$ goes to our child (children) and our own retirement.

I need that memo to reach family members.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

good for you. I say it, but they still ask. I feel like such a Scrooge by saying no, but enough is enough. I am not mad that you can't help me, but Geezz...help yourself and get my number off your speed dial

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Yes we help support my mother and she is totally ungrateful and I completely want to cut her off.

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

My Mil used to ask us every once in a while

But it has been a year or two. My FIl and my parents no nothing from us

Re: Do you have to help support Parents/Inlaws?

Our parents do not need our financial support...if anything, we need theirs!