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This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

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peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I'd like input from everyone, from couples who are TTC, from couples who are not TTC, from couples who are parents now.

How do you plan to balance raising a family and having a career or how are you balancing everything now?

I want to have kids, but I enjoy my career too. The perfect balance would be to work part-time, but I don't think I can do that with the position I am in now.

But I also don't want to work full time and send my child to daycare 5 days a week?

Plus, a big part for our situation is my husband is self-employed, so we use my health benefits which are very good.

So, how do you do it all? HOw are you balancing everything? For those of you who have kids what did you learn and how did you do it and what did you end up giving up if anything?

edited for my bad spelling

Message edited 1/11/2006 8:46:39 PM.

Posted 1/11/06 8:34 PM
 
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

ahhhhhhh tara..i have been there.
This was a HUGE concern of mine.
I talked with my mom about it and she wants to watch my child for about 3 days out of the work week. And the other two i will have to use daycare.

There is no other solution for us at this point

Posted 1/11/06 8:37 PM
 

peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by Redhead

ahhhhhhh tara..i have been there.
This was a HUGE concern of mine.
I talked with my mom about it and she wants to watch my child for about 3 days out of the work week. And the other two i will have to use daycare.

There is no other solution for us at this point





That's awesome that you trust your mom and she wants to do this.

Message edited 1/11/2006 8:42:25 PM.

Posted 1/11/06 8:40 PM
 

Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

honestly that is the only person i trust my child with.
Without her i would be back to square one...
what about Phils parents?
Or do you know anyone who does daycare?

Posted 1/11/06 8:41 PM
 

hazeleyes33
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

13060 total posts

Name:
Ginger

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by peabody

I'd like input from everyone, from couples who are TTC, from couples who are not TTC, from couples who are parents now.

How do you plan to balance raising a family and having a career or how are you balancing everything now?

I want to have kids, but I enjoy my career too. The perfect balance would be to work part-time, but I don't think I can do that with the position I am in now.

But I also don't want to work full time and send my child to daycare 5 days a week?

Plus, a big part for our situation is my husband is self-employed, so we use my health benefits which are very good.

So, how do you do it all? HOw balancing everything? For this you who have kids what did you learn and how did you do it and what did you end up giving up if anything?



I have 2 kids and work fulltime. It is hard but we now have a routine and I know what needs to be done, when. Both of my kids were and are in daycare 5 days a week and I have never had a problem. They have and had GREAT teachers and they love going everyday. I don't have any other family to watch my children except for my sister for school holidays so I am very lucky I have found such a great place that I feel comfortable leaving them and going to work.
I am not going to say it is easy, because it is not, but I have to work and this is working for us.
Good Luck!

Posted 1/11/06 8:43 PM
 

peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by Redhead

honestly that is the only person i trust my child with.
Without her i would be back to square one...
what about Phils parents?
Or do you know anyone who does daycare?



We haven't approached Phil's Mom yet, but I think she would do one day or two days a week, but that is it.

I haven't even started looking into daycare, I mean honestly we not TTC yet, but for some reason I have been stressing about it and thinking about it. Last night, I was up from 11 pm to 2 am thinking about this, actually I felt like my mind was racing. I was really anxious.

Posted 1/11/06 8:45 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

Member since 5/05

34581 total posts

Name:
Donna

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I will work part time in the beginning. We will decide how that works out and move on from there. I could not stay at home 100% percent of the time, I would lose my mind, but I also dont want to be a full tiem working mom. BUT I dont have kids yet so we are more or less seeing how it goes once we do and will make deicisions from there.

I would need to work P/t as we probably cant afford for me to stay home all the time, but I would always want to do something once my kids were school aged.

My BF is a SAHM to 3 kids and she is always depressed she has nothing for her, and wishes she would have worked P/T. She hasnt worked in 8 years and now she doesnt know what she could do. Once you stop working, your choices when going back are limited.

Its a HARD decision to make, the balance, but I think once it happens , it works itself out as you adjust to a new family life...

Posted 1/11/06 8:49 PM
 

Charly
LOVE!

Member since 5/05

12578 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

We are currently TTC and I feel the same way as you...part time would be perfect!! Unfortunately I don't think my company would let me do that either. I don't have any family where I live and I couldn't afford not to work...so my decision was made for me....child care. It's definitely NOT our preference, but we want a child so it's a sacrafice we will have to make.

Message edited 1/11/2006 8:49:46 PM.

Posted 1/11/06 8:49 PM
 

peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by peabody

I'd like input from everyone, from couples who are TTC, from couples who are not TTC, from couples who are parents now.

How do you plan to balance raising a family and having a career or how are you balancing everything now?

I want to have kids, but I enjoy my career too. The perfect balance would be to work part-time, but I don't think I can do that with the position I am in now.

But I also don't want to work full time and send my child to daycare 5 days a week?

Plus, a big part for our situation is my husband is self-employed, so we use my health benefits which are very good.

So, how do you do it all? HOw balancing everything? For this you who have kids what did you learn and how did you do it and what did you end up giving up if anything?



I have 2 kids and work fulltime. It is hard but we now have a routine and I know what needs to be done, when. Both of my kids were and are in daycare 5 days a week and I have never had a problem. They have and had GREAT teachers and they love going everyday. I don't have any other family to watch my children except for my sister for school holidays so I am very lucky I have found such a great place that I feel comfortable leaving them and going to work.
I am not going to say it is easy, because it is not, but I have to work and this is working for us.
Good Luck!



Did you work full time right after they were born too?

I don't know, because I am not in the situation, and of course my feelings couls change, but I wouldn't mind working full-time when they are in school. I think it's those first couple of years that I don't want to work full- time. Know what I mean?

Posted 1/11/06 8:50 PM
 

Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by peabody

Posted by Redhead

honestly that is the only person i trust my child with.
Without her i would be back to square one...
what about Phils parents?
Or do you know anyone who does daycare?



We haven't approached Phil's Mom yet, but I think she would do one day or two days a week, but that is it.

I haven't even started looking into daycare, I mean honestly we not TTC yet, but for some reason I have been stressing about it and thinking about it. Last night, I was up from 11 pm to 2 am thinking about this, actually I felt like my mind was racing. I was really anxious.



YUP! i was the same way...
Wanted to cover all bases before taking the leap into TTC.

I am such a planner...

do you think you can do 3 days day care?

Posted 1/11/06 8:50 PM
 

peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by Redhead

Posted by peabody

Posted by Redhead

honestly that is the only person i trust my child with.
Without her i would be back to square one...
what about Phils parents?
Or do you know anyone who does daycare?



We haven't approached Phil's Mom yet, but I think she would do one day or two days a week, but that is it.

I haven't even started looking into daycare, I mean honestly we not TTC yet, but for some reason I have been stressing about it and thinking about it. Last night, I was up from 11 pm to 2 am thinking about this, actually I felt like my mind was racing. I was really anxious.



YUP! i was the same way...
Wanted to cover all bases before taking the leap into TTC.

I am such a planner...

do you think you can do 3 days day care?



See I don't know if I want that either. I don't want to miss things either. Know what I mean?

Message edited 1/11/2006 8:56:12 PM.

Posted 1/11/06 8:55 PM
 

Redhead
You Live, You Learn

Member since 5/05

31871 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

yea i do...
But for me...i have no choice.

Posted 1/11/06 8:56 PM
 

Tany
Becoming a different woman

Member since 5/05

24460 total posts

Name:
Tania

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

when we found we were pregnant, we definitely were nowhere prepared financially or emotionally, me at least.
so a few months before she was born, we agreed that I would stay with her for at least a year. that's what we did, it was very hard money wise living with one income and unfortunately once she was a little bit older after being with her for a year, I had to go back to work.
at first my grandma took care of her but then she is older and sick so we had to find someone else.
We are very happy with her babysitter, who also takes care of two other little girls in her home and who my mom knew before.
that worried me for days, becvuse I wanted to be completely comfortable but most importantly that my little one was as well.
I work from 6 to 2 pm, so it works great in that sense.
I think that once you get to that point, things will eventually come into place, is not easy the ideal would have been to be with her until she started school but life is not easy so you do what you need to do.

Posted 1/11/06 8:59 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I don't know what we are going to do now. Initially I felt comfortable with our planned arrangement- DH is a college professor and had a great schedule- 3 days a week on campus, and then he worked on research at home. It would have been good because he would have been a p/t SAHD. I have better benefits anyway.

But he didn't get tenure and it is more likely that he will end up back in the private sector. I doubt we will have enough $$ with one salary, even though the private sector will pay more, for me to be home full time and I don't think there are p/t jobs with the Department of Ed. Even if I got something up here, it would be full time. Our kid(s) will be in day care full time. We don't have any family up here.

If I wasn't 34 already, we could wait but I don't want to do that either. It's the proverbial rock and a hard place.

Message edited 1/11/2006 9:09:24 PM.

Posted 1/11/06 9:08 PM
 

Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn

Member since 5/05

27567 total posts

Name:
Janice

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

we are moving to NC, I am going to work up until the baby comes, then SAH. I don't see myself going back to work when the kids are in school either. I feel like that is the time to cook and clean, kids come home, do homework, go to sports, DH comes home and spend the night with him, then go to bed.

I think if I worked, I know for me personally, there would not be enough hours in the day for what I want to do with my family and for my family. We would not be able to do this though unless we moved.

Posted 1/11/06 9:17 PM
 

nov04libride
big brother <3

Member since 5/05

14672 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Tara,
I've thought a lot about this too. I don't know where we will be living whenever we do have kids, but the daycare where we work now is among the best on Long Island. After having seen it, I honestly don't know if there is a clear answer about what is better for children--having one on one with a SAHM, or having that early socialization. Someone in my office has his daughter in there and she was taught sign language before a year old! Since it is university run, it is well monitored and for infants I think it is 3 infants for each adult, which is a great ratio. I don't know what we'll do..I'd love to stay home for at least a few months...My job I could never do part time, but a situation like D has who works with you would be ideal.

Posted 1/11/06 9:40 PM
 

lvdolphins
My Loves!

Member since 5/05

46292 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I have been TTC also. There is a lot of thinking to do.
I think my "solution" would be, keep my PT night job and be home during the day with my child. If I have to work something like 4-8, I think my mother would be willing to take the baby until my dh gets home and can pick the baby up or my mother can come here until dh gets home, we'd have to work around her schedule.
My mother helps my sister out now and I know I can trust her. She also has a flexible schedule which helps out a lot.
Ive talked to dh about this, and I think this is what we may do. I would LOVE to stay home, but, don't think we'd "make" it.

Posted 1/11/06 10:29 PM
 

peabody
Love green icing!!!

Member since 5/05

4691 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by dm24angel

Its a HARD decision to make, the balance, but I think once it happens , it works itself out as you adjust to a new family life...



I hope you are right and I think deep down inside I know it, but I am such a worrier!!!

Posted 1/12/06 12:29 AM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I wish someone would tell me! Chat Icon Chat Icon No, really, I'm an attorney, and I have a new baby (4 months) and I'll tell you, it's the hardest thing in the world. There are days when I drop her off at daycare and drive to work and I start crying in my car and it takes every bit of strength not to turn around and go pick her up. But, I know myself, I'm not cut out to be a SAHM - I absolutely LOVE my career and I've worked so hard for it, but it's definitely not the "optimal" career choice for raising a family. Thankfully I work at a small firm with very flexible hours so most days I'm there only from 9-5pm and at least once a week I work from home. We searched and searched and searched to find a daycare that we would be comfortable with (we have no family in the area). Although it's hard leaving Alex, I know she's in good hands, and I'll tell you, there's nothing like working a productive day helping people, and then coming to daycare at 5pm to pick up my daughter and getting the most beautiful, big gummy grin! Chat Icon And when I come home, I spend about 4 very, very quality filled hours with Alex. I remember while I was on maternity leave taking care of her, most of the day I just felt like a caretaker and I was just so exhausted that I couldn't give her my all. But when I come home from work, I'm so excited to see her and I spend those 4 hours just doting on her. And, now I have so much to look forward to on the weekends and spend literally every waking moment with her... that's how I do it.

Posted 1/12/06 5:39 AM
 

hazeleyes33
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

13060 total posts

Name:
Ginger

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by peabody

Posted by hazeleyes33

Posted by peabody

I'd like input from everyone, from couples who are TTC, from couples who are not TTC, from couples who are parents now.

How do you plan to balance raising a family and having a career or how are you balancing everything now?

I want to have kids, but I enjoy my career too. The perfect balance would be to work part-time, but I don't think I can do that with the position I am in now.

But I also don't want to work full time and send my child to daycare 5 days a week?

Plus, a big part for our situation is my husband is self-employed, so we use my health benefits which are very good.

So, how do you do it all? HOw balancing everything? For this you who have kids what did you learn and how did you do it and what did you end up giving up if anything?



I have 2 kids and work fulltime. It is hard but we now have a routine and I know what needs to be done, when. Both of my kids were and are in daycare 5 days a week and I have never had a problem. They have and had GREAT teachers and they love going everyday. I don't have any other family to watch my children except for my sister for school holidays so I am very lucky I have found such a great place that I feel comfortable leaving them and going to work.
I am not going to say it is easy, because it is not, but I have to work and this is working for us.
Good Luck!



Did you work full time right after they were born too?

I don't know, because I am not in the situation, and of course my feelings couls change, but I wouldn't mind working full-time when they are in school. I think it's those first couple of years that I don't want to work full- time. Know what I mean?



I went back to work when they were 3 months old and I had no problems. I am very lucky though that I have a really good daycare and I personally have never had any problems with them. They have always cared for my children like they were one of their own.
I wish I could stay home but I can't financially and mentally I would have to find something pt because it is very taxing on yourself to just be with kids all day with no adult interaction and have my brain doing something else than kids things-lol!

Posted 1/12/06 8:04 AM
 

Marybeth222
My Girls!

Member since 5/05

2688 total posts

Name:
Marybeth

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by peabody

I'd like input from everyone, from couples who are TTC, from couples who are not TTC, from couples who are parents now.

How do you plan to balance raising a family and having a career or how are you balancing everything now?

I want to have kids, but I enjoy my career too. The perfect balance would be to work part-time, but I don't think I can do that with the position I am in now.

But I also don't want to work full time and send my child to daycare 5 days a week?

Plus, a big part for our situation is my husband is self-employed, so we use my health benefits which are very good.

So, how do you do it all? HOw are you balancing everything? For those of you who have kids what did you learn and how did you do it and what did you end up giving up if anything?

edited for my bad spelling



I work FT and have my daughter in day care 3 days a week. I am very fortunate to have the worlds greatest boss who allows me to have flexible hours. I work M - Th 7:00 - 3:30 and I work from home on Friday's. My husband watches my daughter on Monday's. I've gotten myself into a routine. I find that if you prepare yourself the night before with giving the kids bath, laying out your clothes and their clothes, the mornings run alot smoother.

I do most of the schleping around with my daughter. I take her to school and pick her up - it's on the way to work. There are days that my husband can do it but I'm so used to it and it's on the way to work, I just do it.

I am expecting my second child next month and I'm starting to panic that I'm not going to be able to do it all since I have to go back to work. I guess I'll manage.

We love the day care my daughter is in and believe me the last thing I wanted to do was send her to day care. We are more than pleased with where she is. She's very very happy there. Yes I'd love to be with her all the time but we don't have a choice so I've given up on beating myself over that. HTH.

Posted 1/12/06 8:05 AM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

Posted by Bxgell2

I wish someone would tell me! Chat Icon Chat Icon No, really, I'm an attorney, and I have a new baby (4 months) and I'll tell you, it's the hardest thing in the world. There are days when I drop her off at daycare and drive to work and I start crying in my car and it takes every bit of strength not to turn around and go pick her up. But, I know myself, I'm not cut out to be a SAHM - I absolutely LOVE my career and I've worked so hard for it, but it's definitely not the "optimal" career choice for raising a family. Thankfully I work at a small firm with very flexible hours so most days I'm there only from 9-5pm and at least once a week I work from home. We searched and searched and searched to find a daycare that we would be comfortable with (we have no family in the area). Although it's hard leaving Alex, I know she's in good hands, and I'll tell you, there's nothing like working a productive day helping people, and then coming to daycare at 5pm to pick up my daughter and getting the most beautiful, big gummy grin! Chat Icon And when I come home, I spend about 4 very, very quality filled hours with Alex. I remember while I was on maternity leave taking care of her, most of the day I just felt like a caretaker and I was just so exhausted that I couldn't give her my all. But when I come home from work, I'm so excited to see her and I spend those 4 hours just doting on her. And, now I have so much to look forward to on the weekends and spend literally every waking moment with her... that's how I do it.



I always feel better when I here from people who are making it work. Thank you for sharing!

Posted 1/12/06 8:14 AM
 

emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!

Member since 5/05

4457 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

you can definitely make it work, I have 3 kids, I work p/t at a Hospital and have my own private practice where I see 5 patients on Thurs evenings ( and at times do phone sessions if needed). My husband is self employed so my health benefits are very important, plus if he doesn't work he has no income!
I think part time is the perfect balance, I have plenty of time with the kids and plenty of time for my career. When the kids start wearing me down it's time to go back to work, and when the job starts stressing me, I have the next day off with the kids, it's great!
My mom or my hubby watch the kids when I work so it is perfect, I really wouldn't have it any other way, I just don't trust anyone out there with my kids.

Posted 1/12/06 8:51 AM
 

my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys

Member since 5/05

4381 total posts

Name:

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

It is the hardest thing to figure out and I don't think you can fully figure it out until you are in the situation.

I always said I would be able to balance both and would make it work and am finding it very, very difficult. I work a full-time job and part time is not an option in my career choice/level. I also work in the city and so does DH and our hours can be long and on top of it we have a long enough commute so day care is not an option for nor do we have family to babysit full time.

My work was very helpful in allowing me to work from home 2 days a week which has been great. But I have no one to watch the baby on those days and I am finding I can't work from home and babysit as he gets older and need to figure that out. But even with that - things have suffered. I have dealt with child care issues causing my professional life to suffer. I deal with the guilt of not giving my 100% to work or home or baby and not knowing what the right decision is to make.

I wish I had a career that was more family friendly but it is not the case. I have a few choices right now - SAHM or live in nanny (unles I found that job mystically that was pt and still felt rewarding to me). I am 100% ok with either idea so I have some hard decisions to make.

Posted 1/12/06 10:17 AM
 

QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!

Member since 5/05

13659 total posts

Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

um deb?

Posted 1/12/06 10:28 AM
 
Pages: [1] 2
 

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