Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I have to agree with everyone. ALthough everyone wants to have a big 1st party its not worth the stress. I honestly do not think we can afford a big party either. We have the same issues - if we inviite family and close friends it is about 60 people. Emily will be happy no matter what. I know from experience, a one year old usually sleeps during their day or end up cranky. A first B-Day party is for mommy and daddy. I hope you enjoy what ever you do.

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

in my experience, with my first we had a huge party 150 people or so. all of our family, friends, and everyone. it was very overwhelming for our poor son. and he reallly did not have much interest in opening more than like 4 gifts. the second baby we had about 60 people in our backyard and rented a tent and all that, very stressful, very messy house to clean, and only a couple of pics to remember it by. Spencer will be one in november and we plan on having grandparents, godparents, aunts and uncles, and maybe the closest of our friends (25 people tops) and i don't think Spencer will be disappointed. Having older kids i can tell you that once u have to invite their whole class to the party, it gets very expensive, but yet you do it because those are the parties they remember!

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

Posted by curley999

Dont buy into the whole big party thing if you cant afford it right now. It really is not necessary and Emily will have no idea what she missed. Honestly at any point in your life did you feel the need to know if you had a big 1st birthday party? would it matter? I say have a special day with her, and cake with your family and in a few years when things are better financially you can always put some extra $$$ in her account!..... Dont feel guilty at all!

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I don't think a big party is necessary at all. Actually we have made a vow to keep parties small and affordable - and at costs that are reasonable to us. We are going to have Julia's 1st birthday party at home with immediate family - have dinner and cake - and I know the future will hold many other celebrations - such as other birthdays, communions, confirmations, graduations etc...so there are going to be a ton of reasons to celebrate all over again. I wouldn't stress about it. Emily is going to have a great time. The most important thing is to take lots of great pictures for memories and have a great time with family and friends no matter where it is or who is there.

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I agree with everyone...don't stres about a party she won't even remember....a first birthday party is all about throwing a party for adults

Wait to really throw a big one until she is older...like 16

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I agree with everyone else - take what you can afford and give it to her as a bday present and let her make a mess out of the cake - that is all she needs!!

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I agree- its totally not necessary- and if you cant swing then dont drive yourself crazy about it!

But if you still wanna do something and are looking for ideas to cut costs...

What if you did it at you FIL's again... and just got some pizza's and made the cake yourself?

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

Thank you everyone for your replies. DH and I need to sit down and figure out what we are going to do. Today we were discussing the possibility of just having dinner and cake in the apartment -- immediate family. We don't have much room so it would be cramped -- but it would be within our budget and I definately think that the big parties would be more memorable for her. I do get sad though when I see my nieces having big parties and I know I can't give them to Emily. I wish I could give them what they give her, but I have to keep reminding myself that it is all material stuff and that Emily is loved, and encouraged, and doesn't feel as if she's missing anything at this point in her life.

I hope things get easier financialy -- so that by the time she can compare and knows hte difference we'll be able to give her those special things.

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I agree with everyone. Spending mega bucks on her 1st bday is just gonna cause more stress on you and your Dh. You dont need that. I dont see what the hype is about having huge parties that they will not even remember. I am not doing a big 1st bday for Jacob either, it will be dinner and cake with his grandparents and 2 uncles. Thats all I want. Even if i had the $$$ i wouldnt do it. He's not going to remember the dinner and cake let alone the hall with a DJ and clown and marching band..

My SIL (who i hate) threw huge first bdays for her kids and when i asked why would you do such a gala event inviting 150 people for a 1st bday?? she replied... "Well they're only 1 once!".... and my response.. "And they're only 2 once.. and 3 once... and 4 once..etc...

You have to do whats best for your family... i think what you are planning for her is great. Doesnt matter how much $$ you spend, the important thing is you are celebrating your beautiful baby girl's 1st year of life. That in itself is priceless. Good luck!

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I am sorry but that friend was VERY rude. No one should make you feel bad. Your guests are not invited to a party to set up a bank account for your child IMO- just like a wedding, they are there to share the day. Thrrow the party you can afford to throw. And don't feel bad about it at all! Your daughter has parents who love her, food, clothing, medicines and a roof over her head...all things many children will never have. You are a good provider and parent!

Re: 1st b-day party dilema...long

I agree with what was said already. Do what you can. She is luck to have parents who love her!