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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
so if you have sex...you are planning pregnancy...nope not buying that one
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Posted 3/8/06 9:45 PM  |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by Redhead
so if you have sex...you are planning pregnancy...nope not buying that one
i didn't say that
i said you may not be planning pregnancy, but you are not preventing it
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:47 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by mrswask
I agree - we don't know for a fact that he was tricked and really no way to prove it - unless there are pre-sex contracts - sounds nuts - but may be the only way
Let me add this scenario for a comparison though - we've all heard of this - or at least have seen it on TV - man or woman has HIV/AIDS - they know this - they sleep around and don't tell their partners - we know there have been cases where these people are then brought up on murder or attempted murder charges!!
So let's say - there was a way that we KNEW the woman deceived the man - isn't this in some way similar? How come she is not fully responsible then if she knowingly and intentionally set out to lie and deceive him for the purpose of having a baby, forcing a marriage, getting money...
It's a good comparative scenario...however while I agree that the person going around having sex while knowing they have HIV/AIDS should be brought up on charges, I also think the person who had unprotected sex with said "attempted-murderer", should take responsibility for their careless actions. Who the heck goes around having unprotected sex in this day and age?
(On a side note - I also have a problem with a person being charged with manslaughter if he hit a pregnant woman and the baby died. Situatons like that open up WAY TOO many doors too.)
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:48 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Redhead
so if you have sex...you are planning pregnancy...nope not buying that one
i didn't say that
i said you may not be planning pregnancy, but you are not preventing it
but aren't you attempting to prevent it?
You said there is no such thing as an unplanned PG and i just don't see that
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:50 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
I think unplanned and unwanted cause a dividing line here
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:52 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Redhead
so if you have sex...you are planning pregnancy...nope not buying that one
i didn't say that
i said you may not be planning pregnancy, but you are not preventing it
but aren't you attempting to prevent it?
You said there is no such thing as an unplanned PG and i just don't see that
my opening statement made the distinction
i said that i understood that there are cases where you could be fully protected and still get PG
i was mainly referring to the idiots who use nothing
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:52 PM |
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~Colleen~
my loves...
Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
Name:
guess
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by Karen
Posted by Colleen9304
Oh no, I'm definitely not saying that people should only have sex to procreate.  But one of the consequences of having sex is that you COULD get pregnant. Just like you could get a disease. I'm sure the guy who gets syphillis doesn't want it, is he not supposed to get treatment for it b/c he didn't want it? 
I'm just saying that people should take responsibility, whatever the consequences.
We don't know that he was tricked - we're only hearing his side...there are two others - hers and the truth
sorry, but I wouldn't compare contracting syphillis to having an unwanted child. A child is an 18 year financial contract - I don't think a case of syphillis ever lasted that long, or was that expensive!!
I wasn't comparing a child (or 18 year financial contract) to syphilis. I was saying that sometimes in life you have to take responsibility for your actions whether you wanted the consequences or not.
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:53 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
my opening statement made the distinction
i said that i understood that there are cases where you could be fully protected and still get PG
i was mainly referring to the idiots who use nothing
gotcha
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:54 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by Redhead
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
my opening statement made the distinction
i said that i understood that there are cases where you could be fully protected and still get PG
i was mainly referring to the idiots who use nothing
gotcha
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| Posted 3/8/06 9:55 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i said that i understood that there are cases where you could be fully protected and still get PG
i was mainly referring to the idiots who use nothing
Don, that's the real debate here. I think we realize that the ones who don't use protection - they're in it - they made a choice not to use protection. But what we're debating is the poor schmuck who used a condom (which was pinpricked) was told by the woman she was on the pill (when she wasn't) - why is it that he has no choice but to be, if nothing else, financially responsible for the next 18 years...
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| Posted 3/8/06 10:00 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
i have to say i truly enjoyed this discussion 
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| Posted 3/8/06 10:01 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by Redhead
i have to say i truly enjoyed this discussion
Me too - everyone said their piece, no one insulted each other personally...
good job, peeps!!
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| Posted 3/8/06 10:03 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by dooodles
I have never thought a man who does not want a child and tries to protect himself during intercourse should be held accountable. As said, accidents happen, men get tricked. This is a lifetime, lifechanging decision for both a man and a woman. If a woman decides she wants to continue a pregnancy that wasn't planned, why should the man be held accountable if he was not looking to become a father? Just because a woman decided that she wanted to be a mother? Where is that fair?
I agree
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| Posted 3/8/06 10:28 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Condoms break rarely....There would be VERY few of these circumstances if they were used.
I may be the minority but everytime you have sex you are taking at least a .01 chance of getting PG and everyone , man and women in the relationship have to understand that, or dont have sex. If you dont "get it" and do it anyway, I have no symapthy for you.
It alll leads into being a mature adult and not having sex unless you know the consequences if its a one time thing and if its a relationship , you have to know how the other feels if something happened...
I got pregnant when I was 24. I was in a 3 year relationship. We talked about marriage and kids. WE talked about what if something happened, and my boyfriend said we would "make it work" ...well yep.." It happened" and NO we were NOT being safe, so both of us KNEW it COULD happen. He knew my feelings about abortion, without a doubt....yet when the time came to face the music, he sang a different tune. HE wanted no part of being a father, or me any longer.
NOW...was I suppossed to feel BAD for him? And say oh thats ok....go ahead and leave?
I ended up having a M/C but you better believe had I had that baby he would be paying child support whether he liked it or not.
Because he was an adult, knew how I felt and was a participant in NOT protecting ourselves...
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| Posted 3/9/06 7:51 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
I emailed a guy the article, and heres what he had to say:
I think the article is right in assuming the courts will say tough noogies dude you gotta pay. I don’t know what to think about the right to choose for men heh. I think there are already too many ways to get out of raising a child though, and I don’t think adding a legal means to do so is necessarily fair to the child either. So I guess what I do think is: Sorry man, you do the crime you do the time.
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:29 AM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
I don't think an innocent child should suffer b/c the father decides he doesn't want a child and doesn't want to pay child support. When two consenting adults have sex, they should act like adults and take care of their responsibilities if the woman gets pregnant. I think the child's interests should come first even if that means forcing fathers to pay child support for children they don't want and never intended to have.
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:36 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Great. Let him win. And, then let Roe v. Wade (original version) get overturned.
Won't life be much better then?
IMO, only the pregnant person gets to choose what happens to the fetus. Whoever doesn't like that can make sure that s/he doesn't become pregnant (or impregnate someone else)
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:42 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
If you say, yes, to sex, you have to deal with the consequences, male or female. I think it is OUTRAGEOUS that he won't take responsibility. Ideally, before you have sex, you talk about what would happen "in case of an emergency" but either way, it takes two to tango and I think he is totally responsible for HIS child.
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:45 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by suvenR
Great. Let him win. And, then let Roe v. Wade (original version) get overturned.
Won't life be much better then?
IMO, only the pregnant person gets to choose what happens to the fetus. Whoever doesn't like that can make sure that s/he doesn't become pregnant (or impregnate someone else)
i'm not even going to dignify this
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:48 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by baghag
I emailed a guy the article, and heres what he had to say:
I think the article is right in assuming the courts will say tough noogies dude you gotta pay. I don’t know what to think about the right to choose for men heh. I think there are already too many ways to get out of raising a child though, and I don’t think adding a legal means to do so is necessarily fair to the child either. So I guess what I do think is: Sorry man, you do the crime you do the time.
I totally agree with your friend. He doesn't have to marry her or but he does have to take responsibility for his child!
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:52 AM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by suvenR
Great. Let him win. And, then let Roe v. Wade (original version) get overturned.
Won't life be much better then?
IMO, only the pregnant person gets to choose what happens to the fetus. Whoever doesn't like that can make sure that s/he doesn't become pregnant (or impregnate someone else)
i'm not even going to dignify this
Why? If you disagree, go for it!
IMO, it's not right to tell a pregnant woman that she must have a child. And, I don't think it's right to tell a woman that if she chooses to have a child, she will not receive financial support from it's father.
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| Posted 3/9/06 11:58 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by suvenR
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by suvenR
Great. Let him win. And, then let Roe v. Wade (original version) get overturned.
Won't life be much better then?
IMO, only the pregnant person gets to choose what happens to the fetus. Whoever doesn't like that can make sure that s/he doesn't become pregnant (or impregnate someone else)
i'm not even going to dignify this
Why? If you disagree, go for it!
IMO, it's not right to tell a pregnant woman that she must have a child. And, I don't think it's right to tell a woman that if she chooses to have a child, she will not receive financial support from it's father.
we could go back and forth all day and it's not going to do anything
If a discussion between both man and woman took place before she got PG about what they would do and then someone changes their mind, man or woman, that is wrong, and that party should be held accountable.
But, if no discussion took place then it is not 100% the woman's decision. The kid is 50% the husband's. He has an equal say.
And I don't buy all that garbage.."well we have to carry for 9 months." You're equal in the bed, you're equal in decisions about the pregnancy. But if one wants and the other does not, then the one who wants should expect to be fully responsible financially.
IMO
If had ever knocked a girl up, there is no way I would let her abort. She'd have the kid, and if she wanted no part, fine.
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| Posted 3/9/06 12:05 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
If had ever knocked a girl up, there is no way I would let her abort. She'd have the kid, and if she wanted no part, fine.
No way you would let her?
again let her?
seems to me you don't have to let her do anything...she can and will
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| Posted 3/9/06 12:07 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
If had ever knocked a girl up, there is no way I would let her abort. She'd have the kid, and if she wanted no part, fine.
How on earth would you manage that? I'm not being a smart *** here. I'm really curious how you'd carry that out.
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| Posted 3/9/06 12:07 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Men Want Say in Unplanned Pregnancy
Posted by DebG
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
If had ever knocked a girl up, there is no way I would let her abort. She'd have the kid, and if she wanted no part, fine.
No way you would let her?
again let her?
seems to me you don't have to let her do anything...she can and will
well thankfully, i was never put in that situation
if she did without my consent, she had better pray to God that i never found out
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| Posted 3/9/06 12:08 PM |
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