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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
I don't know if you saw my post but my uncle is dying.  I just got called that his kidneys are shutting down. I don't think that he will make it more than a day. My daughter's first birthday party is on Saturday. We have the food ordered and everything prepared. Should I just cancel it now. I don't know what to do. I selfishly, don't want to deprive her over it but I also don't know what to do for my families sake. I know they would understand if I still went through with it. I just don't know what to do. Also when we scheduled the party we didn't know at this point that he was going down hill or even down hill so quickly.
Please tell me what you would do if you are in my place. I am just so torn. I want to be a good niece but I also want my daughter to have her party.
Message edited 4/20/2006 4:58:54 PM.
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Posted 4/19/06 7:15 PM  |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I'm sorry about your uncle.
This is a tough call... but I think you can go ahead with her birthday party. Just expect that some people may not show and maybe try to keep it a little more low-key. I don't think it would be selfish for you to still have the party. I also don't think your uncle would want you to deprive her of her first birthday party.
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| Posted 4/19/06 7:30 PM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I believe in the celebration of life. I'd play it by ear as per when funeral arrangements may be.
I'm so sorry about your uncle 
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| Posted 4/19/06 7:31 PM |
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bellarina
She's my dancing queen!
Member since 5/05 1752 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I'm so sorry!
If it were me, I'd postpone the party- I know it's such a great milestone for your DD but she won't realize you moved the date. I wish your whole family lots of luck and I am sending many prayers. Good luck in whatever you decide.
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| Posted 4/19/06 7:35 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
If his funeral wasn't that day I would go ahead with the party. I don't think you're being selfish.
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| Posted 4/19/06 7:51 PM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Posted by kelly4
I'm so sorry!
If it were me, I'd postpone the party- I know it's such a great milestone for your DD but she won't realize you moved the date. I wish your whole family lots of luck and I am sending many prayers. Good luck in whatever you decide.
i agree. sorry about your uncle. 
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:05 PM |
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Calla
My girls
Member since 7/05 4303 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I'd postpone. Your daughter won't know the difference and everyone will be in a better mood to celebrate.
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:09 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I spoke to my Mother and she said that I am absolutely not cancelling the party. It's her side so I would go by what she said except that I feel guilty. My DH is adamant that we are not cancelling he said because chances are that the funeral will not be on Saturday so, unless that happens we are not cancelling.
Thank you all for the advice I am still very torn up by it and feel guilty that I am even struggling to make a decision.
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:10 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Posted by Calla
I'd postpone. Your daughter won't know the difference and everyone will be in a better mood to celebrate.
The only 2 people who were going to be there that it would affect are my Mother and my Stepfather. Everyone else that is going to be their our DH's family, my father's side and my friends.
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:11 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Posted by Jamie
The only 2 people who were going to be there that it would affect are my Mother and my Stepfather. Everyone else that is going to be their our DH's family, my father's side and my friends.
Then I wouldn't cancel. I would however do a toast or put an extra candle on the cake as an extra wish from your uncle.
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:32 PM |
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dee7772
My Loves
Member since 5/05 4852 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I think that is a great idea.
I am so sorry about your uncle.
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| Posted 4/19/06 8:43 PM |
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sunny
Life is good!
Member since 5/05 8369 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
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| Posted 4/19/06 10:37 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Thank you all. I just spoke with my cousin and she said, that he is probably not elidible for dialysis based on the other problems and that he could go quickly or not for days. She said that she wouldn't postpone either. But that still doesn't stop making me feel guilty.
Thank you all for the advice.
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| Posted 4/19/06 10:46 PM |
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IrishTracy
Believe!!
Member since 5/05 15167 total posts
Name:
Tracy
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
I would go ahead with the party.
I will FM you
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| Posted 4/20/06 8:48 AM |
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jersee3380
He's here!!
Member since 5/05 1372 total posts
Name:
caroline
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Posted by BabyAvocado
I'm sorry about your uncle.
This is a tough call... but I think you can go ahead with her birthday party. Just expect that some people may not show and maybe try to keep it a little more low-key. I don't think it would be selfish for you to still have the party. I also don't think your uncle would want you to deprive her of her first birthday party.
i agree
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| Posted 4/20/06 3:13 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Posted by Jamie
I spoke to my Mother and she said that I am absolutely not cancelling the party. It's her side so I would go by what she said except that I feel guilty. My DH is adamant that we are not cancelling he said because chances are that the funeral will not be on Saturday so, unless that happens we are not cancelling.
Thank you all for the advice I am still very torn up by it and feel guilty that I am even struggling to make a decision.
try not to beat yourself up about it.
i'd still go ahead with the party, and know that you have your mom's blessing.
your little girls first b-day party only happens once, so i would go ahead as planned!!
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| Posted 4/20/06 3:46 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Hey Sweetie!
I say the show must go on. You don't know the timing of when things might happen (God forbid they do), so why should you postpone a very important milestone in your precious babies life due to a what if? I know it sounds mercenary but life has to go on. You could postpone and some other unforseen event could disrupt things next weekend, etc..
As long as the core of the guestlist isn't going to be greatly impacted, I say party on! It might bring up your spirits a tad and I know you have planned and worked hard to make this a very special day for your baby girl 
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| Posted 4/20/06 4:29 PM |
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justthe4ofus
I hate hypocrites!!!!!
Member since 5/05 6905 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Well my uncle passed away about 2 hours ago. So now I am just waiting on the arrangements.
Thank you all. I think it is hitting my mother hard that she can't be here but as I told her, you were there on her actual birthday and that's all that matters.
THank you all again.
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| Posted 4/20/06 4:52 PM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do
Sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 4/20/06 4:54 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
Sorry for your loss
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:03 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
I'm so sorry Jamie 
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:03 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
I am sorry for your loss
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:05 PM |
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paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
I'm very sorry about your uncle.
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:05 PM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
So sorry Jamie...
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:11 PM |
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Melbernai
I am a lucky Momma!
Member since 7/05 15652 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Selfish dilema-- What would you do-- He passed away
I am so sorry to hear about your uncle.
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| Posted 4/20/06 5:36 PM |
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