Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

E-parties are not common in my family. My mother frowns upon them, and therefore we didn't even consider it.

DH and I did host and engagement dinner at a restaurant for our immediate families only (parents, sisters & bro-in-laws). This was so our two families could meet. We couldn't call it an e-party, because it wasn't really a party, and gifts weren't expected.

We paid for the dinner and also gave our mothers a huge bouquet of flowers each as a gift to them. So if anything the gifts went the other way...from DH and I to our family.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I personally think it is TOO much...and didnt have one...but that is JMO

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I dont like weddings that have E-parties, bridal showers, bachelorette parties all in one year. I think its too much.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I personally think it is too much as well and did not have one.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

in my family, we don't have them, but they are popular in my dh's family. so the parents split the cost of the eparty. we had the party in july of 2004 and the wedding was in august of 2006, so it was over 2 years before the wedding. i think that makes a difference

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

IMO, timing is key.

If a couple has one right after they're engaged, and the engagement is 1+ year, than it's fine.

However, I think this couple was greedy:

Engaged in Feb
Eparty in Aug
Shower in Oct
Wedding in Nov

all in the same year.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We had one...it was kind of big..about 100 people at a Knights of Columbus...we loved every minute of it and so did the guests. It was nice for everyone to meet each other (extended family). I DON"T think its greedy at all....its not like we were asking for gifts on the invitation

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We had one!

We got engaged and knew we would be getting married for over 2 years & still wanted to celebrate. We had it at a KOC hall w/ DJ, buffet food, cake & all. We had a blast but I'm not sure I would have had one as big (100 pp) if the wedding was 1 year or less. Either way I wouldn't say someone was greedy for having one at any time.

P.S HOWEVER we all call them fun raisers!!!

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

to be 100% honest, ive always thought it was.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think it's greedy.

FIL and his wife hosted our very informal engagement party at their house. Only our friends and my parents were invited. It was more of a way for our parents to get to know FIL and his wife better and for our friends to all meet/get to know each other better. We didn't expect any gifts and made sure everyone knew it was an informal get together. We had it only 4 months before the wedding b/c we wanted something outside.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I don't think it's greedy at all, I had one and think everyone should have one, I also love going to them.

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

We did not have an engagement party b/c we were getting married exactly one yr from the time we got engaged and my mom convinced me it was too much to ask of people to buy a gift for a bridal shower and then a wedding gift and an engagement gift all in one yrs time. However, we did receive a few engagement presents (my parents were one of them go figure ) but most of them were from "younger" relatives and friends..I think it wasn't common back in the day and that is why some people who are "older" may view it as being greedy b/c like others have said it is "rude" to show up to a party w/o a gift....

Re: Since many of you already went through the wedding process,is having an engagemnt party greedy?

I think it depends on the timing of everything. We had ours a full year and a half before the wedding. My husband and I had been dating for nine years before we got engaged so it just felt appropriate to celebrate the huge news. I don't usually think about Engagement parties as being about the gifts and I think most people we associate with don't either, so I was never concerned about seeming greedy. Plus, we spent a ton of money on it, so you definitely couldn't say it was about the gifts—it would have been MUCH cheaper to just go out and by all that stuff, if that's all we were after. Anyway, we threw a fabulous deck party that to this day ranks up there as one of the best nights of my life, I would have really missed out if I didn't have that party. I have, however, been to E-parties that are really half ***, cheaply done or flat out boring—I can see those coming across as a big excuse for gifts.

I think you have to ask yourself why you want the party. If any part of you thinks of it as a way to raise money for the wedding, you should just skip it all together.