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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
you can write them a note saying that more then one occasion you and your family have been extremely offended by tracis husbans beliefs and recist remarks, and you are choosing to part ways as friends.
an email or phone call opens you up to a response, whereas a letter doesnt as much.
the only thing is- if you go to other parties, wil you see them there? will you run into traci out at the store?
or can you cut them out of your life completely?
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Posted 8/24/06 1:21 PM  |
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BrooklynGrl
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 115 total posts
Name:
R
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by JenniferEver
Posted by SweetTooth
Posted by princessMOMMY
My other friends feel the same way. But they are very afraid of hurting Traci in the process, since she doesn't appear to be involved...
Well, she is married to him and therefore is involved. If she is choosing to ignore it, well then she is ignorant. And if she is not oblivious to it then she that mean she agrees with him, she just is not vocal.
I don't see how you can marry someone without knowing he has those kinds of attitudes, there is no way she doesn't know.
HELLO! A whole floor of HER house is filled with Nazi stuff. There's no way she's an innocent victim here. She knows what his views are, she married him, she's inviting people over where they can see his collection, she doesn't tell him to shut up. She's complicit. I know you feel bad for her (I would too), but think about it, would YOU marry someone like that? No.
So on some level she thinks it's ok and I don't think thats what you want to be hanging around with.
I agree. I would tell her that you don't agree with their beliefs and you don't want your daughter around that kind of talk. End it.
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| Posted 8/24/06 1:22 PM |
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AimeeE2006
Time flies!
Member since 1/06 5698 total posts
Name:
Aimee
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Tough situation. I would try and talk to Traci about how you're feeling. Maybe even have your other friend talk to her with you. Don't make it seem as though you are ganging up on her...just make her aware. Maybe she's in denial that her dh is like this.
ETA...after reading through all the posts, I realized that whoever said that you don't want the DH & his friends knocking on your door may be right. Perhaps just stop calling Traci. She might get the message.
Message edited 8/24/2006 1:43:09 PM.
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| Posted 8/24/06 1:33 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by nrthshgrl
I agree with telling the wife that you have different beliefs & don't think you should get together anymore. If she asks what you mean, you could say the racists remarks & leave it at that.
For safety sake, I would NOT say anything about what you REALLY think of his beliefs. The last thing you want is a Neo-Nazi & his azzhole friends knocking on your door.
Also Tracy isn't "innocent". She's got a roomful of Nazi memorabilia & paraphenalia in her house. She may not wholeheartedly agree with his views, but she's not blind.
Totally agree with this!
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:11 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
I would def not want my child around that kind of thinking. As hard as it is, I would be honest and move on. Good luck
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:14 PM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by Ambersmom
Posted by nrthshgrl
I agree with telling the wife that you have different beliefs & don't think you should get together anymore. If she asks what you mean, you could say the racists remarks & leave it at that.
For safety sake, I would NOT say anything about what you REALLY think of his beliefs. The last thing you want is a Neo-Nazi & his azzhole friends knocking on your door.
Also Tracy isn't "innocent". She's got a roomful of Nazi memorabilia & paraphenalia in her house. She may not wholeheartedly agree with his views, but she's not blind.
Totally agree with this!
I agree!
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:14 PM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
I would start by stopping play dates with Traci's daughter. The longer you let this go on the hard it is going to be to cut the ties - and the more your daughter is going to think that this is acceptable behavior - No matter how many times you tell her that it's not. Actions speak louder than words.
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:25 PM |
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~Melissa~
Member since 5/06 1462 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Thank you so much for your replies.
One of the reasons I have been scared to say anything is because I post on a private message board with Traci. It's a small, close-knit community and we've been posting together for 4 years. I am afraid of what will happen once I end the friendship. I know that is so stupid.  I mean, do I leave the board that I love just to avoid her?
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:33 PM |
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spooks
So in love!
Member since 6/06 4378 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
I don't see why you would have to leave the board that Traci is on, unless she starts to let it interfere with the freedom to "chat". If it does get to that point, then maybe you will want to leave the board. This all must be very difficult but you should be proud you're standing up for what you believe in and protecting your child.
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:48 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by princessMOMMY
My other friends feel the same way. But they are very afraid of hurting Traci in the process, since she doesn't appear to be involved...
I have to disagree with this. If she sits there and says nothing, then she accepts what he says and does. IMO she is very much involved. Silence is acceptance. If she didn't want to go along with what her husband was saying and she was afraid to say something in front of him, she could talk to any of you privately and explain that those are not her beliefs. I would talk to her and tell her that I am not comfortable AT ALL around her husband and that I did not care to be in his presence. If that meant that I would be excluded from the group, so be it. However, if the others feel the same way you do, they all need to say something. Twisted people like this only cause drama and controversy and I would never allow him to be anywhere near my child. What a jerk!
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| Posted 8/24/06 2:57 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by spooks
I don't see why you would have to leave the board that Traci is on, unless she starts to let it interfere with the freedom to "chat". If it does get to that point, then maybe you will want to leave the board. This all must be very difficult but you should be proud you're standing up for what you believe in and protecting your child.
I agree. Unless she bring it up to on the board & makes it an issue, I see no reason why you should leave it.
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| Posted 8/24/06 3:00 PM |
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans
Member since 1/06 4018 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by princessMOMMY
I mean, do I leave the board that I love just to avoid her?
I don't think you have to leave the board but I don't think this should be the reason not to say something and cut all ties.
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| Posted 8/24/06 3:01 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
When I read the title of this thread, I really didn't think you meant it literally.  That is so scary.
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| Posted 8/24/06 3:21 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by CkGm
I would come straight out and tell these people you are not accepting of their disgusting beliefs and that you choose not to be friends with them anymore.
Let's make your choice easier- if you found out this guy was a pediofile and his wife was going along with it- would you even think twice???
ETA: This person scares me a little bit too.
I completely agree.
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| Posted 8/24/06 4:01 PM |
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nyteacher13
Three Under Four!!! :-)
Member since 8/06 6405 total posts
Name:
~ THERESA ~
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
I know this is a VERY old thread, but I'm curious as to what ever happened with this.
Any updates???
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| Posted 6/14/07 8:46 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
Name:
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Re: My friend's husband is a Nazi. (long, advice needed)
Posted by nyteacher13
I know this is a VERY old thread, but I'm curious as to what ever happened with this.
Any updates???
GREAT QUESTION!!
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| Posted 6/14/07 9:50 PM |
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