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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Sticky Situation
I have three people, friend A and Friend B and Friend C.
Well, friend A has talked badly about Friends B and C to me. I am ashamed to admit, I never stuck up from friends B and C...just listed to A and moved on (didnt really comment one way or the other) I started becoming disappointed with myself for not being a good friend, I just felt so torn.
Well now I am no longer friends with A....think I should tell friends B and C? (A is not even friends with b and c just an aquiantance) it sounds selfish but I am wondering if that will make me feel better...but then I realize it could hur feelings and I should just continue to keep my mouth shut. Ugh...I'm torn.
Updated 8/9
Wanted to let you all know that friends B and C found out what kind of friend A is...without me having to say a word!
I feel so much better now.
Message edited 8/9/2005 1:15:04 PM.
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Posted 8/2/05 6:22 PM  |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Sticky Situation
Better let old bitches lie dormant and not rehash trash
Message edited 8/2/2005 6:24:03 PM.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:23 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
I think you should do whatever makes you feel better, and yet try to spare any hurt feelings. Some people can handle things maturely, others cant. Make that decisiona nd take it from there.
Good luck!
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:26 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
I actually had this happen to me recently....
Someone who i thought was a friend told me information that was said about me behind my back......
In all honesty....her telling me was wrong. Especially the way it was said to me. It did nothing but make me think badly of the person who said it to me !
IMO THAT is no friend....passing on info AFTER the friendship is gone....Would you have told them if you were still friendly with A!
ETA...it is only going to make YOU look catty...that you waited until the coast was clear to now reveal what was said to you in confidence
Message edited 8/2/2005 6:30:59 PM.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:27 PM |
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Jax430
Hi!
Member since 5/05 18919 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: Sticky Situation
IMO, there is no need for your friends to know that person A said something bad about them if they aren't friends with person A at all. You may feel better, but they aren't likely to feel good about it at all.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:29 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Would you have told them if you were still friendly with A!
No, but I felt some sort of loyalty to A before.
I see that B and C, who were just aquiantances may be in a place soon to get closer with A because of work and some other stuff.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:30 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
I have to add that since you mentioned the acquaintence part...I would if I were B OR C want to know. I know we go through this at work a lot..its very petty there and I would want my friend to tell me. Im mature enough not to start anything after finding out, but I would know who I can and cannot trust.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:32 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
Posted by Redhead
Would you have told them if you were still friendly with A!
No, but I felt some sort of loyalty to A before.
I see that B and C, who were just aquiantances may be in a place soon to get closer with A because of work and some other stuff.
Then i think that is even worse. I think you are DEFINITELY going to look VERY CATTY and untrustworthy...That a close friend said something to you...because you were close friends....and since you are not tell all the things she told you in confidence....
I would be very weary of doing that for backfire!
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:35 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
I am weary, but I also want to protect B and C so they know EXACTLY what kind of person they are about to become associated with and she does not hurt them down the line like she hurt me.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:37 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
I am weary, but I also want to protect B and C so they know EXACTLY what kind of person they are about to become associated with and she does not hurt them down the line like she hurt me.
well if you truly think that they will be hurt...tell them.
Then you are lookin gout for their best interest...
But again....if you are just aquaintences...becareful...
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:40 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Sticky Situation
when in doubt - -shut up 
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:40 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
I am friends with B and C...not A anymore
A used to an jsut an aquaintance of B and C but now maybe more.
Ugh. My head hurts.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:41 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Are you trying to be a good friend to B and C? I would want my friends to protect me bottom line, from either what others said by telling me, or by not telling me...guess it depends on what was said ya know?
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:42 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by DebG
I am friends with B and C...not A anymore
A used to an jsut an aquaintance of B and C but now maybe more.
Ugh. My head hurts.
So you don't even know what kind of friendship they may or may not have with this other person?
Like i said,,,i was recently in this situation....and a good friend told me stuff that aquaintences said about ME.
In the end...i do not trust the person who passed along the info!
It made me look at the person as someone who ISN"T my friend for tellling me...Just made me thing she told me out of self convenience!
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:45 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
I am friends with B and C...not A anymore
A used to an jsut an aquaintance of B and C but now maybe more.
Ugh. My head hurts.
So you don't even know what kind of friendship they may or may not have with this other person?
Like i said,,,i was recently in this situation....and a good friend told me stuff that aquaintences said about ME.
In the end...i do not trust the person who passed along the info!
It made me look at the person as someone who ISN"T my friend for tellling me...Just made me thing she told me out of self convenience!
Wow..Im 100% opposite...
I have friends at work for example..one VERY close friends and some so -so friends..IF those so-so friends talked about me and my good friend didnt tell me, I would be LIVID and re-consider my friendship with that person....
I think Deb, your main objective should be to see who if anyone will be hurt and who are you more loyal too and can you truly protect someone from being hurt again.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:49 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by Redhead
Posted by DebG
I am friends with B and C...not A anymore
A used to an jsut an aquaintance of B and C but now maybe more.
Ugh. My head hurts.
So you don't even know what kind of friendship they may or may not have with this other person?
Like i said,,,i was recently in this situation....and a good friend told me stuff that aquaintences said about ME.
In the end...i do not trust the person who passed along the info!
It made me look at the person as someone who ISN"T my friend for tellling me...Just made me thing she told me out of self convenience!
Wow..Im 100% opposite...
I have friends at work for example..one VERY close friends and some so -so friends..IF those so-so friends talked about me and my good friend didnt tell me, I would be LIVID and re-consider my friendship with that person....
I think Deb, your main objective should be to see who if anyone will be hurt and who are you more loyal too and can you truly protect someone from being hurt again.
Thanks Donna- I am leaning more along these lines. I know that if someone was saying soemthing about me, I would want to know.
Red-I am int he process of watching thier relationships transition.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:51 PM |
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luvsbob4603
To a healthy 2013
Member since 5/05 21840 total posts
Name:
To a brand new year to a healthier me
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Re: Sticky Situation
it depends on the situation if you feel like you need to tell friend b and c about what friend a said than do it . otherwise i wouldn't say anything goodluck .
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:52 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
Wow..Im 100% opposite...
I have friends at work for example..one VERY close friends and some so -so friends..IF those so-so friends talked about me and my good friend didnt tell me, I would be LIVID and re-consider my friendship with that person....
very interesting....Well i was told sh!t about me out of spite ....And the "good friend" was very secretive about who actually said what...Again made the person look like they were catty rather than any genuine concern
But Deb...if you think that you are doing something good go for it....Just be sure you never said anything about anyone.
Cause that can come back to bite you!
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:53 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Sticky Situation
I certainly am prepared for the bite....thankfully I have never ripped into others as hard as this person has. Although I am getting to a point in my life where I want to make ammends to certain people for things I have said or done in my past but its not related to this here problem so I will just leave it at that.
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| Posted 8/2/05 6:55 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Sticky Situation
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:09 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Sticky Situation
I think if I were friend B or C...i would want to know what A said about me.
Just so that I would know what kind of a person A was, and I would know to stay away from them.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:14 PM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:31 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
I dont like people talking about others behind their backs, and so I make sure I never say anything that I wouldnt say to someones face, so I personally would want to be told, since thats how I act...
I mean I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:35 PM |
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Palebride
I am an amazing bakist
Member since 5/05 13673 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
I dont like people talking about others behind their backs, and so I make sure I never say anything that I wouldnt say to someones face, so I personally would want to be told, since thats how I act...
I mean I could be wrong, its just my opinion.
I have to agree with you.
I think it should be done in a mature way - which I'm sure she'd do - and not in a revengeful way.
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:38 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Sticky Situation
Posted by dm24angel
Posted by ambersmom
Posted by MrsERod
this whole thread sounds like he said, she said BS to me, IMO. unless one were still in high school, i would just leave it alone.
I agree...it has the potential to go very bad very quick...good luck
but dont you think that anyone thinking shes catty is high school like and the best think she could do it be an adult and bring it out in the open?
then she would have done it when it was first said....NOT waiting till she isn't friends with someone..
But either way....if she thinks it is saving someone from a world of hurt, maybe it is worth looking catty about. and maybe it should be said.....There are definitely people i wish i was warned about...
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| Posted 8/2/05 7:43 PM |
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