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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
I am getting so bitter toward my hubby, I NEVER get a break, I take care of our 3 kids all day and then even through out the night it's ALL ME!!! I'm beginning to see why Moms opt for bottle feeding, then DH could help at night, so you ladies that are bottle feeding, does DH help you through out the night? When I hear hubby snoring in a nice, deep, sleep, I feel like I want to put the pillow over his face (just kidding), but I am exhausted!!!!!
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Posted 9/1/05 10:42 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
paulandles912
My children are a blessing!
Member since 5/05 2598 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
DH has never helped during the night. And I've been bottle feeding since 10 weeks. Luckily Andrew now sleeps through the night...
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:47 AM |
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stayandjohn
Our life is complete
Member since 5/05 5909 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
HA Nope!!! When the baby refuses to sleep after his 2:30 feeding and he is screaming I look over at DH and say no no you sleep. He says he doesnt hear him yet my husband can hear our clothes dryer beep from 3 floors down!!! On Sats and Sundays when the baby wakes up in the morning (7:15) I let DH get him and I stay in bed until 8:30 9:00
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:53 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
As long as I am off work and breastfeeding I don't expect my DH to help in the middle of the night.
But we were talking that maybe we could do one bottle a night and since he's up later than me I could go to sleep early and he could do the feeding before he goes to bed so I don't have to get up for that one.
But we'll see how it goes once she's here.
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:54 AM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Yes, my husband helped in the beginning. He would stay up with the baby until 11 pm. and put him to sleep. I would go to bed by 9 so I would have had enough sleep by the time he would wake up for his next feeding (by 5 am). Luckily, he began to sleep completely through the night when he was about 8 weeks old.
I think that it's not that the men don't want to do it, it's that they will avoid offering to do so if we women don't say anything. Why not propose to your husband that he wake up and you guys can work in shifts?
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:54 AM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
well, i'm glad to hear that I am not the only one sufffering, I hate to wake him up because he is indeed getting up and going to work int he morning, but guess what, I take care of the kids ALL day which is a full tme job, and I know first hand that it is easier some days to go to work than it is to stay home. Oh well, I'll **** it up and pray that my little one begins to sleep through the night SOON!
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:59 AM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
DH and I are on completely different schedules. He works until midnight and I'm going to bed by that point. He stays up until about 6 or 7 AM and during that time, he takes care of Christopher (IF he gets up). It's great, because I get to sleep during that time. 
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| Posted 9/1/05 10:59 AM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Before she was sleeping thru the night, he would do the 11pm feeding. But I did everything else all day. He leaves the house at 6am and gets home around 9pm, so it's impossible for him to help.
I get angry when he goes out for drinks after work and doesn't get home until really late and I'm stuck doing everything in the house and caring for Sarah all day. We're having a lot of work done on our house now, and between that and the baby I'm working harder than I ever did at a job. It's really frustrating sometimes when he doesn't seem to appreciate how much I'm doing.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:01 AM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by emilain
well, i'm glad to hear that I am not the only one sufffering, I hate to wake him up because he is indeed getting up and going to work int he morning, but guess what, I take care of the kids ALL day which is a full tme job, and I know first hand that it is easier some days to go to work than it is to stay home. Oh well, I'll **** it up and pray that my little one begins to sleep through the night SOON!
I totally understand you and I can be honest with you about something? Even though he goes to work, whenever work is getting too crazy and he needs a break, he can have that break. you, on the other hand, cannot. and the way I look at it is that you both had these children so he should be helping you.
I hope you don't take offense to anything I am saying. I just truly support you and feel that you should be getting help.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:01 AM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by BrunetteMom
Posted by emilain
well, i'm glad to hear that I am not the only one sufffering, I hate to wake him up because he is indeed getting up and going to work int he morning, but guess what, I take care of the kids ALL day which is a full tme job, and I know first hand that it is easier some days to go to work than it is to stay home. Oh well, I'll **** it up and pray that my little one begins to sleep through the night SOON!
I totally understand you and I can be honest with you about something? Even though he goes to work, whenever work is getting too crazy and he needs a break, he can have that break. you, on the other hand, cannot. and the way I look at it is that you both had these children so he should be helping you.
I hope you don't take offense to anything I am saying. I just truly support you and feel that you should be getting help.
No offense taken AT ALL! I appreciate your input, I think Moms usually do all the work, I just know of some Dads who are REALLY involved and not that I want to compare my husband because I know he's great, I just wish Dads in general felt more responsibility in caring for a newborn. Maybe they feel inadequate or nervous, who knws, I'll keep in mind it gets easier. We should have an on-line support at 2am!
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:08 AM |
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CaidensMommy
My 3 Miracles!
Member since 5/05 5777 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
My DH NEVER helped out during the night. My son was up every 1.5-3 hours until he was 10 months old!  And he also NEVER helps out in the morning either. MEN!!! 
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:10 AM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by CaidensMommy
My DH NEVER helped out during the night. My son was up every 1.5-3 hours until he was 10 months old! And he also NEVER helps out in the morning either. MEN!!!
I think we need WIVES! Anyone interested? I'm a good cook and keep a clean house! I even pay all the bills, do food shoppinf and garden!
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:12 AM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
If you want them to help you have to tell them exactly what you need them to do. DH used to always help in the middle of the night. When Jack was getting up every 4 hours to eat, we would alternate.
I don't beleive that since my husdand goes to work every day that he should not have to share the baby responsibilites during the night. Yeah he may be a little tired, but he can take 15 minutes during the day and drink that hot cup of coffee or go out to lunch for a little pick me up. Being home all day doesn't offer us those chances, so we approach it that we both work during the day from 9-5 and when he comes home it is 50/50.
Even now with Jack being 10 monhts old, DH comes home, plays with him, gives him his bath, bottle and puts him to bed.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:16 AM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
That's so funny about the wives remark 
But it's very true. I know that for me, I just take it upon myself to do everything because I truly enjoy to do so. so I have to blame myself to a certain extent but I do wish at times that he were more assertive and be more like "Honey, you sit, I'll do it" yeah right lol
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:17 AM |
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my3bugs
Mom of 2 Boys
Member since 5/05 4381 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Yes - DH does help. Since our schedules are the same work wise, it is the only fair thing to do. I agree with ddunne - if he didn't help - I would have made him - the baby is a shared responsibility in my book.
I don't have nighttime feedings anymore but when I did he did help. At first, he was only helping when he took two weeks off when baby was first born. Then while I was on maternity leave and he was working, I was doing most of them (he did help some because he felt bad at least he go tto nap on LIRR each way - hehe). Now we are both working and at night we both get up to answer the cries (no night feedings). Sometimes I think he pretends he doesn't hear him though. Weekends we alternate. One day one gets up early with the baby, the next day the other.
Message edited 9/1/2005 11:23:46 AM.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:21 AM |
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emilain
UNREAL!!!!!!!!
Member since 5/05 4457 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by ddunne2
If you want them to help you have to tell them exactly what you need them to do. DH used to always help in the middle of the night. When Jack was getting up every 4 hours to eat, we would alternate.
I don't beleive that since my husdand goes to work every day that he should not have to share the baby responsibilites during the night. Yeah he may be a little tired, but he can take 15 minutes during the day and drink that hot cup of coffee or go out to lunch for a little pick me up. Being home all day doesn't offer us those chances, so we approach it that we both work during the day from 9-5 and when he comes home it is 50/50.
Even now with Jack being 10 monhts old, DH comes home, plays with him, gives him his bath, bottle and puts him to bed.
WoW. That's a great way to work it! I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and now a 2 week old and my hubby has bathed the kids maybe 2 times, and he has never made them dinner unless I'm not home, and even then I need to call him to remind him. I adore him but I guess I need to take some lessons from other Mommies to get him to "step up" a little more.
Message edited 9/1/2005 11:23:41 AM.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:22 AM |
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GraciesMom
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 1636 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
My husband does not get up during the night. The only time he got up in the beginning was after she was crying for over an hour and he would come out and say something stupid, like maybe she's hungry or why don't you do this...or that.... Hello, don't you think I tried everything, sorry to disturb your sleep! The best is in the morning when he says, the baby slept good last night you didn't have to get up at all. Hello....I was up five times! I do have to say he does help out alot with her when he gets home from work. I work three days at home and two in the office. He still thinks I have a day off when I am working at home. He doesn't understand that I have two jobs on those days! Although I miss my daughter so much when I go into the office, it is the only real break I get! Now that is sad. So just know, you are not alone!
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:40 AM |
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
I never expected my DH to get up in the middle of the night when he had to go to work, but he often did.
Even in the first 3 months when I was breastfeeding he got up with me most times to make sure everything was ok and sometimes just to keep me company.
There was a few times he moved to the guest room to get better sleep, but he would always meet me in the hallway anyway! 
Message edited 9/1/2005 11:48:12 AM.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:46 AM |
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by ddunne2
Even now with Jack being 10 monhts old, DH comes home, plays with him, gives him his bath, bottle and puts him to bed.
I just read this, this is how it is at our house too.
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| Posted 9/1/05 11:49 AM |
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
I have to say, when Cassidy was waking up in the middle of the night, DH took care of her probably 75% of the time. He's kind of a night owl anyway, and has a hard time sleeping, so he actually looked forward to her waking up so he could see her.
Even yesterday morning she woke up at about 6, he got up, gave her to me on the bed while he made her breakfast, came back and said "I'm here to pick up my breakfast date"
It's true what another poster said though, men really need to be TOLD what you need, or they just don't get it. I think at the very least you should ask him to take weekend nights.
Good luck
Message edited 9/1/2005 12:27:31 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/05 12:26 PM |
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dengal
Dad of Twins
Member since 5/05 1385 total posts
Name:
The 80's Man
Let's Go Mets!
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Hey - I got up in the middle of the night to help out! With twins I had to!
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| Posted 9/1/05 12:46 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
DH never has helped during the night. He figures that since I stay home and he has to get up for work Its all me!!!  . I would love a break!!! Its always me. He comes home from work needs to relax !! When is my break? I try to tell him yes you work but you leave work and come home .This is my "job" but it is 24/7 ,it never stops I need a break too!
Message edited 9/1/2005 1:24:21 PM.
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| Posted 9/1/05 1:22 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
He's not working now and still doesn't help out. I told him that I wanted to have just one night of uninterrupted sleep. I'd sleep downstairs in the guest room. DH is a deep sleeper so I'm pretty sure he wouldn't wake up to feed the baby.
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| Posted 9/1/05 1:47 PM |
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ddunne2
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 4189 total posts
Name:
Doreen
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
Posted by momAGAIN
DH never has helped during the night. He figures that since I stay home and he has to get up for work Its all me!!! . I would love a break!!! Its always me. He comes home from work needs to relax !! When is my break? I try to tell him yes you work but you leave work and come home .This is my "job" but it is 24/7 ,it never stops I need a break too!
"He comes home and needs to relax!" Please don't take offense, but that is bs and totally unfair to you! How about his down time on his commute to and from work or sitting at lunch with the guys from the office? I know I am more demanding than a lot of wives but as far as I'm concerned it should be equal. Oh, and I also juggle working from home 20 hours a week.
From the get go when we got married I never started doing all the chores. So I think that set a good ground work in our house. My DH even cleans all 3 bathrooms and does a lot of the laundry! I do all the other daily cleaning, cooking, errands, grocery shopping, etc. 50/50 in this house!
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| Posted 9/1/05 2:14 PM |
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jillybean66
LIF Toddler
Member since 5/05 393 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Mommies!! Does DH help during the night?
My DH has always helped a LOT. In fact he probably took over more night feedings than I did, and he worked FT while I was on maternity leave. Ironically, now I am back to work FT and he stays home FT with the baby - I will get up with the baby if he happens to wake up at night, etc. I guess I feel like since I am gone all day I need to make up for it!
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| Posted 9/1/05 2:24 PM |
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