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What age would be too old to have a baby?

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Baboots
I miss you grandma

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What age would be too old to have a baby?

I'll be 31 next month and although I want to start to try to conceive now, the timing isn't right. I just started my 1st semester of college and I was hoping to at least get my associates degree first, but that's still 1 1/2 years from now. I would like to have 2 maybe 3 kids, but I don't want to have any complications. Any suggestions? TIA

Message edited 4/5/2006 3:26:05 PM.

Posted 4/5/06 3:12 PM
 
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karacg
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Kara®

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

As a 39-year-old trying for my first, sorry, I don't have any suggestions.

ETA --- Statistically, your odds start to drop after 35.

Message edited 4/5/2006 3:23:42 PM.

Posted 4/5/06 3:21 PM
 

Baboots
I miss you grandma

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by karacg

As a 39-year-old trying for my first, sorry, I don't have any suggestions.



That's ok. Good luck....here's some baby dust for you Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 4/5/06 3:22 PM
 

Anniegrl
I'm two!

Member since 5/05

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Ann

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I can't answer that, but I'll be almost 36 when the baby is born. DH and I want to have a second baby also.

Posted 4/5/06 3:23 PM
 

mrsmck
Be a big girl!

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Donna

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I'm 37 and still trying for my first. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Posted 4/5/06 3:24 PM
 

4monkeys
boys will be boys =)

Member since 9/05

7205 total posts

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:)

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Thats a very personal question and tough one to answer.
I personally couldnt see waiting to finish school, only because you never know how long it would take to conceive. and Im just not a beleiver of waiting until "xyz" Because I know its not something that I call the shots on (big guy upstairs Chat Icon )

Luckily we've had no trouble conceiving, and Ive just about completed my Masters (this May) 3yrs and 3 kids later Chat Icon I started when the first was born and will graduate when the 3rd is born. TOok classes at nite, while working part time durin some days.

WE keep saying if we made it through this, financially and physically and mentally, this is the toughest of all we've conquered Chat Icon

Anything is possible.Chat Icon
ITs your own choice, and you do what works for you! Chat Icon

ETA: Im 31 also. Chat Icon

Message edited 4/5/2006 3:29:02 PM.

Posted 4/5/06 3:27 PM
 

anon
where's winter?

Member since 11/05

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

for me, the sooner the better...

i am 32 and having my first, i would like to have more and even though ideally i would like to wait a few years, i doubt i will.

my mother had my sister at 39 and even though she was worried, all turned out fine. i on the other hand, would not wait that long...

Posted 4/5/06 3:28 PM
 

Baboots
I miss you grandma

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by anna

Thats a very personal question and tough one to answer.
I personally couldnt see waiting to finish school, only because you never know how long it would take to conceive.

Luckily we've had no trouble conceiving, and Ive just about completed my Masters (this May) 3yrs and 3 kids later Chat Icon I started when the first was born and will graduate when the 3rd is born. TOok classes at nite, while working part time durin some days.

WE keep saying if we made it through this, financially and physically and mentally, this is the toughest of all we've conquered Chat Icon

Anything is possible.Chat Icon
ITs your own choice, and you do what works for you! Chat Icon

ETA: Im 31 also. Chat Icon



Interesting and very inspiring. My family has been bugging me about having a baby and that I'm not getting any younger and that I should start to try soon because who knows how long it could take. I did go off the pill 2 months ago, but we have been trying to be careful. Thanks for your advice.Chat Icon

Posted 4/5/06 3:31 PM
 

dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!

Member since 10/05

11561 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

My Dh's father (59 yrs old) and Stepmother (53 years old) had a baby last year through IVF after 10 years of trying. I personally think that is too old considering DH's dad had two grown kids already (31 and 29 at the time) from a previous marriage, but who am I to judge???
I think it is bizarre, that our Chat Icon's aunt will be a year older than her.
However, they love the baby very much and I guess that is all that matters; to each his own I guess. Chat Icon

ETA: DH's sister is very healthy and had no problems because her mom was 53.

Also I am 31 and due with my first in May.

Message edited 4/5/2006 4:01:33 PM.

Posted 4/5/06 3:39 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

Name:
Blank

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by anna

Thats a very personal question and tough one to answer.
I personally couldnt see waiting to finish school, only because you never know how long it would take to conceive. and Im just not a beleiver of waiting until "xyz" Because I know its not something that I call the shots on (big guy upstairs Chat Icon )

Luckily we've had no trouble conceiving, and Ive just about completed my Masters (this May) 3yrs and 3 kids later Chat Icon I started when the first was born and will graduate when the 3rd is born. TOok classes at nite, while working part time durin some days.

WE keep saying if we made it through this, financially and physically and mentally, this is the toughest of all we've conquered Chat Icon

Anything is possible.Chat Icon
ITs your own choice, and you do what works for you! Chat Icon

ETA: Im 31 also. Chat Icon



Very welll said.

It's true anything can happen. As I always say it's in God's hands. DH's SIL had two kids one at age 38 and the second one at age 41. Can you have a kid after 35? yes...there are probably more risks after age 35 so maybe a little extra care is required.

Again anything is possible!Chat Icon

ETA: i'm 32

Posted 4/5/06 3:39 PM
 

Ellie
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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I don't have any suggestions, But I wanted to tell you that I was 37 when I had my daughter, and I am now 3 months pregnant with baby #2. I will be 1 month shy of 39 when this baby is born.

Posted 4/5/06 3:56 PM
 

michele31
LIF Adult

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Michele

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I believe that something waiting is not a bad idea. We all have things we want to accomplish. Sometimes we need to do those things before we become mothers. It is a very personal decision. I would never have a baby because family kept asking me to have one. I think YOU need to feel it is a good time. Yes, many women can go to school while pregnant/mothers. Not everyone can. And only you and your husband can decide what is best for your situation. I know for me that I could not be a full-time working mother and go to school at night, pay daycare costs plus school expenses and have time for homework, tests etc... It would be just too much for me.
I got pregnant within 3 months at 33. I had Molly at 34. I am glad that I waited to have her. I think it worked out for the best.

Posted 4/5/06 3:58 PM
 

preciouslove
I love my DS!!!

Member since 5/05

9340 total posts

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Blank

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by michele31

I believe that something waiting is not a bad idea. We all have things we want to accomplish. Sometimes we need to do those things before we become mothers. It is a very personal decision. I would never have a baby because family kept asking me to have one. I think YOU need to feel it is a good time. Yes, many women can go to school while pregnant/mothers. Not everyone can. And only you and your husband can decide what is best for your situation. I know for me that I could not be a full-time working mother and go to school at night, pay daycare costs plus school expenses and have time for homework, tests etc... It would be just too much for me.
I got pregnant within 3 months at 33. I had Molly at 34. I am glad that I waited to have her. I think it worked out for the best.



I think everyone does what works best for them. If someone can work, go to school and pay for daycare then more power to them. Everyone feels different about the things they can do.

My husband and I knew we wanted to have kids but we didn't plan when. If it happened we would welcome the baby with open arms. We know we have a lot of love to give. I can understand someone wanting to wait until they are ready but you can't really decide when it will happen. You can't say I am going to have a baby at 30 what if you can't have a baby at 30? what if it happens at 31 or 32 or 33?

That's how I feel about it at least.

Message edited 4/5/2006 4:16:05 PM.

Posted 4/5/06 4:15 PM
 

MrsProfessor
hi

Member since 5/05

14279 total posts

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I'm 34 and not pg with the first one yet...I'm trying not to stress too much. I am not opposed to having one and adopting one, if it takes too long. I think it's hard to suggest a timeline to someone, everyone's situations are so different.

Posted 4/5/06 4:23 PM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

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D

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

My friend's mom remarried at the age of 50 and had twins

Posted 4/5/06 4:36 PM
 

lullabella
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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

My mom was 44 when she had my sister.

Posted 4/5/06 4:38 PM
 

dm24angel
Happiness

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Donna

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I will be 31 next month and am having difficulty TTC...its been 17 months since we started. Conceivably I will be 32 with our first If we get lucky soon.

Every one is different, it depends on your goals. if I had known we woudl have trouble, me and DH both said we would have started years ago to be able to have the family we wanted, because thats whats most important to us. We wouldnt have been fully "ready" but you never are and we wouldnt have felt so pressed against time as we kinda do now to be able to have the large ( 3 or more kids) family we wanted.

Im not finished with school myself, but right now I know I will be working for many many years but my time to have a child without worries such as infertility and risks is dwindling.

Each person has to decide for themselves....but Im no longer a proponent for waiting. Your fertility goes down significantly over age 30 as each year passes....so you have to weigh your goals with what you want very carefully and make teh best decision for you.

Posted 4/5/06 4:40 PM
 

bee
Secret Agent

Member since 8/06

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by Diane

My friend's mom remarried at the age of 50 and had twins



wow.

Chat Icon

Posted 4/5/06 7:03 PM
 

MommaG
Yay Spring!

Member since 5/05

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Name:
Gloria

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I had my first (and only, so far) at 37. It only took two months to conceive him and he is healthy.

Do what's right for you. If having a family is important to you, then don't let time get away from you. I think it's very rare that someone has everything in order (career, money, house, etc) before starting a family. Everything somehow falls into place.

Posted 4/5/06 7:53 PM
 

LIPrincess
Foxy Lady

Member since 6/05

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Name:
Jaimie

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I dont have any suggestions, I just wanted to say that I was 39 when we started trying and now I am 40 and still trying for my first.

Posted 4/5/06 8:33 PM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by dm24angel
Each person has to decide for themselves....but Im no longer a proponent for waiting. Your fertility goes down significantly over age 30 as each year passes....so you have to weigh your goals with what you want very carefully and make teh best decision for you.




I agree completely. Is it possible that you could be the one who in their 40s or 50s having children? Yes it is. Is it likely? You never know.

My best friend went through five years of infertility starting at the age of 25. After 2 years of medical intervention, miscarriages & heartache, she adopted her daughter. I would say if having children without medical intervention or having your own biological child is important to you, then waiting isn't a great idea.

Posted 4/5/06 9:16 PM
 

Charly
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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I'm 33 now and if all goes well with this pregnancy I'll be 34 when I give birth. I hope to have a 2nd and will probably try shortly after the 1st.

Posted 4/5/06 9:19 PM
 

pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1

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Catherine

Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I think only you can decide what is right for you. I can tell you I personally would never have been able to finish school if I were a mother at the time. I know myself and I would have always wanted to be spending my time raising my children rather than reading, studying and doing papers.

When I was 22 I had things all planned out -- I was going to get married to the man I was dating (and had been for 4 years) and we would start having children when I was 25. Well that never happened. Instead, Mr. Four Years turned into Mr. Loser and we broke up.

I ended up starting college at 27 and finishing when I was 31. I met my husband when I was 32, we married when I was 35 and I got PG when I was 36. On the first try. Chat Icon

I also worried about being too old. I worried about fertility problems and birth defects but had no problems with anything. I kept thinking that I should have done things differently and gotten married earlier and had children earlier. But I don't regret my life now. I can provide for my children better now than I could before and I am married to a wonderful man. I completed everything I needed to in order to be satisfied with myself. These weren't conscious choices I made, they just happened that way.

My sister is a maternity nurse and she said she sees plenty of women having babies in their mid and late 30s with no problems. You also have to remember that although your risk of problems goes up as your age does, that doesn't mean that there are no risks when younger. Bottom line? You have to do what feels right for you and your life at the time. Everything else will work itself out.

Posted 4/5/06 10:29 PM
 

Pumpkin
LIF Adult

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

Posted by pharmcat2000

I think only you can decide what is right for you. I can tell you I personally would never have been able to finish school if I were a mother at the time. I know myself and I would have always wanted to be spending my time raising my children rather than reading, studying and doing papers.

When I was 22 I had things all planned out -- I was going to get married to the man I was dating (and had been for 4 years) and we would start having children when I was 25. Well that never happened. Instead, Mr. Four Years turned into Mr. Loser and we broke up.

I ended up starting college at 27 and finishing when I was 31. I met my husband when I was 32, we married when I was 35 and I got PG when I was 36. On the first try. Chat Icon

I also worried about being too old. I worried about fertility problems and birth defects but had no problems with anything. I kept thinking that I should have done things differently and gotten married earlier and had children earlier. But I don't regret my life now. I can provide for my children better now than I could before and I am married to a wonderful man. I completed everything I needed to in order to be satisfied with myself. These weren't conscious choices I made, they just happened that way.

My sister is a maternity nurse and she said she sees plenty of women having babies in their mid and late 30s with no problems. You also have to remember that although your risk of problems goes up as your age does, that doesn't mean that there are no risks when younger. Bottom line? You have to do what feels right for you and your life at the time. Everything else will work itself out.



Very well said. I am in the same boat almost as you. I will not be finished with all my schooling for 3 more yrs at least, making me 31. I often feel like if I keep waiting what will happen. However I am so stressed and so tired right now from working full time and going to school full time I would have no time and no patience or engergy to me a mom. DH would love to have children in another year but he understand for us its just not the right time. It is a personal decision but just remember it alot to put on your plate. Good luck!

Posted 4/6/06 6:47 AM
 

JRG71
*****************

Member since 5/05

5025 total posts

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Re: What age would be too old to have a baby?

I'm 35 - Just had my first... Like PP have said - It's a personal decision. I wish you the best of luck!!! Chat Icon

Posted 4/6/06 8:21 AM
 
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