Working Mom vs Stay at Home mom

Any body have friends on the other end of the spectrum that just Don't understand?

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I am really the only one of my friends who is a mom at all. My sister is a SAHM who works part time and my mom was a SAHM when we grew up and my MIL was always a SAHM so its pretty much the norm in my family.

Message edited 5/11/2005 7:48:25 PM.

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I have a friend who makes snide comments that I am a SAHM.

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My dream is to be a SAHM and so many people have negative things to say to me about it. Commonly everyone tells me to go find another job if I am not happy at my current one. But I like my job. I am in no way looking to be a SAHM because I don't like my work situation.

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my dream would be to work part time
But i can't do that..

i have friends on both sides and my SAHF is the most judgemental actually...

she thinks it is wrong to have your child raised by someone else

BUT since talking about TTC she is coming around actually

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I don't think that a lot of people understand until you atually go throught it.
I love taking care of my daughter but it has definitely been a hard adjustment to make since I have always been so independent.
It's not an easy task, I would love to continue to be but I'm not sure for how long since it's been tight with only one person working.

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I'm not sure about being a sahm but I would love to work p/t. However, with housing prices the way that they are it just doesn't seem possible.

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I heard on the radio the other day that a SAHM's job totals about $143,000 a year!

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I would LOVE to be a SAHM, but I'm just not sure if it's an option.

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I've heard both sides of it.... when you're PG, people always ask - "So, are you going to come back to work or stay at home?"

When I tell people that of course I'm coming back to work, I get both kinds of reactions. I get the people who say "oh good" and mean it and then there's the people that say "Oh, that's too bad that you can't afford to stay home" which REALLY pisses me off because why do people immediately assume that if you don't want to stay home it's because you can't afford to??

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I plan on working p/t when we decide to have children.
I can understand both extremes. I would not want a stranger raising my children, but I wouldn't want to be trapped inside the house all day either. Working p/t sounds like a good compromise for me.

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I would love to me a SAHM but it isn't possible right now. Myy sister has no choice but to be a SAHM because her son has alot of medical stuff that they are still working through....she tells me that I am lucky that I get to get out of the house...especially in the winter months. But Honestly I wouldn't work if I didn;t have my mom to watch the little guy....We went to through too much with our baby to leave him with just anyone...he still needs some special care and right now I only trust certian people to give that to him.

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Most people don't comment on me being a SAHM. I have one friend who is a SAHM who works part time and she is constantly trying to get me to find a PT job. But her mom takes care of her son while she's at work, my mom works full time, so it's just not a option.

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I would love to be a SAHM but it's not in the budget! My best friend is a SAHM and loves it. But we always fight about which job is harder.

I think that being a SAHM is harder in its own way and there is obviously responsibility involved, but I definitely feel like I have more stress and pressure than she does. She just says that "I'll see when I have kids" but I still think it would be better to be a SAHM than to work out of the house full time, with a boss, deadlines, etc.

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I am a SAHM and I love it. Some days are hard don't get me wrong but I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I get a lot of garbage from people about it though like I don't "work". Believe me I do. It's like they think I stay home and watch TV all day. Do a lot of you get that or just me?

I don't think it's wrong of mother's to work at all. Everyone does what they need or want to do but I just really wish they would also respect my choiceas well.

Re: Working Mom vs Stay at Home mom

Posted by dawn0717

I am a SAHM and I love it. Some days are hard don't get me wrong but I wouldn't give it up for anything.

I get a lot of garbage from people about it though like I don't "work". Believe me I do. It's like they think I stay home and watch TV all day. Do a lot of you get that or just me?

I don't think it's wrong of mother's to work at all. Everyone does what they need or want to do but I just really wish they would also respect my choiceas well.

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I really think it's a personal choice for each family. Like some of you have said, $$ is a deciding issue. I have friends on both sides and I see from my friends that the SAHMs are more into family life, making sacrifices while some of the working moms I know are doing it to continue their lifestyle (2 cars, vacations, Louis Vuitton bags, etc) or to continue their careers.

My personal choice is to be a SAHM, I hope that when that day comes DH and I are in a position to make it happen.

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My husband says he would work 3 jobs so that I could be a SAHM, he knows how important is is to me. Most of my friends who have children are SAHM.

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Here's the actual artical:

Mothers' work seen valued at over $130,000 a year

Reuters
NEW YORK - The old adage that “a mother's work is never done” remains as true now as ever. Today's stay-at-home moms are learning what their predecessors always knew — they'd be making a lot of money doing their job outside the home.

Just in time for Mother's Day, an informal study conducted by Web site Salary.com shows that stay-at-home moms would earn an average of $131,471 annually, including overtime, if they received a paycheck.

A sampling of the 5.4 million stay-at-home mothers were asked to come up with job titles that fit a general description of their daily routines.

The titles — which reflected the most time-consuming parts of their day — include day-care center teacher, van driver, housekeeper, cook, chief executive officer, nurse and general maintenance worker, the survey showed.

Of course, a stay-at-home parent does not work typical office hours. The hypothetical median salary is based on a 100-hour work week and assumes caring for at least two children of school age.

“The importance of this calculation or this estimate is just calling attention to the fact that being a stay-at-home mom is not a cop out, it's not the woman's way out of the work force and it's not a job of no value,” said Bill Coleman, senior vice president of compensation at Salary.com. “There is a lot of value there, and some would say it's even priceless.”

Salary.com, which tracks what jobs pay, suggested that the annual base pay for a 40-hour stay-at-home mom's workweek would be $43,461. Mothers would earn an additional $88,009 a year for 60 hours of overtime each week.

“I think I should definitely make that much,” said Joanna Butti, who stays at home to care for her twin boys. “It's a hard job.”

Coleman said feedback on the figure was mixed. Some felt mothers deserved more, some less. In general, though, many were pleased to see a figure above $100,000.

“Stay-at-home moms are enthusiastic and upbeat about their jobs, they didn't seem to need external validation,” Coleman told Reuters. “They were also happy that they were getting attention, and that somebody was out there telling the world that what they do is valuable, and perhaps more valuable than one would expect.”

Mothers said you cannot attach a figure to the time spent with their kids.

“I'm giving 150 percent of myself to them many hours a day,” said Debra Miley, who stays home with two-year old daughter Olivia and four-month old son Gregory. “You cannot attach a dollar value to the time that you spend nurturing your child if you're lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom.”

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I stay home with my son and I am happy with my choice..I do work part time at an after school program and my mom watches my son at her house for 3 hrs Thurs and Friday...It gives me a chance to get out a little.I also tutor one night a week

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I stay at home with my 2 kids. I went back to work for a little while when my son was younger, but with the cost of day care, and the separation from my son just wasn't worth it.
It makes me mad when people say ' I don't work'!! I do, I may not have a paycheck or a job outside the home, but my job is VERY important!