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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by princess99
My SIL told me in her half drunken state on her wedding day, mind u it was 4 AM and I was up that morning from 5:30 AM becuase I had to work, what is the matter, did you not have a life in your 20's?!?!?! Why are u so tired. I was FLOORED. You are the only ones I have shared this with besides my Dh and BIL who could not believe what she said. She has no idea what it is like to be a Motherless daughter- she still has her Mom and grandmother. I am still not over this comment even though she wanted to sweep it under the rug, one day I am afraid I am just going to go o ff on her. I am so hurt by it. I spent my later teens and early 20's helping taking my Mom for chemo etc. While I was in college, and then after that my dad got sick. If I had to do it all over again, i would have done the same thing, been there for them no matter what.I do not feel like I was jipped of going out all night to clubs, etc. That was not my thing..... I get angry 6 months later this was said to me and now that my MIL passed and we are cleaning out her house, she has NO CLUE still what it is like to lose a Mom or someone who was like a Mom .  
I'm sorry she said something like that to you. It is soo true that you can not understand until you've gone through it.
I don't think I've had anyone say anything really stupid to me like that, though people did say stuff they thought would make me feel better, and mostly it just pi$$ed me off, but I tried to remember that those people meant well.
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Posted 5/2/06 4:29 PM  |
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dmc
LIF Infant
Member since 4/06 133 total posts
Name:
DANIELLE 'D&D'
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
I meant to post this yesterday but I would love to join you girls.....I agreee mother's day can be the worst 
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:28 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
does the date i suggested work for you?
if it does- let's pick a place
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:30 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by nrthshgrl
I know there are a lot of you on this board and everytime I read "I lost my mom to cancer" or "my mom died when I was young", I literally hold my breath at the thought of it.
I just wanted to say that I can't imagine how hard Mother's Day would be without my mom. This Mother's Day I will give my mom an extra hug because of you. I cherish my mom & she knows it.
I'm sure that your moms are smiling down on you - and without a doubt know that they are thought about and loved by each and every one of you.
Thank you so much for this My Mom was the most important person in my life and here I am 5 years later and it still feels like it was yesterday.
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:37 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by Blazesyth
Thanks - my mother died of cancer 10 years ago on 1/1/06. I always take her actual day of death harder than Mothers day, but it is still difficult.
What is hardest is having to 'celebrate' with the MIL.. how do you guys deal with that? In the back of my brain I feel that my husband and his mother just think it is time for me to get over it.. of course, they dont have any idea what it's like.
Wow! It IS very hard! A couple years ago on Mother's Day I didnt' feel like going to brunch with DH's family for his Mother. He was totally supportive and understood. He wanted to stay home with me, but I just needed my time alone to remember. Well...I get a phone call from her asking me why I didn't go..in the middle of the brunch! I explained and she hung up. The following week we went over for lunch and she started crying at the table saying I hurt her feelings for not coming to brunch! ***!!! From that day on I lost complete and total respect for that woman!
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:41 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by princess99
Posted by stardiva80
... my sister and BIL walked me down the aisle. Instead of throwing my throw away bouquet, put it at my parents grave with a note.
I had both of my brothers walk me down, in the place of my mom and dad, and I left the bouquet at their grave too. I felt like in that small way, they were included in the happiness I felt on my wedding day
Maybe this is of no comfort, but for those whose mom's died while they were planning your weddings or soon after - it's nice that she got to meet your DH and know him, even if for a short time. My DH never met either of my parents, and I never met his. Both sets of parents were gone before we met and it cna be very strange sometimes. If we have children, they will have no grandparents and I can't imagine how hard it is to have a baby without your mom around. I have friends who have done it, so at least I can take comfort in the fact that I will have some support if and when that time comes.
Message edited 5/3/2006 11:47:04 AM.
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:46 AM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by lorich
Posted by Blazesyth
Thanks - my mother died of cancer 10 years ago on 1/1/06. I always take her actual day of death harder than Mothers day, but it is still difficult.
What is hardest is having to 'celebrate' with the MIL.. how do you guys deal with that? In the back of my brain I feel that my husband and his mother just think it is time for me to get over it.. of course, they dont have any idea what it's like.
Wow! It IS very hard! A couple years ago on Mother's Day I didnt' feel like going to brunch with DH's family for his Mother. He was totally supportive and understood. He wanted to stay home with me, but I just needed my time alone to remember. Well...I get a phone call from her asking me why I didn't go..in the middle of the brunch! I explained and she hung up. The following week we went over for lunch and she started crying at the table saying I hurt her feelings for not coming to brunch! ***!!! From that day on I lost complete and total respect for that woman!
OMG - what a wench!!!! Who does that??!!!!
My first one I spent with my dad - I wanted to be with him, but not just for him, for me too. And it was such a hard day!!
But, I think since then, I've celebrated with DH family (except this year b/c we planned a trip over that weekend- and I feel bad about it). It is hard sometimes, and I do get sad, but I it is ok - for me. If it's not for you - then you shouldn't have to put yourself through that, just b/c your MIL has issues. My MIL is a very sweet and compassionate woman, and I'm not entirely sure how she'd feel if I skipped out on it every year, but even if it made her sad, I'm certain she would understand, or at least not make me feel like I was a bad person for it.
to you and I'm sorry your MIL acts like that!!!
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:50 AM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by oneday
OMG - what a wench!!!! Who does that??!!!!
My first one I spent with my dad - I wanted to be with him, but not just for him, for me too. And it was such a hard day!!
But, I think since then, I've celebrated with DH family (except this year b/c we planned a trip over that weekend- and I feel bad about it). It is hard sometimes, and I do get sad, but I it is ok - for me. If it's not for you - then you shouldn't have to put yourself through that, just b/c your MIL has issues. My MIL is a very sweet and compassionate woman, and I'm not entirely sure how she'd feel if I skipped out on it every year, but even if it made her sad, I'm certain she would understand, or at least not make me feel like I was a bad person for it.
to you and I'm sorry your MIL acts like that!!!
That's the thing too. The year before I went..it just happened to hit me harder that particular year. The thing that really gets me is one of her Daughters doesn't even go...she can't "find the time" to meet her for brunch any year.
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| Posted 5/3/06 11:56 AM |
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dmc
LIF Infant
Member since 4/06 133 total posts
Name:
DANIELLE 'D&D'
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by Beth1210
does the date i suggested work for you?
if it does- let's pick a place
May 23rd right? Yeah that is fine w/ me. I think someone suggested either near Rossevelt Field or Walt Whitman.....either of those is fine w/ me....I work in Lake Success and live in Huntington so either one is very convenient.
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| Posted 5/3/06 12:07 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by dmc
Posted by Beth1210
does the date i suggested work for you?
if it does- let's pick a place
May 23rd right? Yeah that is fine w/ me. I think someone suggested either near Rossevelt Field or Walt Whitman.....either of those is fine w/ me....I work in Lake Success and live in Huntington so either one is very convenient.
great
is by the WW Mall good for everyone? I know one girl is coming from far out east right?
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| Posted 5/3/06 12:09 PM |
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dmc
LIF Infant
Member since 4/06 133 total posts
Name:
DANIELLE 'D&D'
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Okay...so what time is good for everyone.....I get out of work about 5:30 and then have about 45 min of driving.
Message edited 5/3/2006 12:37:14 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/06 12:35 PM |
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CAJ
woulda, coulda, shoulda
Member since 12/05 3366 total posts
Name:
CJ
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Thank You all for thinking of us...sometimes things seem unfair and lonely with our Moms but Thank You all Again...
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| Posted 5/3/06 12:46 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by dmc
Okay...so what time is good for everyone.....I get out of work about 5:30 and then have about 45 min of driving.
I work in westbury and I am done around 5- 5:30pm also
6:30pm???
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| Posted 5/3/06 3:31 PM |
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stardiva80
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 117 total posts
Name:
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
6:30 is good for me too.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:21 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
this will be the 3rd mothersday spent at the cemetary instead of planting flowers with my mom- Its still really hard but this year I have my baby to celebrate and it has halped tremdously.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:28 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by kathleeng
Posted by stardiva80
i'm not sure how to handle the MIL thing. I kinda want to just hide but i feel like i can't do that to my dh. i know it will be hard esp. bc his sister will be there with her 2 babies and i cant help feeling jealous.
I feel like this frequently as well. Our kids will only know his mom. Although it is a wonderful thing for both his mom and our kids, I can't help but to feel jealous that my mom was robbed of the "grandma" role.
I feel the EXACT same way.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:32 PM |
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dmc
LIF Infant
Member since 4/06 133 total posts
Name:
DANIELLE 'D&D'
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
6:30 is good for me too.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:34 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
ok so tuesday 5/23 at 6:30pm
by walt whitman mall? what is over there?
and let's make a list of who is going
sign your Name
Beth1210
stardiva80
dmc
Message edited 5/3/2006 4:37:02 PM.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:36 PM |
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lorich
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Member since 6/05 9987 total posts
Name:
Grammie says "Lora Gina"
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
I can't make it out there that day, but will be thinking of all of you.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:37 PM |
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antoinette
boy mamma
Member since 5/05 2975 total posts
Name:
Antoinette
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by oneday
Posted by Beth1210
Posted by stardiva80
I lost my mom 2 months after my wedding, so it's been hard dealing with having the best and worst year of your life.
this I can relate too- my DH asked me to marry him the day my Mom died- b/c he wanted her to know- very sweet- but very sad
My mom had been sick in the hospital since Sept. 2000 when DH asked me to marry him on Halloween. I had hoped (and I think maybe DH did too - and that was why he did it when he did) that when she found we had a wedding to plan, maybe that would be the "push" to get better. But, though she would have some improvements here and there, she would decline again. When I was showing her pics of dresses one day, she said something about how my godmother might have to help me - but I told her, no, SHE would have to get well so she could help. It never happened and she passed away the day before my 28th BD in April 2001. I had told DH if she didn't make it, I couldn't get married, but eventually, I started making plans the next year. It was soo hard to plan without her. And I felt so jipped!! But I was so glad that she knew we were getting married - but I also feel guilty that we waited so long and she couldn't be there.
I feel your pain on this too! My mom passeed away a few months after I got married- I changed my wedding date for her to be there- the wedding was awesome and extremely emotional but she was able to have a great time despite being really sick. After the wedding her health slowly deteriorated she held on for the wedding though.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:37 PM |
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kathleeng
Member since 5/05 3775 total posts
Name:
Kathleen
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
I wish I could go but I work in Manhattan and live in Brooklyn. I would never be there in time.
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:37 PM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Posted by kathleeng
I wish I could go but I work in Manhattan and live in Brooklyn. I would never be there in time.
what time would work for you? I don't want to leave anyone out-
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| Posted 5/3/06 4:56 PM |
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stardiva80
LIF Infant
Member since 11/05 117 total posts
Name:
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
Would it be easier for you to meet near roosevelt field?
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| Posted 5/3/06 5:06 PM |
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oneday
<3
Member since 5/05 4319 total posts
Name:
Pam
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
I could probably do 6:30. But, if Roosevelt field works better for more people, I could try to do that - though that would be easier for me on a weekend (but I know weekend - esp this time of year are pretty hard for everyone.) But I don't want no one else to be able to make it b/c I live out in East bumf*ck.
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| Posted 5/3/06 10:36 PM |
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Mushpot
LIF Adolescent
Member since 2/06 846 total posts
Name:
Traci
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Re: Motherless Mother's Days
My heart goes out to all of you who have lost your moms due to illness or old age.
I too have lost my mom, but to ignorance, nothing more, nothing less. She is still alive, but we don't speak. It's been 5 yrs of silence.
to all of you who mourn the loss of your moms. I too mourn but in a different way!
Lots of love to all of you!!!
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| Posted 5/3/06 10:56 PM |
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