I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

Still No Call!!!!!!!!!!!



Updated at bottom of thread

Message edited 3/20/2006 5:51:12 PM.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

WHAT!?

dosen't the social worker know how stressed out we get, anxious, excited...oh wait, the SW is a MAN! I am so sorry you have to wait. Our SW offered us the afternoon apt., and I tried for an evening, and she said if we wanted an evening we'd have to wait until April, of course, I grabbed the appt...I wasn't waiting until april.

Hang in there, he'll call!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

THANK YOU! I said the SAME EXACT THING! I said to Joe, "Why am I not surprised? This would so not be happening if our SW wasn't male." And he got SO ******. It's so unlike me to say something like that but you KNOW it's true! Even if he called and said, "You know what? I don't have time to meet with you today, tomorrow, next week or ever for that matter, but I wanted you to know that I'm still trying to fit you into my schedule" I'd be happier than I am now. He PROMISED he'd call this week and Joe took the whole week off! We were convinced we were going to meet with him this week. Now next week, I have evening meetings for work every night, until VERY late and I can't miss them!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Joe took the entire week off? OHMYGOSH!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Susan,

I would be beyond ticked. Give NB a call and ask if another SW can be assigned.

Jenn

Let us know the outcome.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

I would not accept this type of treatment. I would call your agency and complain. This has been put off long enough..vacation or not. They should assign someone who can actually DO the homestudy for you in a timely manner.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Joe left a message at the guy's house earlier today and basically apologized for "harassing" him but said we'd really like to hear from him even if he doesn't have time to meet with us. No call. We're so afraid to complain bc we feel it will make things worse and jeoparidize our homestudy. The guy has had our names since 2/4 and has nobody else on his caseload. Meanwhile, we finished the nursery already and I'm getting chest pains now.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Call NB and find out what and why the hold up and that you want to move forward with a SW that you will now feel confident/comfortable/trust, etc., since this SW is not responding or following up and you do not feel comfortable with him and his abilities (whatever the word is) to even consider moving forward w/ him.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

You should NOT be worried about complaining. This is supposed to be your Social Worker..he is supposed to be helping you get your homestudy done. It has been over 1 month! Again, my concern is that you will waste months on this guy and then the agency might say "why didn't you call us". Call. You are paying these people...they are supposed to do a job for you.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Just out of curiosity, how long did all of you wait for your SW to call you after you submitted your paperwork? Was it almost two months?

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Susan,

You really need to lay down the law with NB. You are paying them good money to facilitate your adoption and this is definately unexceptable. There is no way that they can tell you that you had to wait for this one social worker. As long as the social worker is licensed in NY and is familiar with international adoptions and international requirements they can do the homestudy. I can't even imagine the frustration you are going through. I would call them every hour on the hour until I had an appointment.

And to answer the question, we waited about about 2 days after our paperwork to get a call from our social worker and our first meeting was about 10 days later, due to scheduling conflicts.

Good luck

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Awww Sue, this is ridiculous... you're paying them egregious amounts of money, and there's no reason on earth why this part of the process should be giving you chest pains. I think it might be time to call NB to ask for a new SW... they probably have no clue that this guy is such a slacker and would rather know. I doubt you'll be viewed as a "complainer" or harasser... if anything, it will show what a good mommy and daddy you will be by staying on top of everything and not letting anyone get in the way of having your little baby

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Within 1 week of submitting my paperwork I had a call from my Social Worker (who works for the agency) and our first appt was the week after that. I had my completed homestudy within 2 months time frame.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

I dont remember how long it took for our SW to call, but I dont remember it being a long time. We only had one visit. It took her about 2 weeks to get the report pulled together.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Too Bad my emails from NB go unanswered as well. Still no call. I'm going to call NB on Monday. I'm thoroughly upset and ****** off at this point. This is worse than infertility. Like five years of not being able to have a child isn't torture enough. Maybe I'm just not meant to be a mother. I'm just better with kids than anyone I know and have always been happiest when around kids. I've been babysitting, volunteering with children and caring for every other person's child for my whole life and all I want is my own. Is that too much to ask for? Sorry for the rant.

Message edited 3/17/2006 7:55:14 PM.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

I think it may be time to move to a new agency. On the adoption boards that happens often. Where are you adopting from again? You can call Wide Horizons, my agency if it is China, Korea, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Russia, and a few other countries. I had no issues like this at all. Just remember that this is BEFORE you are really invested with them..how will you be treated once they have the majority of your money? Don't stand for this treatment. You deserve to be on your way to motherhood, not in the middle of this crap.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day!

Sorry, I was just really upset last night. I'm not switching agencies at this point. I've been very satisfied up until this point. I'm going to call the agency on Monday to alert them to the situation and see what happens from there. Thank you all for your support and advice. I really appreciate it.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update!

Joe called the Executive Director of NB today. He was very shocked to hear that we hadn't yet heard from our SW and said that we should have quite some time ago. He red-flagged our file and said we will hear from someone within 48 hours, if not the SW that was originally assigned to us then someone else. He said if we don't hear from anyone in 48 hours, to call him directly.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

Hey Susan,

What is your date of contract? Ours is 10/10/05. We had our homestudy on 12/27/05 and our fingerprints (Livescan) on 2/14/06. Our paperwork is complete and has been sent to Spence Chapin (3/13/06). We are going through SWS. Are you going through SWS or Eastern? Just wanted to know because maybe you're not really that far behind?? I hate to hear you so upset!

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

Also, have you been calling Cathy D directly? She is not returning your calls?? I just find that so odd because she is usually so good getting back to people quickly....?? I feel bad you're stressing....

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

Liz,

It's more a question of how long it took your SW to contact you once NB had all of your paperwork in hand rathar than when you sent the contracts in. Everyone works at different paces with their paperwork and I made it a point to complete mine at lightning speed so that we could get our HS appt sooner. We received a letter from NB on about 2/5 stating that we'd hear from a SW from 2 weeks - a month and it's been over a month. We called a couple of weeks ago to inform NB that the SW had not yet called and they told us that he has had our names since 2/4 and has nobody else on his caseload so he should have contacted us over a month ago. They called him to find out what happened and he said he had been and still was on vacation. He called us from his cell while on vacation and said he was going to return back to Queens (we're in Suffolk) in two days and said he'd call us early the following week to set a meeting up to meet with us that week. He told us he'd make up for all of the lost time by meeting with us quickly and writing our homestudies up within 5-10 days after that. Well, we waited a week and a half for him to call and he didn't, so Joe called his house and apologized for being so needy but explained that we were just excited to be parents, and he still didn't call back. Joe called NB and nobody was available to speak to him but they promised a call back. Hours passed and Joe got ticked and asked to speak directly to Tim. Tim was happy he asked to speak to him bc he agreed that it should not have gone this long and he red-flagged our file and said if we didn't hear from a SW within 48 hours, to call HIM back directly, not Cathy. We're also using SWS.

Susan

Message edited 3/22/2006 9:56:29 AM.

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

Hey Susan,

Wow, that is absolutely ridiculous!!! It's not bad enough that the entire process is just WAITING and more waiting, but to have to deal with your SW on vacation and delays in responses.... oh no I would lose my mind!

Well I according to your SW you should hear something today if you haven't already. Good luck!!

And don't ever feel like you're annoying them or nagging.... you are paying very good money, you deserve to have all of your questions and concerns handled in a timely fashion.

Liz

Re: I Can't Wait Another Day! - Update

This SW sounds like an irresponsible, unorganzied person. I am glad you have a director at your agency involved.
Keep us up to date!