Re: Personal question...

I'm sorry that you are having these problems.
And I find it even mean that someone can bash you on LIW for posting your feelings....very mean people
Since you said you are both having financial problems, it might be hard to go out for dinner or for drinks. But you can always make a nice dinner at home, and make it a candlelight dinner for you and him. Maybe that night your In-Laws can babysit for you and stay with the kids. And you can cook your favorite meal for both of you, play some nice music on the background....bubble baths always do wonders when you are together in the tub
(This is just a suggestion)
I always think that it doesn't matter "where" you are or how you are dressed as long as you are with the one person you care the most. Perhaps this will entice for things to get better and bring the spark that you are wishing for.
Wishing you the best and sending you

Re: Personal question...

sorry you are going thru all that. Why does he work 2 jobs? are you a SAHM? Is it possible for you to work PT and then him one job? could that be a point of contention w/ him maybe? he resents working two jobs?

I hope a good friend or relative gives you a nite you can go out and have quiet time and maybe discuss things

Re: Personal question...

I don't have anything to add to the great advice you have already received but I wanted to say I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I hope you find a way to enjoy your anniversary - it sounds like you both deserve a great day!

Re: Personal question...

How are you doing?

Re: Personal question...

Sorry you are going through this. I hope this helps...

My DH and I had our first two years of marriage be nothing but hardship and crazy family situations. It almost tore us apart. Then after talking with his Nana (who is 86 years young and is very close to me) I realized that I need to change my attitude about marriage and our relationship. Nana told me that marriage and love are a decision, not a feeling. She also said that respect and friendship for your husband will lead you through the tough times. I guess we came off of this "high" after we had our dream wedding and I was all pollyanna about marriage and love. I could not understand that marriage (like anything worth while in life) is hard work, but it is worth the work you put into it. Plus that fact the my mom trated my dad like crap their entire marriage was not a good example for me to see and I was "turning into my mother" so to speak when I was frustrated. Nana reminded me "in good times and bad, sickness and health..." I did not take vows that said when things are tough, I would bail out. I had to keep reminding myself that. You know the more it thought about what Nana said to me, the more I thought I could change things.
So, that night I wrote my DH a letter, and baked cookies for him (at the time he was working two jobs and going to school after being laid off) and left the letter next to the cookies and went to bed. The letter was the vows we took at our wedding ( I watched our video and wrote them down word for word) then I wrote "I meant these words then, and I mean them now. I love and respect you for working so hard for our family". The next day I had lit candles all around the apartment right before he came home from work and jumped him. (Sorry TMI) . I also prayed daily.
I had to learn that men need your respect more than your love. I know it is foreign to us, but it is true for my DH. When men feel truly respect for who they are, not what they are or what society says they should be, they feel truly loved. I usually don't share anything this personal, but I felt it might help you or give you hope. I will be praying for you and your DH. You will get through this.

Re: Personal question...

You can try what my husband and I do- we are newly weds and both work two jobs each, and a daughter. My husband and I will either make lunch dates with each other, IM each other, Email each other. Its fun and it breaks up the boring, same old same old. Tell each other to meet someplace and what you are wearing, do the bring a flower thing and even go for a hot dog date. You get to learn about each other without pressure, most importantly try talking about things like nuetral territory even if it means a movie or the weather- you will learn alot about the person you thought you knew very well.
GOOD LUCK!

Re: Personal question...

Posted by dandr10199

I had to learn that men need your respect more than your love. I know it is foreign to us, but it is true for my DH. When men feel truly respect for who they are, not what they are or what society says they should be, they feel truly loved. I usually don't share anything this personal, but I felt it might help you or give you hope. I will be praying for you and your DH. You will get through this.

Re: Personal question...

I'm sorry to hear that things are rough for you and DH right now. But you should never be afraid to use us to vent, sometimes that's all you need, is a neutral shoulder to "cry" on . When I was getting married I would go on LI Weddings and although you can get a lot of useful info from all the ladies on that sight for weddings, some times (not all the time) they could really turn on a girl.

I've only been a on this site for a day, but over the past months I have read a bunch of posts, and everyone seems very helpful and nice. So don't be afraid to vent if you need it.

Good luck to you and DH, I hope that things get better. Don't lose faith in each other, remember you love each other and although times can be rough you can get through it together. I would definalty try to put time aside during the week for each other. Try making a nice home cooked meal together and then enjoying on a comfy couch, while watching a great movie, it a great way to have fun together, and no doubt you'll talk a lot!

Re: Personal question...

Im so sorry..I dont have much advice because I didnt even make it two years with my husband , I just wanted to give you hugs!!!