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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Another LIW post
i sent everyone a thank you
if there was no gift, i worded the card differently
instead of "thank you for your generous gift"
it would be "thank you for sharing our special day"
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Posted 7/6/06 10:05 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by mrswask
I'm sorry - the part I still don't understand, or agree with, is when you people post about how you have to "at least" cover your plate.
Ummm - why the heck should I subsidize your wedding because you decided to spend a ton of money - that's not your guests problem, that's yours!! What you give should be dictated by your relationship with the couple and by what you can afford.
If my best friend got married in her backyard, she'd get more than a casual acquaintance who had a $150 a plate wedding.
I couldn't agree more with this statement. Cover my plate???? How the heck do I even know what the plate costs? If the wedding is at Oheka, does that mean I have to cover the $250 a plate plus my share of the $10,000 site fee?
If I invite you to a party, wedding or not, I DO NOT expect people to bring something.
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:10 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Another LIW post
I just read that whole thing- all I can say is WOW
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:11 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i sent everyone a thank you
if there was no gift, i worded the card differently
instead of "thank you for your generous gift"
it would be "thank you for sharing our special day"
This is exactly what we did. We had a few non-gifters.
But then again, we didn't invite every single person in our neighborhood. Just close friends and family and we only had 90 people....so if someone didn't give a gift I knew it was because they couldn't.
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:12 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Redhead
sorry....
IMO a TY is for comming to the wedding NOT for a gift 
EXACTLY...I think its very rude to NOT send a TY if someone did attend and did not give you a gift...
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:15 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Another LIW post
I find it ironic for those that are adamant about never expecting a gift (or a card,) are also ones that remember EXACTLY how many guests "stiffed" them.
I know it's a small number, but to stick out in your head for this long....obviously there was some disappointment.
disclosure: not directed at anyone in particular...just a general observation
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:16 AM |
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Beth
The Key to your new home....
Member since 2/06 24849 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Another LIW post
I don't by the I didn't expect a gift thing either
I am not going to lie- I did expect everyone to bring something b/c I always do- but the few that didn't- I understand couldn't and I would never want some one to not be able to pay their bills b/c of my wedding- I still sent them a thank you card
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:18 AM |
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pmpkn087
Life is good...
Member since 9/05 18504 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by mrswask
Jeez - I hope some of them don't come over!!!
I just read the whole thing. The sad part is that some of them DID come over here.
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:21 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Beaver2be
Posted by Redhead
sorry....
IMO a TY is for comming to the wedding NOT for a gift
EXACTLY...I think its very rude to NOT send a TY if someone did attend and did not give you a gift...
Well my feeling is that I find it beyond rude to go to a wedding and not even buy a 99 cent card to say congrats to the couple.
I got a card from someone with no gift and sent them a TY (they came from out of town), but the ones who gave nothing to me don't deserve my time and energy to be polite and send a TY for coming to my wedding. In my eyes they came to the wedding to enjoy themselves more then caring to spend the day with me and DH. (At least that is my feeling for the stiffers at my wedding).
It's a personal choice in the end. But I in no way think it is rude that I didn't send a TY to someone who didn't even have the common decency to say congrats to me and my DH. And seriously these same people who find it okay to do that, i don't think are sitting around saying gosh i think it is so rude of so and so not to send me a TY for coming to their wedding.
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:31 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i sent everyone a thank you
if there was no gift, i worded the card differently
instead of "thank you for your generous gift"
it would be "thank you for sharing our special day"
Thats exactly what we did. I wanted people to know that I appreciated thier effort in coming out and sharing our day. I honestly don't see what the big deal is though. People get crazy with this crap
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:34 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Ali1
Posted by Beaver2be
Posted by Redhead
sorry....
IMO a TY is for comming to the wedding NOT for a gift
EXACTLY...I think its very rude to NOT send a TY if someone did attend and did not give you a gift...
Well my feeling is that I find it beyond rude to go to a wedding and not even buy a 99 cent card to say congrats to the couple.
I got a card from someone with no gift and sent them a TY (they came from out of town), but the ones who gave nothing to me don't deserve my time and energy to be polite and send a TY for coming to my wedding. In my eyes they came to the wedding to enjoy themselves more then caring to spend the day with me and DH. (At least that is my feeling for the stiffers at my wedding).
It's a personal choice in the end. But I in no way think it is rude that I didn't send a TY to someone who didn't even have the common decency to say congrats to me and my DH. And seriously these same people who find it okay to do that, i don't think are sitting around saying gosh i think it is so rude of so and so not to send me a TY for coming to their wedding.
I'm sorry I should clarify my response - I think a Thank you card should at least be given - but a monetary gift should not be expected
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| Posted 7/6/06 10:36 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
In my opinion, a thank you card is not required for anyone that did not give a card or gift. I paid for them to eat and dance and celebrate and they get parting gifts...lol aka favors. If they chose to give me a gift then I think it's only proper to thank them for that gift. If no gift...no need to further thank them in my opinion.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:02 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Another LIW post
So if you could look into the future before your invites went out and knew that a few people were not giving a gift-would you still invite them?
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:09 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Blu-ize
So if you could look into the future before your invites went out and knew that a few people were not giving a gift-would you still invite them?
Is this for me to answer? If so, yes I would still have invited them but I would have ordered less thank you cards. 
Message edited 7/6/2006 11:12:54 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:12 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Blu-ize
So if you could look into the future before your invites went out and knew that a few people were not giving a gift-would you still invite them?
of course!! my guests were invited because we wanted them there to share our special day with us.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:13 AM |
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MrsPorkChop
Twinning!!
Member since 5/05 9941 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Ang-Rich
In my opinion, a thank you card is not required for anyone that did not give a card or gift. I paid for them to eat and dance and celebrate and they get parting gifts...lol aka favors. If they chose to give me a gift then I think it's only proper to thank them for that gift. If no gift...no need to further thank them in my opinion.
i completely agree
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:14 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Another LIW post
So if a person didn't give a gift or couldn't afford to give a gift but came to celebrate and took the time and the day to be with you, they shouldn't be ackowledged?
The thank you is all purpose IMO. Not just thanks for giving me a gift but thanks for being there.
Yes, there were people that gave nothing, heck, my weathly brother in law didn't give even card, but that's life! Do I still love him, yep..am I mad, nah..was I disappointed yes. But he and his family deserved to be thanked since they all took the time out of their lives to be with us.
We were honored.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:19 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Blu-ize
So if you could look into the future before your invites went out and knew that a few people were not giving a gift-would you still invite them?
I knew the EXACT people that I would not get a gift from, and I still invited them. They never told me they weren't giving me a gift, but I knew they just couldn't or wouldn't or whatever. And one was in my bridal party, so I can't complain because he spent a lot of money to be in our bp. I think that is gift enough.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:26 AM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by prncssrachel
Posted by Blu-ize
So if you could look into the future before your invites went out and knew that a few people were not giving a gift-would you still invite them?
I knew the EXACT people that I would not get a gift from, and I still invited them. They never told me they weren't giving me a gift, but I knew they just couldn't or wouldn't or whatever. And one was in my bridal party, so I can't complain because he spent a lot of money to be in our bp. I think that is gift enough.
I agree
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:27 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Blu-ize
So if a person didn't give a gift or couldn't afford to give a gift but came to celebrate and took the time and the day to be with you, they shouldn't be ackowledged?
The thank you is all purpose IMO. Not just thanks for giving me a gift but thanks for being there.
Yes, there were people that gave nothing, heck, my weathly brother in law didn't give even card, but that's life! Do I still love him, yep..am I mad, nah..was I disappointed yes. But he and his family deserved to be thanked since they all took the time out of their lives to be with us.
We were honored.
We all have different opinions on this and I respect all of them. For me I don't feel that you have to send a thank you card if there was no gift. It's not to be spiteful I just don't know what more there is to acknowledge because for ME I went to every guest to say hello and thanked them for coming verbally. The thank you card was an acknowledgement of the gift.
No one way is right or wrong - we all do things differently.
As far as someone not being able to afford a gift...that is a whole different story. I don't want to be made to feel like I would have looked down on that. Up to this point I have not addressed that scenario. In that case a card would have been sent to thank them for coming to share in the special day. I am not looking to make anyone feel bad. I was only addressing the situation where people came and didn't give a gift in general.
I would still invite them no matter what.
Message edited 7/6/2006 11:41:15 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:40 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
I think everyone should get a thank you card. Why start a bigger issue. Though I do not think I would go to a wedding without a gift....I dont really understand why you would attend a wedding and not give a gift but thats just me. BUT I would not punish someone by not sending a thank you for coming to my wedding.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:47 AM |
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Diva
I am what I am
Member since 12/05 2825 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Another LIW post
I had a few guests that didnt give me gifts and I still sent them TY's. I thanked them for being there and celebrating our day with us.
That being said, there are a few things mentioned in the original post that bothered me.
I picked the hall, dj, flowers and everything else based on what we could afford. I didnt expect all my guests to give me gifts nonetheless cover the cost of their plates. It was our choice on how much we wanted to pay per person and it shouldnt be expected that each guest be obligated to cover that cost.
Sometimes I think BrideBrain fogs the true meaning of the wedding. Its understandable. As long as you marry the man you love, that's all that matters. 
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:48 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Diva
I had a few guests that didnt give me gifts and I still sent them TY's. I thanked them for being there and celebrating our day with us.
That being said, there are a few things mentioned in the original post that bothered me.
I picked the hall, dj, flowers and everything else based on what we could afford. I didnt expect all my guests to give me gifts nonetheless cover the cost of their plates. It was our choice on how much we wanted to pay per person and it shouldnt be expected that each guest be obligated to cover that cost.
Sometimes I think BrideBrain fogs the true meaning of the wedding. Its understandable. As long as you marry the man you love, that's all that matters.
I think you made a valid point about paying for things that YOU and DH could afford in relation to the wedding. I think many girls go into weddings thinking people are going to give them what they paid. Reality is alot of weddings are over 30k and I believe avg for weddings of 150 people are like 15k so if its a moneymaking thing she is looking for, she should go hit the casinos (though not atlantic city ; )
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:52 AM |
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LAMGAJ28
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Member since 10/05 6039 total posts
Name:
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by Diva
I had a few guests that didnt give me gifts and I still sent them TY's. I thanked them for being there and celebrating our day with us.
That being said, there are a few things mentioned in the original post that bothered me.
I picked the hall, dj, flowers and everything else based on what we could afford. I didnt expect all my guests to give me gifts nonetheless cover the cost of their plates. It was our choice on how much we wanted to pay per person and it shouldnt be expected that each guest be obligated to cover that cost.
Sometimes I think BrideBrain fogs the true meaning of the wedding. Its understandable. As long as you marry the man you love, that's all that matters.
I couldn't agree more. I had no expectations about gifts for my wedding day. And we were so pleasantly and generously surprised....Our guests were overly generous.....even the ones that I expected not to be. But we didn't care. We chose everything according to the way we wanted it and what we were able to afford.
I had one guest that did not give me a gift but this person wasn't working so it was pretty understandable. I still sent this person a thank you. This person was there to celebrate with us and took from their time to do so and to me that matters most that all money in the whole world. I sent a thank you gift to everyone and I'd still invite everyone that I did because I invited them so that they can help us celebrate not because of the $$$. And about the card....not everyone can be so thoughtful and considerate to buy one or unfortunately have the protocol to do so...so I don't hold this against anyone. As long as the person congratulates the bride and groom in person, that's suffice in my opinion.
Message edited 7/6/2006 12:00:45 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/06 11:59 AM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Another LIW post
Posted by DebG
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
i sent everyone a thank you
if there was no gift, i worded the card differently
instead of "thank you for your generous gift"
it would be "thank you for sharing our special day"
Thats exactly what we did. I wanted people to know that I appreciated thier effort in coming out and sharing our day. I honestly don't see what the big deal is though. People get crazy with this crap
I agree with both.
I think you should thank them for sharing in your special day.
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| Posted 7/6/06 12:01 PM |
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