Hypothetical Single Mother Question

Here's a hypothetical for you:

You are a single women in your late-30's. You have no prospect of marriage & have no children. Chances of having a child are going down. With the knowledge you now have about how much you love your child, would you opt to have a biological child on your own? If you could not have a biological child, would you adopt knowing what a child brings to your life?


No doubt it would be difficult, but I would definitely opt for a child (no matter what) even if I had to do it alone. I told this to my friend in her 40's & she's going through fertility treatments now.

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

Absolutely! Men come and go but the love you feel for a child is never-ending. I don't think I would feel complete without the love of a child. So if I had to go it alone, so be it!

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

Absolutely. I made a pact with myself in my early 20's that if I wasn't married by the time I was 35 I'd have a child on my own, either biological or adopted.

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Yes I would.

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

I would - wiithout a second thought!

ETA: Good Luck to your friend!

Message edited 6/27/2006 2:04:15 PM.

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

Absolutely....the love I have for my DD is deeper than my love for anybody else in the world..yes even for my DH....Shh dont tell him

A friend of mine in her early 40's is thinking about going the sperm bank route and after I had my DD I told her she should go for it as I really think having a baby is the best thing in the world and eveyone should get the chance to experience it...

Also because DH works so much I sometimes feel like a single mom anyway as I care for her 95% of the time. It is nice to have him to vent to in the evenings but I think as long as you have some support system then there should be nothing stopping you.

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Yup, would definitely do it.

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Being that I have children of my own, I can easily answer this question 100000000% YES,

BUT, if I never had children and never knew the impact that they would have on me or what/how my life is with them, I cannot answer.

I know of some women who are very content with their lives and are okay with the fact that they will never have children but I believe that the reason for their lives being/feeling so complete is because they never had children to begin with so it's like they don't know what their missing? Does that make sense?

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Absolutely, positively! I promised myself that if I was not married by the time I was 30 that I would definitely have a child and raise him/her by myself.

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I would definately have a child on my own. I used to say that if I wasn't married by the time I was 30, I would start to look into my options.

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I would adopt but I would not choose to bear a child. I would want to bring a child in to the best possible world and regardless of how much I love that child, how could I bring in a child knowing that it will be virtually fatherless? I don't know if I see that as fair to a child. This is JMO.

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

I would go it on my own, yes. I dont see anything wrong with a single woman doing this - whether it be fertility treatments or adopting.

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Nope, unless I went the adoption route or I was taking Guardianship of friend of familys child.

By time my son is 10 my husband will have missed a grand total of 6 years of his life due to his job and to add to that we live in a great area but our closest family member is 12 hours away.

It's rough and I'm not even a single mom. I would never choose to totally do this on my own. I would just be cool "Auntie Laurie"

I love the team aspect of our family and I feel its very important for Jack to have a real Daddy even if he isn't always around, even when he isn't around he has videos of his Dad reading to him.. etc to watch and after not seeing his Dad for months I can see the HUGE impact in him when my husband comes home and they are reunited.

I feel truely blessed to have been lucky enough to have found my husband and it happen when I wasen't looking. I love my son dearly but part of that is also because he is a mini me of my Dh and I couldn't imagine not knowing the father.

I feel like there is someone for everyone if they take the time to be truely honest with themselves even if it is just for a short period of their life.

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I most definitely would. My world just wouldn't be the same without my little boy!

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Ask me tomorrow, because after the day I had today, single,no kids, no hubby is looking pretty nice.

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My cousin went through this.

She is single/never marrried/no biological children. She looked into artifical insemination about 8 years ago but doctors told her that due to her diabetes she would be risking her life by getting pregnant.

She started looking into adoption but there are only a couple of countries that will allow a single person to adopt a child. She finally got the go ahead from Guatemala and after a very long paper work process where she got pictures of her then infant son the country experienced a coup/revolution and had to start the entire process all over again. Lyuke finally made it to the US almost two years after they were matched up He was just over my house on Sunday, running through my upstairs bedrooms and raising holy heck I think she'll be 42 this year. I don't think she plans on adopting another.

ETA: Considering I didn't meet DH until I was 33 the thought of this did cross my mind, although I still had my Dad to take care of. I'm almost 36 now. Had I not met DH I would have probably looked into adoption this past year, not sure if I would have went the artifical insemination route. I think I may have been to scared to go through pregnancy alone.

Message edited 6/27/2006 6:46:18 PM.

Re: Hypothetical Single Mother Question

absolutely. My son is my world.

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I guess I'm in the minority here, but I would not. The love I have for my daughter has nothing to do with this decision. My mom was a single mother, and she did a GREAT job with us. I really don't think that I can do as good a job as her, even with the help of DH. She always put us first, and raised 4 good kids who never got into any more trouble than regular teenagers. That being said, we definately missed some things that our friends with 2 parents had. I just feel that choosing to have a child with only 1 parent would be selfish on my part. I really don't think I would be considering how it would impact him or her. I wrestled with this decision while in my late 20s and this is the decision I came to. This is just my opinion, and is not meant to put down anybody who would choose otherwise.

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If you asked me this before I had a kid I would say YES - without a doubt.

Now that I have a daughter (Who I love more than life itself) I would say...hmmm...I would need to REALLY think about it.

It's haaard work - I am not sure I could handle being a single mom by choice. Some days I count down the minutes until my husband gets home so I can have a break. On nights when she wakes 100 times for no reason it's good to have a second opinion on how to handle it, etc....

BUT if that is her choice - and she has support, and help - then why not? Either way I am sure she would be a great mom.

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I would say yes, but would probably go for the adoption route.

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I would not want to be a single mother, but I would want to be mother no matter what. If I didn't marry Scott my baby would never have been Molly so she has little to do with this discussion. I don't know if I would have adopted or went for IUI/IVF but I think at some point I would have been a mother.

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Definitely opt for a child on my own. Absolutely.

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Would definately do it...

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I would opt for a biological child on my own, no doubt.

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Since I could talk I've always stated I wanted to be a Mom. SO, yes I would do both.

I always joked with an ex that if I am not a Mom by a certain age he's getting me pregnant. no strings attached!