I am really upset...need your help UPDATE AT BOTTOM sorry-on page 2

This might belong on pet board, but I feel more comfortable here.

I have two babies, a cat, Chloe and a dog, Emma. My cat is extremely lovable and has been more so now that I am pregnant.

Emmie is such a diva. She is very moody and let's you know how she is feeling. I baby her a lot and think of her as my baby. If someone calls her a dog, I correct them saying she's not a dog, she is my baby. So, that being said, maybe this is all my fault.

Every night, I cradle her like a baby and kiss her all over her face. Well, last night I did my usual thing and all of a sudden she bit me! Thankfully it wasn't so bad that I need to go to the doctor. And, she is up to date on her shots, so I'm not worried about that. But, now I have the big thing on my nose and the whole tip of my nose is red and bruised.

I can't stop crying about this. Not because it hurts physically, but because I love her so much and would do anything for her and I feel like she doesn't even care about me. I yelled at her and told her I was so mad, she better not come near me. When she saw me crying she looked like she wanted to come over to me, but then she just layed down. She hasn't come near me since. I haven't spoken to her, haven't said good morning like usual, haven't said one word to her and I won't look at her. I'm sure the professionals would say I'm doing all the wrong things, but I am so upset with her I don't know how else to handle it.

And, all I keep thinking about is how is she going to be with the baby? Is she going to bite him whenever he comes near her and she's not in the mood? Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to break her from this moody behavior?

DH kept making excuses for her, just like I usually do, but I'm sorry...there is no excuse for her to bite me and break the skin and make me bleed. She is always snipping and going for people and it's embarassing. She snips at DH and I all the time.

sorry for the long post. I guess I just need hugs and if you have any suggestions, I'll take them too.

Message edited 8/9/2006 3:28:49 PM.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I'm so sorry, I have no advise but here are some

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

That is such a tough call, I feel the same way about my dog and I do not know what I would do. I do feel like a dog should never bite his owner. I wish you the best of luck

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Wow- I am so sorry this happened to you.

A pet that bites it's responsible, loving, adult owner is something to take very seriously and yes, I would be very concerned how she would be with your baby.

Both DH and I could take steak right out of Casey and Tally's mouth and we wouldn't fear being bitten.

I would call a trainer and consult them on this. Perhaps it is very fixable with the right training. Most likely, it is. Get some good advice from a good trainer before your baby comes. I'm sure it will be okay Stephanie and I am sorry you are going through this....

ETA: I am no expert on dog behavior but it sounds likes Emmie needs to learn very firmly that you and DH are the alphas in the pack and must be obeyed at all times...Snipping at you and DH should not be tolerated and a trainer can help her see that she is the Omega- not the Alpha!

Message edited 8/8/2006 12:35:29 PM.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Is this the first time she has biten? If not, how often has it happened? Is it possible she may have some time of pain and your kissing her was actually painful to her...such as an ear infection?

Animals are animals and don't always act the way we would like them too. Try not to dwell on what happened and concentrate on establishing yourself as the dominant female. She may have it confused and think of herself as the "Queen."

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Well...see, I actually call her the "queen" and she is definately a very dominant female. I don't help by doting on her and babying her.

I know this is all my fault. She snipped at Dh once and scraped his skin, but didn't full on bite him. that was because he went to give her a raspberry on her belly. She growls at me and the cat on an almost daily basis.

I agree that a dog should never bite their owner, like someone else said. It definately wasn't a bite where she felt she was being hurt. Plus, I was kissing and kissing her and out of nowhere, she bit me.


Honestly Stephanie definitely see a trainer. It sounds like she was annoyed at you for fussing with her and so she bit. She has to learn that you are dominant to her and she CANNOT bite when annoyed- or, at least until she is VERY VERY annoyed. A toddler will annoy her and her tolerance has to be raised because she has to learn that she needs to accept being a little annoyed by dominant members of the pack before she results to snipping or biting- a good trainer can help do this.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Posted by casey31



Well...see, I actually call her the "queen" and she is definately a very dominant female. I don't help by doting on her and babying her.

I know this is all my fault. She snipped at Dh once and scraped his skin, but didn't full on bite him. that was because he went to give her a raspberry on her belly. She growls at me and the cat on an almost daily basis.

I agree that a dog should never bite their owner, like someone else said. It definately wasn't a bite where she felt she was being hurt. Plus, I was kissing and kissing her and out of nowhere, she bit me.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also think you have to call a trainer now. You don't want this to happen when you have the baby. I remember reading a lot about a method called "nothing in life is for free" to help you establish pack dominance. Basically, you make your dog sit before she's fed, sit before she's given treats, etc. This helps her see you as the provider, and therefore leader in the group.

I don't know where you live, but I have a great trainer out in Huntington. Good luck!

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Posted by casey31



Well...see, I actually call her the "queen" and she is definately a very dominant female. I don't help by doting on her and babying her.

I know this is all my fault. She snipped at Dh once and scraped his skin, but didn't full on bite him. that was because he went to give her a raspberry on her belly. She growls at me and the cat on an almost daily basis.

I agree that a dog should never bite their owner, like someone else said. It definately wasn't a bite where she felt she was being hurt. Plus, I was kissing and kissing her and out of nowhere, she bit me.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Stephanie - I am so sorry that happened! Dogs sense change and she must know something is going on and there is a change with you (the baby) and she is showing her dominance. I agree with the girls a trainer would definetly know the right steps to take to change her attidude.

I was watching "The Dog Whisperer" over the weekend- he said dogs like to be the leader of the "pack" and that is what she might be trying to do.

When our son was born my husband came home w/ his beanie and blanket that had our son's scent on it and let the dog smell it and get use to his scent for when we brought him home. From that day on she (our dog) was very protective of him.
Please keep us posted. I am sorry again. Hugs 2 u!

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

yes... i agree- you need to see a trainer. I have two dogs that I adore but I am the alpha over them- they would never, EVER bite me- and if they did they would be in trouble.
in the beginning what I would do when one of my dogs misbehaved was I would roll them on their backs and then say a firm "no" looking at them in the eyes sternly- being on their backs, belly up is a submissive position- she needs to see that she is submissive to you, not hte other way around.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I agree you may need to see a trainer.

Its interesting you post this though - yesterday I was really upset b/c my dog (a pug) (we have 2 dogs one was DH's from before and the pug was mine) doesn't want anything to do with me lately. He has always adored me but lately he won't come to me when I call him but he will go to Dh 1 minute after. He doesn't want to be pet by me or anything

The reason I post this though is that I amthinking they might sense something and are jelous or feel something is not right. Just a theory.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Like everyone else had said, you definitely have to get a trainer. She should not snip or growl at you. I always make my dog sit before I feed her or before I give her a treat. I even put my fingers inside her plate to put more food and she doesn't do this to either my husband or myself. I even put my fingers inside her mouth when she's out in the backyard chewing on something she's not supposed to like leaves to remove it.
She's definitely sounds very dominant and she needs to learn you are one of the leader of the packs along with your husband. Definitely try to get to a trainer before you bring the baby home.
They will be able to work with both of you and resolve this.
Here are some

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I have a cat that is like a baby too. Maybe it was hot and she really just wanted to be left alone or she feels the changes happening and is upset by them.

My cat needs a medication now that I have Molly. The addition of the crying and late nights and changes to the household were a bit much for her. I took her to 3 Vets before finding a cat vet in Coram. He truly helped Beemer get calmer and adjusted to the changes.
Beemer has never once bit or scratched Molly..no matter what she has done. If he wants to get away from her he climbs high into his cat bed or goes upstairs to Scott's office. I think it is important for cats and dogs to have a place that the baby can't get to.
I wouldn't worry just yet.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I am so sorry

I treat my jack russel, Cleo, like a princess, and I babied her for years. I used to carry her around like my little baby girl. She almost 9 now.

I do agree with the other girls, see a trainer, if a dog thinks they are alpha and run the show, she will continue to show this behavior towards everyone, including the baby.

From Day 1, we have messed with her while she was eating, playing with her toys, and we are constantly rolling her on her back. For a dog to show her belly in pack mentality is a sign of weakness and it means they are giving in the alpha.

CLEO would never bite us, let alone draw blood. I am sorry but that is inexcusable. We also had cleo in training when she was a puppy too.

When we brought Gianna home she was very protective of the baby when she cried, she would sleep next to her pnp and would bark at anyone who would pick her up except DH or I. I think the newness has worn off now, she avoids the baby like the plague.

I do also agree the dog should have a place to go that is baby free and her space. For Cleo, that space is under my bed, she goes there when Gianna cries.

I know how it is to have a dog that is like a child and family member, but We have to remember animals are animals, and they can't show emotion or act like little humans cause they are not. They are still dogs.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I agree with everyone that says bring her to a trainer. That could help you a ton.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

so sorry you are going through this

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I'm sooo sorry Stephanie

Everyone has given you great advice. In a way it's good that it happened now before they baby comes so you can work on training her. I truly hope everything works out

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Stephanie,

I have read that if you do that with a dog-kiss them, let them in your bed, etc. you are giving them dominance. I know how it is, I kiss my dog often BUT they are not allowed in our bed or on furniture. It is so important to establish dominance with the dog. I think you should definitely speak with a trainer. Good luck.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know it would break my heart to think my dog would be a danger to my baby. I am a little nervous about my dof, not biting, but knocking the baby down- but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Anyway, I just wanted to send you some hugs and tell you to keep your chin up. I'm sure with the help of a trainer your dog will have an attitude adjustment.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

We had a dog that bit in my family and wound up giving it to a pet shelter in fear something terrible would happen (it attacked my grandmother)

Worried this would happen with the next dog, we made sure to hire an amazing trainer- Best Paw Forward.

They come to your house and really are quite amazing. She told me that I didnt have to get rid of the other dog, the problem could have been solved.

First what you need to do when you go home is put the dog on its back, paws in the air.

If the dog tries to bite at you and refuses to let you hold it on it's back then it is def. a submission problem. The trainer taught us to correct it, by saying no and pushing the dog over on its back over and over again. When the tail curls under in between its legs, you are in control and you are the dominant member. Interestingly, the dog will decipher who is the dominant person- if I put my dog on its back, the tail curls under, but if DH or my sister does- he tries to wiggle away.

Def call a trainer, but this is something you can do in the meantime so that she knows who is boss.

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

Steph

no advice really, and the other ladies have given you some wonderful suggestions..

I hope it all works out for you, I know how much you adore your little Emmie and I think that its wonderful you are going to such great lengths to ensure a happy household for the entire family .. you are a wonderful furbaby mommy and will be a wonderful mommy to your

Re: I am really upset...need your help (sorry, this is very long)

I just want to give u a bunch of

i treat my dog the same way and i always refer to him as my baby. he totally gets treated like he is my child. Hopefully it was a one time thing and she wont do it again. maybe she senses that something is going on and is getting jealous. I would try the trainer too. I know it will all work out for you!!!