Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

We have my mom and mil to watch our baby if I decide to go back to work. Also, my friends mom has a daycare out of her home and it is literally down the block from my job, so if needed I would send my baby their maybe 2 days a week.

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I have found this to be the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Unfortunately I have to work and p/t is really not an option for us. We are very fortunate to have family close by, so my mom watches Claire 4 days a week and my ILs watch her for one day a week. However I still have to deal with scheduling issues and try to handle the fustration of grandparents not always listening to the 'rules' I put in place. Actually now that she is 12 months I am considering daycare for 1-2 days a week to get her more socialization and give my mom a bit of a break.

While this situation works for us now, I dont see it fully working with another baby, so baby#2 will have to wait till something changes. I wish I could SAH or work p/t, but I have to say that I make a huge effort to make every SECOND with her be quality time and it really pays off, I find when I am home for an extended amount of time and I dont follow our schedule I get more distracted with other things and dont feel Ive had as much quality time as some work days (hope this makes sense) Right now I am considering trying to find a night/evening or flexible shift job to get some more time at home.... Im not sure you can fully plan this out before hand, you have to see what works for you when the baby is here.....

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT

I have 2 kids (2 and 4 years old). I went back full time after my 3 month maternity leave. I researched daycares before my kids were born. They've been in "school" ever since (cost right now is over $25K). I know that home daycares are less expensive, but I wasn't comfortable with leaving my baby in a home where there were no checks & balances. At the time, I had both my mom & my MIL that were available to watch Joseph - but not regularly. I didn't want them to watch them every day because I think that takes away from their Grandmotherhood and puts them more in a parent role.

In terms of the balancing work & family, you just do what needs to get done. My husband & I both work in the city. I drop them off about 7am, he picks them up at 5pm. We have dinner (that he cooked) when I get home at 6:30pm. It helps to have a set schedule with the kids. We don’t do anything during the week with them unless I’m off the next day. Throwing off their schedule makes it much harder to get them up the next morning. When they’ve gone to bed, I can go to the movies, fold laundry, surf around on the computer, grocery shop, etc. We have a cleaning lady once every 2 weeks.

I can’t even begin to list the things you give up when you have children & try to balance work. One thing I wouldn’t give up for my kids is working. At one point in my life, I expect that I’m going to have to support myself whether it’s through death or divorce. I know that’s a really morbid thought, but it’s realistic. My husband doesn’t fully understand. He works for a union. If he leaves for 10 years & comes back, his hourly rate is whatever the contract was negotiated at. Outside of those jobs, if you leave the workforce for 5 years, it’s not easy to get back in & you’re not going back at the salary level you should be. Talk to any SAHM who is returning to the workforce & ask how they feel about interviewing.

For work, I think every working mom’s career is somewhat derailed by having kids. It’s just inevitable because while you care a lot of your work, if your child needed you, you’d walk. I won’t travel, stay late or go out after work- unless it’s extremely important. I get 2-3 hours with them so missing their bedtime story or talking about their day isn’t an option for me. For me, working makes me a better mom. I don’t have them all day so I cherish the time I spend with them. On most weekends, we do something for them – whether it’s a museum, park, blanket tents, indoor picnics or having dinner dressed in crowns.

It isn't easy to drop off your 3 month old that first day of daycare. You wonder if you are making the right decision, etc. -no matter how sure you were minutes before. You cry, you miss them but in the end, you do what needs to be done.

And still…my favorite part of the day is walking in the door from work hearing screams of “Mommy’s home!” as they jump in my arms.

Re: This should be on the Parenting Board, BUT