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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Feeling hopeless...UPDATED at end
So the RE just called with DH's SA results and they were not good. He's got almost no motility and the morphology is also very very bad.
I don't know how to tell him.
I'm also really pi$$ed that he hasn't stopped smoking since last time the SA came back (in June) he was told to quit because they were bad and he hasn't.
Between being diagnosed with PCOS, going on the metformin, and now this, I'm feeling really hopeless. They are going to do another SA on him, but this is 2 that have been bad, so chances are a 3rd would be bad too. They are already talking about potential skipping right to IVF for us.
I left work at 4:00 because I felt like I was going to have a breakdown. Managed to make it in the house, but I've been sobbing ever since and I can't get a hold of him and the dog is staring at me like I'm crazy and trying to lick my tears away.
Needed to vent...
Message edited 2/27/2006 7:08:27 PM.
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Posted 2/22/06 4:35 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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jmf423
:)
Member since 5/05 6372 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:37 PM |
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mrsmck
Be a big girl!
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Oh Lauren, I'm so sorry.....
sending lots of  to you!!! Enjoy your vacation. You deserve it!!!!
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:38 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:45 PM |
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Red
spring is in the air
Member since 11/05 2688 total posts
Name:
helen
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
I am so sorry for you - when DH's SA came back low (specifically morphology) I was so angry too. Since then he quit smoking, reduced caffene and alcohol and its improved. He also takes Eastern medicine herbs and a multivitamin
With IVF as an option, all is not lost, but I totally empathise with you. All I can offer is
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:45 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren.... I don't know what to say. I wish I could give you a big hug right now!
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:53 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren- I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say other than  I'm thinking of you!
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| Posted 2/22/06 4:57 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Im so sorry Lauren! god, I know how tough it is. My DH has very very low Morp Too 5-6%....
I wish I could say something to make you feel better
hang in there, and feel free to vent as much as you need!!
What is your next step with the RE then in light of this?
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| Posted 2/22/06 5:47 PM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren
I know how hard it is to get this news. When my RE first suggested IVF because of the male factor I was devestated. I think it made it worse because it was something I had no control over.
Is your DH overweight? My RE ordered for him to have an insulin resistance test which he failed. He was started on Metformin and it made some improvement. Still not great though.
The one thing that you should take away from this is that all hope is not lost. ICSI is really great for male factor and as long as you have 1 or 2 good sperm IVF can be successful. I know hearing IVF is scary, but you just know that you will have a baby. At least now you have a bit of an explanation.
FM me if you need support. I have been down this road before.
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| Posted 2/22/06 6:48 PM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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Message edited 2/23/2006 1:38:10 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/06 8:58 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
I am so sorry about your call with the doctor. I think your husband has to chose to quit smoking..no one can force that. Maybe just tell him how sad this is making you because it is something that he can do to help..why do you have to do the shots, the meds, the internals? KWIM?
I hope you can discuss this and find a good solution for both of you. Good Luck!!
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| Posted 2/22/06 9:22 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren --- IVF is not as bad as it sounds...I haven't done it yet but know LOTS of women who have been successful going this route when DH has been the issue...
He must quit smoking. Do not feel bad about telling him -- you have been on all kinds of meds and he has continued to smoke. He must bear responsibility as well, this cannot all be on your shoulders. I quit 4 years ago, cold turkey. It is hard, but possible if you want to do it.
I also suggest he go for acupuncture -- it has helped my DH enormously with his low morph. He is also taking Chinese herbs for male fertility. Your DH has to be active in helping you, and the best way he can do that is by taking all necessary steps to improve your chances of conceiving a happy, healthy baby.
Hope I wasn't too harsh but I want the best for you....
Oh and PS, it has taken me this long to get DH to switch to boxers...he has refused until now...when he started giving me the gonal-f shots, he realized that with all I am going through, he must do whatever he can to improve our chances.
Message edited 2/22/2006 9:47:17 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/06 9:45 PM |
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redstar
Delay is not denial
Member since 5/05 2220 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Posted by karacg
Lauren --- IVF is not as bad as it sounds...I haven't done it yet but know LOTS of women who have been successful going this route when DH has been the issue...
He must quit smoking. Do not feel bad about telling him -- you have been on all kinds of meds and he has continued to smoke. He must bear responsibility as well, this cannot all be on your shoulders. I quit 4 years ago, cold turkey. It is hard, but possible if you want to do it.
I also suggest he go for acupuncture -- it has helped my DH enormously with his low morph. He is also taking Chinese herbs for male fertility. Your DH has to be active in helping you, and the best way he can do that is by taking all necessary steps to improve your chances of conceiving a happy, healthy baby.
Hope I wasn't too harsh but I want the best for you....
Oh and PS, it has taken me this long to get DH to switch to boxers...he has refused until now...when he started giving me the gonal-f shots, he realized that with all I am going through, he must do whatever he can to improve our chances.
I agree with Kara, acupuncture can help. Herbs can do a great job as well. Make sure you seek the help of a fertility acupuncturist though.
One thing I have to say is, Male Factor Issues can be easily rectified with IVF. ICSI works so well. They can inject the egg with abnormally shaped sperm and the egg can easily fertilize. Abnormal sperm doesn't lead to poor embyros...they just can't penetrate the egg without icsi. (low morphology=abnormally shaped sperm) Your dh may also want to see a urologist.
Women who have pcos, usually respond very well to ivf...actually sometimes too well. They usually produce many eggs...
Whenever, you receive a diagnosis it's very very overewhelming. Take this time to let it sink in....and give yourself time to grieve. However, at the same time, know that you have causes that can be treated and most probably going to lead to success.
My heart goes out to you Lauren. You don't have to rush into IVF, because you did conceive once....and once your insulin levels are regulated....with the metformin, ...you have an excellent chance of conceiving a sticky pregnancy.
Message edited 2/22/2006 10:42:37 PM.
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| Posted 2/22/06 10:42 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren,
I am so sorry about that call. You must sit down with your DH, you probably already have.
But, I do want to offer you some hope. My BIL had serious issues with his SA. They got PG on their second IVF...so all is not lost. The good thing about IVF is that the "few good men" he does have are going to be able to do their job.
I wish you lot's of luck.
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| Posted 2/23/06 7:03 AM |
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calendargrl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 1686 total posts
Name:
jan
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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| Posted 2/23/06 7:35 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Im so sorry. Like many women had stated, there are many treatments out there for his low SA.
Like Pauline said, if you do move onto IVF...ICSI is GREAT for that.
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| Posted 2/23/06 9:57 AM |
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sylvester
LIF Infant
Member since 10/05 325 total posts
Name:
Rosanna
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Im sorry.
My dh took a SA last year and it was not great, Count and morphology was not good. we had ivf done with ICSI and many of my eggs fertilized becuase of the ICSI.
Just this past week he had another analysis done and it was much better then lasat year. Not sure why it improved, but he started to use boxers and he started taking fish oil.
DId your dh go to the urologist? I know someone who could not get pg and her husband went to the urologist and he had a blockage. they did a procedure on him and a few months later his wife was pg.
Best of luck.
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| Posted 2/23/06 10:04 AM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Hi everyone,
Thanks for all the posts and the FMs. I really appreciate your support.
I signed off last night when DH got home. I explained everything to him and he was pretty upset. He KNOWS he has to quit smoking, but so far he hasn't been able to. He's down to one or two cigarettes a day (He smoked two packs a day when I met him 8 years ago.)
Sometimes I feel like his mother - sniffing him out to see if he had any. It's not a good feeling.
I know IVF is still viable to have a baby. This ICSI process sounds more complicated than regular IVF, which scares me.
I think the main problem I'm having is that last week at this time I was all hopeful and upbeat again after seeing the RE. Like we finally had answers and a path and we were headed down the road. Now I feel like someone threw the emergency brake on and I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I didn't go to work today because I barely slept last night. When I did sleep I woke myself up crying. It was not a good night.
Hopefully I can get my act together today and go back tomorrow.
Thanks again ladies!! Don't know what I'd do without you!!
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| Posted 2/23/06 10:19 AM |
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Hang in there...
Maybe get a massage or something today? Treat yourself, you deserve it!
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| Posted 2/23/06 10:21 AM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren, I don't have any words that can make your journey any easier for you.. just wanted to send you along lots of hugs and good wishes... I'm always thinking of you
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| Posted 2/23/06 11:14 AM |
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LIPrincess
Foxy Lady
Member since 6/05 1610 total posts
Name:
Jaimie
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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| Posted 2/23/06 11:32 AM |
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rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren, first lots of
ICSI is only more complicated for the lab tech. You dont have to do a single thing different and unless they tell you , you wouldnt even know it was done.
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| Posted 2/23/06 11:38 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
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| Posted 2/23/06 12:18 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
I am sorry that this is so hard for you right now I hope tomorrow is a better day.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:10 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Feeling hopeless...
Lauren- I can't add any profoun advice after al the wonderful posts. I just wanted to post and give you som though.
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| Posted 2/23/06 1:34 PM |
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