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suvenR
designer mutt
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Message edited 10/4/2006 10:40:08 PM.
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Posted 1/15/06 3:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Yes I agree, if its the 2nd marriage for both parties it should be toned down a bit.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:17 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I'm with you...second weddings shouldnt have ANY of that (when they have each been married before and already had the hooopla).
It's tacky IMO and I wouldn't go to second showers and such, nor would I send presents.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:18 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
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Donna
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
hmmm..I think its fine actually. I believe a wedding is about a celebration of love, so go all out if you want, maybe they didnt get that the first time, or maybe its REAL this time. AND what if one person wasnt married before? Why shouldnt they get the whole thing because the other person already did?
It seems awful judgemental to tell anyone they cant celebrate big because they have already.
Now if its their 5th wedding, I may give a little less as a gift 
Message edited 1/15/2006 3:21:29 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:19 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
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me
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Hmm. I think, for me, it would depend on who the person was or what the circumstances were. Some people need a fresh start sometimes, and I guess that means all the hoopla. But in general, I'd say that's weird.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:20 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
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Message edited 10/4/2006 10:40:18 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:22 PM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I used the same that 2nd wedding should be toned down. Then I realized that there are some things that maybe should be different but no reason why you cant have a big party. It's up to each couple, I guess.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:22 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Posted by suvenR
Posted by dm24angel
It seems awful judgemental to tell anyone they cant celebrate big because they have already.
I have no problem with the celebration. And, obviously I'm not going to tell anyone that they can't celebrate. But, I do feel a little funny about receiving shower invites for someone who I already gave a shower gift to 2 years ago.
And, then the wedding invite. I'm happy to celebrate with my friends, but my $ only goes so far. I feel like "well, if I gave Bill and Amy $300 and I don't give Bill and Mary $300, Mary might get offended if she knows what I gave to Bill and Amy"...
Its a second celebration? TO me thats like saying, you celebrated your birthday last year, and you want another gift?
Unless they are getting married VERY often, I just dont get the issue...
If I gave someone shower gift previously I woudl say well she has a lot of stuff, so I will give a GC now...Those are the changes I would make.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:24 PM |
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I am on my 2nd (and Last!) marriage, and we got married at town hall and had a small party of about 40 people at my moms house. We both had the big "hoopla" before and did NOT want to go there again, but everyone is different. To each their own.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:24 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Posted by Scotty-CassidysMom
I am on my 2nd (and Last!) marriage, and we got married at town hall and had a small party of about 40 people at my moms house. We both had the big "hoopla" before and did NOT want to go there again, but everyone is different. To each their own.
thats how most people I know who were on their 2nd did it. Maybe I just dont know a lot of people having huge second weddings, so thats why I feel the way I do.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:26 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
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Message edited 10/5/2006 4:39:05 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:33 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Im planning my second wedding and we have the big white dress, church, reception etc.....I never had a 1st wedding (got married at town hall) no reception ...this will be FH's 1st marriage
Message edited 1/15/2006 3:35:16 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:35 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
If they're both on their second marriage, I can def. see toning it down a bit. My mom's second wedding was at the country house in Stony Brook, about 100 people, inexpensive dress, etc. She'd already had the big wedding, so this was a bit understand.
To each their own, but i could see how it would be frustrating if both weddings were very close to eachother.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:35 PM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Posted by suvenR
Posted by dm24angel
thats how most people I know who were on their 2nd did it. Maybe I just dont know a lot of people having huge second weddings, so thats why I feel the way I do.
One couple did it very SMALL. 2 other couples are going HUGE. DH and I were guests at the first big shebang and new we're invited to the next big shebang.
And, it's not the receptions that seem odd, its the e-parties, showers and full registries. For people who were married just 2 years ago, it seems greedy to do the registry and shower thing again so soon.
i'm with you on this. sounds pretty nervy to me if it was only TWO years ago!
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:35 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
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me
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Posted by suvenR
And, it's not the receptions that seem odd, its the e-parties, showers and full registries. For people who were married just 2 years ago, it seems greedy to do the registry and shower thing again so soon.
See, now this I understand completely. I don't think all the other parties are necessary. However, I really have no problem with the reception. My aunt just got married in October for the second time and she had a big reception, however, that was it. But she also was married to a horrible man 30 years ago and wanted to celebrate her happiness with her new husband.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:37 PM |
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I think time is a factor- if someone had a big wedding and the marriage does not work out, having a huge wedding again in 2 years is a bit tacky.
To be honest, I did enjoy planning my wedding but it is NOT an experience I ever care to repeat.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:38 PM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I know someone who did this this past year. His first marriage was in 2003 and he cheated on his 1st wife 9 months into the marriage with the woman he just married in 2005. I felt bad because it was her first marriage, but A LOT of people on his side did not go because they felt what he did was not right. (I was not invited to either wedding).
I think if i was in his shoes i would of invited just my close family and friends to the second one.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:54 PM |
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-Laurie-
Hi!
Member since 5/05 2536 total posts
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I don't have a problem with it if its a first marriage for one of them. Everyone should be able to enjoy a nice dream wedding even if they are marrying a former divorced person..
Now I have a friend who got married right before me and is getting married again in a few months. She got her full Lenox China and Waterford Crystal along with everything else under the sun and tons of $$$$$. Her registry for her new wedding has new China and Crystal and is fully packed with things that Dh and I never even dared put on our regisrty.
I was in her wedding and spent about 2,000 total so it rubs me the wrong way.
Message edited 1/15/2006 3:59:23 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 3:58 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
maybe one of them didn't get married. she/he might've had a small wedding and now wants a big wedding
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:11 PM |
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suvenR
designer mutt
Member since 5/05 4239 total posts
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Message edited 10/5/2006 4:39:21 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:22 PM |
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bklyngirl
COULD THIS BE MY YEAR??
Member since 6/05 15758 total posts
Name:
Gail
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
Posted by suvenR
Posted by bklyngirl
maybe one of them didn't get married. she/he might've had a small wedding and now wants a big wedding
nope, not the case for any of the couples I mentioned. I FIRMLY BELIEVE that for ANYONE who is having their first wedding, they should have the works- regardless of how many times their mate has been married.
I guess I'm just jealous of the people who got married right before me are now getting a second round of celebrations...
i don't think u should be jealous, u should be proud. u could make the marriage work
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:23 PM |
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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
I have been to several second weddings that have been treated the same as their first weddings. HUGE EVENTS!
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| Posted 1/15/06 4:26 PM |
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karacg
Babygirl is 4!
Member since 5/05 17076 total posts
Name:
Kara®
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
DH and I had both been married before, with big weddings in 1994. When we got married to each other in 2004, we had about 75 guests at a vineyard this time - no limos, no bridesmaids, no church, no white dress, no tuxes.... you get the picture.
In lieu of a shower, my sister held a tea party in her yard for me - she requested no gifts but of course everyone (except my sisters) gave a nice gift. It was more so the bride's and gromm's family members could meet. We registered at Fortunoff more so that people wouldn't be stuck trying to figure out what to get us. We registered for $50-$100 items.
May I tell you - my fiirst wedding, with all the hoopla, cost $10,000 - and mom paid for it. This one cost... over $30,000!! And people gave gifts that would correspond to a second wedding ....
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:19 PM |
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Juliet
Family is Complete!
Member since 5/05 5913 total posts
Name:
Juliet
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
My brother was married in Nov 2002 and got divorced shortly thereafter and got married again in August 2005 and while it was the bride's first wedding, a lot of people were surprised at the big registry they had. I agree that she deserved the hoopla but my BROTHER was the one who chose most of the items of the registry and gave friends and family an attitude when they didn't give as much as they did at his first wedding.
Personally, if one person of the couple has been married before I think they shouldn't expect to get the same type of gifts or amount of money from that person's side of the family. Let the first-timer's family and friends go overboard.
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| Posted 1/15/06 5:36 PM |
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Pumpkin
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3353 total posts
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Re: What's the deal with second weddings?
wait i get the whole eparty thing. But the registry may be not.
do you think most people want to eat of dishes that were bought for you and someone else? JMO
Message edited 1/15/2006 6:39:15 PM.
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| Posted 1/15/06 6:36 PM |
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