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unknown1
****
Member since 5/05 2771 total posts
Name:
lisa
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by CkGm
Do NOT allow your know it all MIL to come to your first new home the DAY after you move in. She will shoot down all your decorating ideas, tell you she hates the colors you have picked, will buy you endless things you didn't ask for so your DH thinks she is God, and you will feel isolated, alone and hate your new home.
I trust that all of you would not be as incredibly stupid as I was to allow this to happen. If my DH does not start to support me on how she is running my new home(arranging the furniture in a different way while I was at work) then I may have to leave him and let him live with his mom forever and ever.
Thanks for that vent veiled as a life lesson. I feel much better now.
I WOULD SAY I THOUGHT YOU LIVED UNDER THE HOUSE YOU WITCH WHAT DO YOU CARE HOW IT IS DECORATED INSIDE
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Posted 7/7/06 1:47 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by LadyLainez
Well I have learned that you need to speak up and say something!!!!! Until you put an end to it she will never stop!  We need a MIL support group! 
Good advice- I am going to do that when I get home from work today- as scary as it might be. I am going to have DH in the room as well and just tell her how important it is to feel like I have control over how my home is decorated. That I really do appreciate all she has done for us and all she is trying to do to help but I worked hard to own a home and want to decorate it my way.
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| Posted 7/7/06 1:52 PM |
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kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son
Member since 2/06 2747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: New Life Rule
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!!!
Sorry 
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| Posted 7/7/06 1:54 PM |
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Baboots
I miss you grandma
Member since 8/05 1437 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by CkGm
Posted by Baboots
Posted by CkGm
Honestly, if my DH was supporting me I would be fine and just wait to decorate when she leaves. But he's not- when I tried to talk to him last night he said, I am sick of being both sides of this- Ummm... this is the first I mentioned it since I was trying to be patient so how many conversations have you had with HER about ME!
Instead of saying that though, I said, F that, I am your wife- you don't need to hear both sides at all. At that point he stormed at the room, moved the couch back where I had it just to be a jerk and show his mom that I was being a bit*h and we haven't spoken since. But on the way to bathroom, I saw him with his head in HER room having a nice chat about me. I am so angry at him, I can't even tell you.
Umm, do we have the same mil????? My dh too always say this...about taking sides. It makes me so angry..
Glad to know I am not alone. I really don't know what to do- he doesn't even see what she does as wrong or intrusive.
OMG, you sound exactly like me.....
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| Posted 7/7/06 1:56 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Life Rule
I missed the part about her moving your furniture. Maybe the pregnancy card won't work, but when he's seeing his baby every other weekend & one night during the week - he'll be changing his tune.
You're definitely not alone. My DH has never sided with me against his mom in the 1 or 2 huge arguements we've had. Very annoying!
So sorry you have to deal with this nonsense. I'm glad you're addressing it. You don't need the stress.
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| Posted 7/7/06 1:58 PM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by CkGm
Posted by LadyLainez
Well I have learned that you need to speak up and say something!!!!! Until you put an end to it she will never stop! We need a MIL support group!
Good advice- I am going to do that when I get home from work today- as scary as it might be. I am going to have DH in the room as well and just tell her how important it is to feel like I have control over how my home is decorated. That I really do appreciate all she has done for us and all she is trying to do to help but I worked hard to own a home and want to decorate it my way.
Good luck!
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| Posted 7/7/06 2:01 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: New Life Rule
Baboots- I just posted on your other post- too scary. DON"T TAKE THE MONEY! Dh will think she is so wonderful and generous and that you are a bit$h when you see how she uses it for control.
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| Posted 7/7/06 2:12 PM |
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Maathy317
Grammie's Little Man
Member since 2/06 3235 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by CkGm
Posted by LadyLainez
Well I have learned that you need to speak up and say something!!!!! Until you put an end to it she will never stop! We need a MIL support group!
Good advice- I am going to do that when I get home from work today- as scary as it might be. I am going to have DH in the room as well and just tell her how important it is to feel like I have control over how my home is decorated. That I really do appreciate all she has done for us and all she is trying to do to help but I worked hard to own a home and want to decorate it my way.
That is a good start, but, if your husband just stands there and says nothing to support you, then it will all be for naught. This is HIS mother and HE needs to take a firm stand with her and tell her the boundaries. If he doesn't, she won't listen to a word you say and will continue to do as she pleases thinking she has her son's support. Good luck to you!
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| Posted 7/7/06 2:56 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by Maathy317
Posted by CkGm
Posted by LadyLainez
Well I have learned that you need to speak up and say something!!!!! Until you put an end to it she will never stop! We need a MIL support group!
Good advice- I am going to do that when I get home from work today- as scary as it might be. I am going to have DH in the room as well and just tell her how important it is to feel like I have control over how my home is decorated. That I really do appreciate all she has done for us and all she is trying to do to help but I worked hard to own a home and want to decorate it my way.
That is a good start, but, if your husband just stands there and says nothing to support you, then it will all be for naught. This is HIS mother and HE needs to take a firm stand with her and tell her the boundaries. If he doesn't, she won't listen to a word you say and will continue to do as she pleases thinking she has her son's support. Good luck to you!
That's why I want him there because if he chooses to just sit there and not say anything, there will be one doozy of a fight once she leaves. I am carrying his child, if she wants to be manipulative, I may have to be as well. I know that sounds harsh but I will not be staying with a whipped momma's boy.
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| Posted 7/7/06 3:34 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: New Life Rule
Posted by CkGm
Do NOT allow your know it all MIL to come to your first new home the DAY after you move in. She will shoot down all your decorating ideas, tell you she hates the colors you have picked, will buy you endless things you didn't ask for so your DH thinks she is God, and you will feel isolated, alone and hate your new home.
I trust that all of you would not be as incredibly stupid as I was to allow this to happen. If my DH does not start to support me on how she is running my new home(arranging the furniture in a different way while I was at work) then I may have to leave him and let him live with his mom forever and ever.
Thanks for that vent veiled as a life lesson. I feel much better now.
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| Posted 7/7/06 3:37 PM |
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