Re: Guys Im really depressed

as you get older
you start to realize that making ends meet is more important than a pair of boots bags or whatever...


im sure if you want the boots so bad you can find something very similar to them at a cheaper price.. or do you need UGGS!!!.

i am not going to lie
i dont spend money the way i used to before because now i am saving for a house and being in a house and paying all my bills is way more important to me than FASHION.. yeah i love it but there are other thing that are more important in life .. all the stores i shopped in before i dont even look at anymore..

Message edited 10/10/2006 9:18:42 AM.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

I agree. Unless your fixed costs (mortgage, insurance, bills that are pretty much the same every month) are too large of a % of your joint income, I don't see how you cannot have any money.

I would figure out the % of your fixed costs and see if there is some way you can reduce those (change cable TV plan, cell phone, home phone, internet, etc to maybe pick the less expensive plans) and then see what you have left over.

And like everyone else said- go easy on gifts- you don't HAVE to go to everything that you are invited too and you certainly don't need to give huge monetary gifts.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Posted by momAGAIN

im sorry! ...that is the same situation we were in ...we eventually realized it was to expensive for us to live on LI ....just remember its always darkest before the light!

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

I would think a couple who have a co-op with low maintenance, would be able to survive on a six figure salary.

You are doing something wrong, and need to figure it out. People making 100K less than you survive on LI.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Posted by dom-n-nic

Posted by conigs25

Posted by dom-n-nic

as you get older
you start to realize that making ends meet is more important than a pair of boots bags or whatever...


im sure if you want the boots so bad you can find something very similar to them at a cheaper price.. or do you need UGGS!!!.

i am not going to lie
i dont spend money the way i used to before because now i am saving for a house and being in a house and paying all my bills is way more important to me than FASHION.. yeah i love it but there are other thing that are more important in life .. all the stores i shopped in before i dont even look at anymore..

I hear ya Nic. I was just sayingthat it should be ok to buy a pair of boots for $123 w/o feeling strapped. I def do NOT do that on a weekly basis

iknow what you mean .. i wish i couold buy the things i love right now too
but i know i cant ..it's a part of growing up and I HATE IT . but everyone has to do ..

im just waiiting to hit the lotto lolol

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

money issues can be frustrating for anybody - sorry you are going through this... I agree maybe a financial planner will help you -- I saw that you are wanting to sell your wedding gown on the other post -- I wouldn't do that just yet, if you need to pay for your DH's party - some people may disagree with me, but I would be it on a credit card.

You said you paid off the balance of the one card with the wedding money so if you have a zero balance I would just put the party (how much can it be - $2000-3000?) on the card again and not stress. You can pay it off. Especially if you have no other debts besides student loans -- Trust me today a few thousand on a credit card is small potatoes -- I know some people don't like any debt, but it will be ok, put it on the card and pay it off in 6 months -- hey it's the american way - don't get yourself crazy over it. It happens


edit: I'm not saying rack up a balance you can never afford to pay off - but if you are working hard, have the party, enjoy and pay it off. As long as it is not costing you tens of thousands of dollars

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Whoa!!! You guys make a 180k a year and can't survive on LI. I don't see how that is possible. I would understand more if you owned a house, but you have a co-op. My friend makes about 90k a year, has a co-op, student loan, a car loan, and a bike loan. He is struggling a little, but is getting by. He even saves a bit each month.

My suggestion is to really look into what you are buying, and see what is happening with your money. I don't see any reason why you and your DH can't afford to live on LI. My DH and I make much less, and we plan on doing it.
I would cancel the party! Do you really need to do this, if you are trying to sell your wedding gown to pay it off. It seems to me that your intentions are good, but your prioritys are in the wrong place. Good Luck!!

Message edited 10/10/2006 9:47:23 AM.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Posted by conigs25

Posted by momAGAIN

im sorry! ...that is the same situation we were in ...we eventually realized it was to expensive for us to live on LI ....just remember its always darkest before the light!

Yep and thats EXACTLY why we were upstate this wkd looking at homes. LI su cks

Re: Guys Im really depressed

i think you need a little perspective before you can call not being able to by a pair of Uggs "pain".

you just had a wedding...you have grown up bills now. check your spending habits...you both have cars, ins. water bills and the like. You guys both should sit down and see where the "hole" is in your account...it's usually something you'd never think of, like over shopping at the supermarket or too much take out. It all adds up, especially now that you are doubling everything. you probably don't need a new job, just a different outlook.

Michelle, I am sure you know your life could be much, much worse. Once in a while we need to count our blessings.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Posted by conigs25

Posted by momAGAIN

im sorry! ...that is the same situation we were in ...we eventually realized it was to expensive for us to live on LI ....just remember its always darkest before the light!

Yep and thats EXACTLY why we were upstate this wkd looking at homes. LI su cks

Re: Guys Im really depressed

I know exactly what you mean. DH and I make about that too and we wonder where it all goes. I use quicken to understand our expenses better. We see each month what is what and budget accordingly. I'm always shifting money around from category to category. It's a little OCD but when money has to be spent on one thing it has to come from somewhere so I re-budget.

Also-it sounds like you need some tax deductions. Are you maxing your 401(k)? Are you putting money in a Roth IRA? Talk to your accountant.

Getting a clearer idea of what you spend money on will help you allocate better.

Also, $160K is a lot of money. Here on LI it doesn't go as far as it could somewhere else. Keep in mind though you are only netting about $90K of it. That's about $7500/mo. So take it from there.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

$160k, help from Dad, paying into a co-op as opposed to a house (is it in the city or something?)and things are still that tight?

You need to take a serious look at your finances. I'm sure money is going to possibly frivolous things that you may not even realize...maybe unnecessary services on your cell phone, cable bill?

Re: Guys Im really depressed

Re: Guys Im really depressed

thats a lot of money that your spending. you definitely need to take a good look at where your money is going. DH and I make a little bit more then that and pay our mortage, 10K in taxes and arent' very thrifty but we're never low on funds.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

I am sorry to hear it is very difficult to make ends meet. On Long Island, it's easy to feel six figures isn't quite enough.

DH and I earn a similar income, also have a co-op with low maintenance, and we do get by, manage to save every month, and even take trips now and then. At times I do get frustrated because I feel anywhere else in the country we would be living very well. Instead, I would say we are just solidly middle-class here.

Seriously, consider reducing some things and you should be fine. We don't carry credit card debt, which probably helps us. DH and I both commute into NYC for work, so we both have that expense. But we only keep one car. Right now, it's doable since we use it rarely during the week, and we get by with one on weekends. Neither one of us spends a lot on clothes or grooming--we don't skimp, but we don't buy expensive things or go to high-end salons. If we go on a trip, we look for a moderate hotel and low airfare. Lately, we try to bring lunch more days than not since we are saving for a house, and we eat at home more often. Even cutting back on some things, I feel pretty comfortable with my life now compared to how I was living in my early 20s--truly hand-to-mouth. I can remember having just a few dollars in my wallet and that was it until pay day at times (and that could last for several days).

Talk to DH about areas you would both feel comfortable cutting back on, and you should both be okay. Personally, I would do that before a second job cause my free time is too valuable, but you need to decide what is important to you.

Re: Guys Im really depressed

we are in a similar situation right now, and we don't make anywhere near 160k. we pay reant and other bills each month, say are good and some are bad. i bring coffee and lunch justa bout every day, even a day or two buying coffee adds up, most of the time without you realizing.

and i'm sorry you are in this situation, but you need to stop with the gift giving. that to me, is the source of your problems. and selling a beautiful wedding dress is not going to make all the issues go away.

good luck

Re: Guys Im really depressed

have you made sure your deductions are correct? Are you getting a huge refund check from taxes? If so, then you are getting too much taken out of each paycheck. I would look into this, and also the maybe give less gifts. I know what you mean with that, we have gone to so many weddings in the past two months, but at least its almost over for us!

Re: Guys Im really depressed