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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by AJsMommy122
I am sure many of you will disagree with this but there is A LOT worse things that could happen IMO then getting pregnant.
I wasn't much older then that when I became pregnant with my son and it was the BEST thing that could have ever happened to me.
I don't doubt that it was the best thign that happened to you, nor do I think there's anything wrong with it, HOWEVER, you were not 13/14. There's a big difference, even by 2 years, IMO in the emotional maturity of a child. By 16 or 17, I can see being able to handle this situation better, but not at 13 or 14. JMHO. I very rarely feel this strongly about something like this, and very rarely let my opinions be known on here, but this is one situation (in the article) that I think is wrong. I will just leave it at that.
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Posted 9/5/05 2:54 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
WELL they probably let them right the article since the guy got arrested.If the stayed in Kansas where they were married and didn't go home he probably wouldn't have gotten arrested.
Im sure the article in the newpaper wasnt consented to it was good news.
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| Posted 9/5/05 3:01 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
I dont believe a 14 year old knows what love truly is. She should NOT be raising a child without some other adult figure (NOT the man)
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| Posted 9/5/05 6:33 PM |
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MrsERod
Praying for Everyone.
Member since 5/05 26170 total posts
Name:
MrsERod™®
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by june262004
Kansas law has no minimum age for marriage, though state judges through case law have set the minimum age at 14 for boys and 12 for girls.
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 9/5/05 6:40 PM |
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PiyoPika566
talk to the hand
Member since 5/05 1436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
it is a bit disturbing, since the girl was 13 (as far as we know) since they started their sexual relationship...
... but now that they are married and expecting a baby, I think it's really stupid to put the father in jail. The baby is completely innocent, why should he/she suffer with one parent in jail?
ETA: this Kansas law is absolutly disgusting, regardless if it's with parents' permission or not!!!
Message edited 9/5/2005 7:06:10 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/05 7:04 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by PiyoPika566
it is a bit disturbing, since the girl was 13 (as far as we know) since they started their sexual relationship...
... but now that they are married and expecting a baby, I think it's really stupid to put the father in jail. The baby is completely innocent, why should he/she suffer with one parent in jail?
the baby is born they had a little girl name Samara
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| Posted 9/5/05 7:05 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
OK I am a bit extreme but not only do i think that the guy should be arrested, i think the parents should be as well....
Allowing your daughter that young, marry him is just plain ignorant....
In fact all of them seem like they do not have all that much intelligence
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| Posted 9/5/05 7:26 PM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by Redhead
OK I am a bit extreme but not only do i think that the guy should be arrested, i think the parents should be as well....
Allowing your daughter that young, marry him is just plain ignorant....
In fact all of them seem like they do not have all that much intelligence
AMEN TO THIS!!
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| Posted 9/5/05 10:40 PM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by MissJones
Secondly, Lolita, I have to disagree with you a bit. There is a fairly large age difference. As people get older, age differences subside a bit. But at that age, the difference is big. DH is 5 years older than me. We met when I was 23 and he was 28. No problem. I was a working woman and very responsible. But had we met when when I was 14 and he was 19, uh uh. No way would my mom be cool with that. Nor would I be cool with my daughter dating someone that much older while she was that young.
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i have a 12 year age difference.
8 years is NOT a big age difference at all.
i agree with you that the olde ryou are the less the gap matters... that is why i said "its not a big age difference, BUT she is only 14 which is sad" b/c it is definatly a bigger gap when you're only 14.
and i dont know if her mom allowed it or not. that is a whole different story, NO i do not feel they should have been allowed to date... but it obviously happened.
i DO find it disturbing that a 22 yr old would want to be with a girl who is practicaly still a preteen. i am in no way 'defending' them.
its gross, yeah. but they made the choices to A) keep the baby and B) get married.
so............. life goes on.
my question is.... wouldnt her parents have to press charges in order to put him in jail???
Message edited 9/6/2005 3:03:45 AM.
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| Posted 9/6/05 3:00 AM |
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MissJones
I need a nap!
Member since 5/05 22138 total posts
Name:
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by Lolita4Life
Posted by MissJones
Secondly, Lolita, I have to disagree with you a bit. There is a fairly large age difference. As people get older, age differences subside a bit. But at that age, the difference is big. DH is 5 years older than me. We met when I was 23 and he was 28. No problem. I was a working woman and very responsible. But had we met when when I was 14 and he was 19, uh uh. No way would my mom be cool with that. Nor would I be cool with my daughter dating someone that much older while she was that young.
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i have a 12 year age difference.
8 years is NOT a big age difference at all.
i agree with you that the olde ryou are the less the gap matters... that is why i said "its not a big age difference, BUT she is only 14 which is sad" b/c it is definatly a bigger gap when you're only 14.
i DO find it disturbing that a 22 yr old would want to be with a girl who is practicaly still a preteen. i am in no way 'defending' them.
I understand what you are saying. My parents have a 12 year difference too, but had they started dating at 12 and 24, my grandparents would have been up in arms!!!!!!!!!! The younger someone is, the larger the difference seems to be. I don't understand either why a college age guy would WANT to be with a girl. It is disturbing. Again, I wish them luck b/c it's going to be hard.
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| Posted 9/6/05 5:36 AM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Here's what I think...
Should the girl have been dating this guy in the first place? Hell no.
But what's done is done, and an innocent child is involved.
Should the 14 year old be raising this child?
Probably not. But it is her child, and she has chosen to keep it. Nobody has the right to remove that child from her as long as the child is being cared for.
My question is, is it better for the 14 year old to be caring for the baby alone, without any support from the child's father, who is in jail? Or for the parents to be together, take joint responsibility for the care, and for both parents to be there.
This man wants to be in his child's life, and if he is going to provide for the child, and be abusive to the little girl, or his wife, then honestly I think that's the best situation for right now.
Notice how a father was never mentioned when referring to the 14 year old, maybe he's not involved in her life, and maybe the mother of the 14 year old didn't want the same for her granddaugher? We don't know the specifics.
None of us can predict the future of what is going to happen to this couple. The marriage could last a year, and the father could leave, or he could choose to remain active in the child's life.
The marriage could last 10, 20, 30 years, however long. We don't know. But the bottom line is, if this man goes to jail, this little baby will never get to know her father.
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| Posted 9/6/05 6:36 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Sorry but i think that the girl should be raising her child with HER PARENTS....
This guy, who IMO is a pedifile, statutory rapist...SO YES, i do think it is better that the child be raised WITHOUT HIM.
OR maybe the baby should be taken away from people that really don't seem to have the intelligence to raise ANY CHILD...
Just because it is the girl's child does not mean she is fit in anyway to raise it....ESPECIALLY with a guy like that ....
ETA....THIS IS A 14 YEAR OLD......NOT A 18 or 21 year old .....
and would your opinions be different if the man was 45?
Message edited 9/6/2005 6:59:04 AM.
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| Posted 9/6/05 6:57 AM |
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Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew
Member since 5/05 14266 total posts
Name:
Jes
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by MissJones
I understand what you are saying. My parents have a 12 year difference too, but had they started dating at 12 and 24, my grandparents would have been up in arms!!!!!!!!!! The younger someone is, the larger the difference seems to be. I don't understand either why a college age guy would WANT to be with a girl. It is disturbing. Again, I wish them luck b/c it's going to be hard.
i completely agree
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| Posted 9/6/05 12:13 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Posted by Redhead
Sorry but i think that the girl should be raising her child with HER PARENTS....
This guy, who IMO is a pedifile, statutory rapist...SO YES, i do think it is better that the child be raised WITHOUT HIM.
OR maybe the baby should be taken away from people that really don't seem to have the intelligence to raise ANY CHILD...
Just because it is the girl's child does not mean she is fit in anyway to raise it....ESPECIALLY with a guy like that ....
ETA....THIS IS A 14 YEAR OLD......NOT A 18 or 21 year old .....
and would your opinions be different if the man was 45?
I agree. What the father did is a crime in most states (including NY). It is rape, fair and simple. If it was a 21 year old man and a 14 year old boy would it be different? or what about a 21 year old woman and 14 year old boy? Its rape.
That being said, it doesn't sound like either, the mother, nor the father of this child is responsible enough to raise a child. A 21 year old man should know better and should stay away from an 13 year old. I think the girl should raise the kid with her parents. I can understand why the consented to the marriage- its less of a stigma if the girl is married- and in the midwest- those are important issues.
Its so sad that this situation occurred- and I hope that child will turn out OK.
Message edited 9/6/2005 12:53:46 PM.
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| Posted 9/6/05 12:52 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
Well, I read the article and was surprised at the ages women are allowed to get married in with the consent of a parent or court-
MINIMUM AGE FOR WOMAN
WASHINGTON- 17
OREGON- 17
CALIFORNIA- NO MINIMUM AGE SPECIFIED
UTAH- 14
TEXAS-14
KANSAS-12
MASSACHUSETTS-12
MISSOURI-15
LOUISANNA-WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS, MUST BE 18 TO MARRY
MISSISSIPPI- NO MIN AGE SPECIFIED
ALABAMA-14
SOUTH CAROLINA- 14
INDIANA-17
NEW HAMPSHIRE- 13
KENTUCKY- NO MIN AGE SPECIFIED
WEST VIRGINIA- NO MIN AGE SPECIFIED
THE REST ARE 16 YEARS OLD!!!!!
Message edited 9/6/2005 3:52:06 PM.
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| Posted 9/6/05 3:51 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Discussion: i read this in People magazine!
My MIL was 14 when she was married and had DH at 15. FIL was 3 years older. totally disfunctional family. finally split up 22 years later.
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| Posted 9/6/05 3:53 PM |
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