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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Hi Ladies,
As some of you may already know, DH & I are in the process of adopting a baby from Korea. Chances are, the baby is going to be a boy because there are more boys for adoption than girls in Korea. Now here comes the tricky part...
DH & I love many of the same girl names, but he will not even talk to me about boy names because he wants the baby to be named after him, his father, and his grandfather. So yes, that means the baby would be the FOURTH! I'm not even inlove with his name to begin with, but even if I was, I just don't like the idea of having a fourth. It's unoriginal to me and honestly, I find it annoying to be with his relatives and to call his name and have half the house turn around. Even his sister used his first name as her son's middle name. It's so like that movie, "Big Fat Greek Wedding."
Anyway, I was very set in my opinion against doing this and was trying to compromise with him (maybe using his first name as a middle name or doing a variation) but now he's saying that he feels it's important for the baby to have the name so that he feels a deep connection to the family bc he's being adopted. I'm just feeling plain guilty right now and want other people's advice on this. Sorry so long....
 Susan
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Posted 1/6/06 2:47 PM  |
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
If we have a boy next time, DH wants to name it Thomas III. It is very confusing between my DH, my FIL and my brother in law is a Tom. I want the baby to have his own identity and not get confused with his father, uncle and grandfather.
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| Posted 1/6/06 2:53 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
You are gonna hate me because I actually like that idea. Especially since hes adopted. What an honor to go down as the fourth in your family. I am sure one day your child will like it. It seems so sentimental.
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| Posted 1/6/06 2:54 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
My girlfriend adopted a baby from Columbia, he is Stephen III. I thought it was great that he has the complete family name.
But it is of course entirely unnecessary. It is cute though, especially since my friend did get pregnant in Columbia when they went to pick little Stephen up...so now it is Stephen, and his little brother Christopher. It is nice though that Stephen is the junior since Christopher looks so much like his dad. They both have their own link.
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| Posted 1/6/06 3:03 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
My dads name is Raymond A.
My Brother is Raymond Anthony
My nephew is Raymond Anthony JR.
Since my dad and brother dont have the same middle name my brother is not a JR.
I always loved the name Michael and wanted to name a boy Michael. My DH is so AGAINST it. He hates the name and hates that when you are in the store 16 people turn around (as he says) I like naming the child after the father I think its very nice BUT its totally up to you and your DH. IMO I would name him the name you DH wants but You could also agree on a name for the middle name and use that.
Like my friend named her daughter Nicole. BUT her ex wanted to name her Carmela after his grandmother. So my friend Changed the birth certificate to say Carmela Nicole but everyone calls her Nicole. Even in School shes Nicole. But carmela is there to make her dad happy.
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| Posted 1/6/06 3:30 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I will have this issue when DH and I have kids. He's the III and wants his son to be the IV. I don't want that at all b/c I don't want to deal with the confusion of having multiple Franks in one household. I don't like the waspy nicknames that half of his family members go by (no Butch, Biff, etc). I'm also Jewish and we don't name children after people who are still alive. I told him the only way we're naming a son after him is if he finds a good nickname to call him (calling him by the middle name is out of the question b/c it's the name of a Swiss watch company that his family used to own). It will definitely be difficult for us to find any name to agree on, but we probably have a few years to figure it out.
I think you should come up with a name you both want. I think it's nice that your DH wants to name your adopted child after him, but if you don't like it, you shouldn't agree to it.
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| Posted 1/6/06 4:12 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by MrsS2005
I will have this issue when DH and I have kids. He's the III and wants his son to be the IV. I don't want that at all b/c I don't want to deal with the confusion of having multiple Franks in one household. I don't like the waspy nicknames that half of his family members go by (no Butch, Biff, etc). I'm also Jewish and we don't name children after people who are still alive. I told him the only way we're naming a son after him is if he finds a good nickname to call him (calling him by the middle name is out of the question b/c it's the name of a Swiss watch company that his family used to own). It will definitely be difficult for us to find any name to agree on, but we probably have a few years to figure it out.
I think you should come up with a name you both want. I think it's nice that your DH wants to name your adopted child after him, but if you don't like it, you shouldn't agree to it.
See I think then one of you should pick the first and the other one should pick the middle name why should he have pick of both names LOL he should get one and you should get one 
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| Posted 1/6/06 5:47 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
See, that was my compromise. I said that I thought it would be a nice gesture to use his first name as the baby's middle name instead of giving him the same exact name, but he said that defeated the purpose. It's obvious that it means alot to him, and I think a big reason is bc he's afraid to confront his family about it. His family is just assuming that we'll continue this tradition. His family is already heartbroken that since I've met their little Italian boy, I've convinced him to move out of the hometown he lived in for 30+ years, and I've converted him into a vegetarian (no meatballs  !) , and now their grandson is not going to be Italian. If we don't continue the naming tradition, it'll probably throw them over the edge. But let me tell you something that even my DH would agree on, I don't exactly want to name my son after my FIL. I can't stand him. I would much rather name our son after my father if we're going to be naming after anyone. It's nice to see both sides of the fence represented on this thread though. I definitely have a lot to think about. I definitely like the sentimentality of it all, esp given the fact that the baby will be adopted. Thanks for your opinions. I truly appreciate it!
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| Posted 1/6/06 6:02 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
ok we are having this fight now... we are having our son in March and after this im getting my tubes tied so it will be FH's only son. his name, his fathers name, and his grandfathers are all named Thomas Joseph ......and yes Fh wants the baby to be named Thomas......BUT he dose not want a 3rd so we are giving him a different middle name but im not thrilled its all so confusing especially as they get older...what makes matters worse is Fh is Thomas and my name is Thomasina
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| Posted 1/6/06 6:10 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by momAGAIN
ok we are having this fight now... we are having our son in March and after this im getting my tubes tied so it will be FH's only son. his name, his fathers name, and his grandfathers are all named Thomas Joseph ......and yes Fh wants the baby to be named Thomas......BUT he dose not want a 3rd so we are giving him a different middle name but im not thrilled its all so confusing especially as they get older...what makes matters worse is Fh is Thomas and my name is Thomasina
Sorry, but you have to see the humor in this.  I actually like the name Thomas Joseph. That was my compromise name. My dad's name and his name. How about you do Joseph Thomas and I do Thomas Joseph and that way nobody will confuse our sons with our husbands, ourselves, our parents or our inlaws!
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| Posted 1/6/06 6:19 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
One more thing, I don't think it's as bad when there's a different middle name. it's this whole 4th thing that's throwing me off. It just sounds too much like a king.
Joseph Louis the Fourth!
AAAAAAAAAH! 
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| Posted 1/6/06 6:21 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by Susan
Hi Ladies,
As some of you may already know, DH & I are in the process of adopting a baby from Korea. Chances are, the baby is going to be a boy because there are more boys for adoption than girls in Korea. Now here comes the tricky part...
DH & I love many of the same girl names, but he will not even talk to me about boy names because he wants the baby to be named after him, his father, and his grandfather. So yes, that means the baby would be the FOURTH! I'm not even inlove with his name to begin with, but even if I was, I just don't like the idea of having a fourth. It's unoriginal to me and honestly, I find it annoying to be with his relatives and to call his name and have half the house turn around. Even his sister used his first name as her son's middle name. It's so like that movie, "Big Fat Greek Wedding."
Anyway, I was very set in my opinion against doing this and was trying to compromise with him (maybe using his first name as a middle name or doing a variation) but now he's saying that he feels it's important for the baby to have the name so that he feels a deep connection to the family bc he's being adopted. I'm just feeling plain guilty right now and want other people's advice on this. Sorry so long....
Susan
Try this website: http://babynamewizard.com/namevoyager/lnv0105.html
It is an awesome website for baby names
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| Posted 1/6/06 6:39 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by Susan
Posted by momAGAIN
ok we are having this fight now... we are having our son in March and after this im getting my tubes tied so it will be FH's only son. his name, his fathers name, and his grandfathers are all named Thomas Joseph ......and yes Fh wants the baby to be named Thomas......BUT he dose not want a 3rd so we are giving him a different middle name but im not thrilled its all so confusing especially as they get older...what makes matters worse is Fh is Thomas and my name is Thomasina
Sorry, but you have to see the humor in this. I actually like the name Thomas Joseph. That was my compromise name. My dad's name and his name. How about you do Joseph Thomas and I do Thomas Joseph and that way nobody will confuse our sons with our husbands, ourselves, our parents or our inlaws!
ok it gets worse not only is Fh Thomas Joseph and half his family but my full name is Thomasina Josephine what are the chances of THAT LOL !!!!! well i am giving in first name Thomas but his middle name is still up in the air i wanted Francesco after my dad , we will see (poor kid) lol Fh originally wanted Joseph (his Bf died in 9/11 and was named joe) I flat out refuse a joe, its not "me" lol omg i guess we will be adding to more tommy's to the world
Fil is tom ,FH is Tommy and im Tj so there are no nicknamees left for this poor kid lol !!!!!
good luck!!!!
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| Posted 1/6/06 7:03 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I hear you i hate the 1st 2nd 3rd thing it sounds like a rich snob LOL like he should be wearing checkered pants and a tennis sweater!! lol
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| Posted 1/6/06 7:06 PM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
OMG, I literally just peed in my pants. I read the checkered pants/tennis sweater thing to my husband and even HE was cracking up! I cannot BELIEVE you and your husband's names are so similar. Your life is even MORE similar to My Big Fat Greek Wedding than ours is. I'm so happy I posted here. I'm laughing so hard. THANKS!
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| Posted 1/6/06 7:34 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
good luck with the name!!! and more importantly your new addition. cant wait to see pics!!!! Best of luck!!!! ...i will post pics of "my Thomas" in March LOL
Message edited 1/6/2006 7:49:09 PM.
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| Posted 1/6/06 7:48 PM |
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thewinterone
You make me happy
Member since 5/05 2474 total posts
Name:
cause you are gray.
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I was completely on your side until.....
Posted by Suan
but now he's saying that he feels it's important for the baby to have the name so that he feels a deep connection to the family bc he's being adopted.
He got me, I would give in.
Best of luck for the rest of the process
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| Posted 1/7/06 5:18 AM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by momAGAIN
good luck with the name!!! and more importantly your new addition. cant wait to see pics!!!! Best of luck!!!! ...i will post pics of "my Thomas" in March LOL
Good luck to you too, Thomasina ... and to your DH Thomas ... and your Thomas to be. Can't wait to see pictures. At least your last name isn't Thompson!
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| Posted 1/7/06 10:29 AM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by woozshle
I was completely on your side until.....
Posted by Suan
but now he's saying that he feels it's important for the baby to have the name so that he feels a deep connection to the family bc he's being adopted.
He got me, I would give in.
Best of luck for the rest of the process
I know, I can't even tell him I won't consider it now. He's good, isn't he? If I was pregnant, it would be worth the fight, but ..... he knows how to tug at my heartstrings. Thanks again everyone!
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| Posted 1/7/06 10:30 AM |
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I'm definitely not a fan of doing family names myself. I don't like the fact that the child never has their own originality. My step son is named after his father and it's always "Little D" or the other multitudes of nicknames referring to his father. I don't mind the idea of using it as a middle name though and I don't see a problem with that. I think it's more so an ego thing with guys than anything.
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| Posted 1/7/06 12:09 PM |
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momAGAIN
so outrageous
Member since 7/05 3853 total posts
Name:
TJ
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
Posted by Susan
Posted by momAGAIN
good luck with the name!!! and more importantly your new addition. cant wait to see pics!!!! Best of luck!!!! ...i will post pics of "my Thomas" in March LOL
Good luck to you too, Thomasina ... and to your DH Thomas ... and your Thomas to be. Can't wait to see pictures. At least your last name isn't Thompson!
o my that would be the worst!!!
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| Posted 1/7/06 3:27 PM |
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TheWalshs
LIF Infant
Member since 12/05 143 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
DH is a 3rd, and i know we will have a 4th.
i always thought it was kind of dorky when i was younger, but i know how important it is to DH, he is so proud to be a 3rd........
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| Posted 1/7/06 6:00 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I think because it means so much than you're going to have to give in on this one. I say it because sometimes it's just not worth the fight.
My husband played the dead father card for our son's name(Vincent Joseph). I fought it tooth & nail. He FINALLY relented to reverse the names to Joseph Vincent, which I didn't like either. There were so many hard feelings over this... In the end, the name Joseph just grew on me and now it's ok.
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| Posted 1/7/06 6:33 PM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
I think if it is important to you DH...then i think you should do it.
Sometimes i think we have think of what is important to our DH, ,pre than our own feelings
And imo this is one of them
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| Posted 1/7/06 8:23 PM |
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NShoreMommy
LIF Infant
Member since 12/05 128 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice Needed Re: Baby Names
DH's family always assumed that we would name our boy after his father and DH. I like the name so that really wasn't an issue. But MIL would always say "and of course your son's name will be the family name", which kind of ****** me off, like I was being told what to name my child. I really never made an issue out of it though. BUT when DH wanted to have the middle name be his father's, I said NO WAY!! It is some stupid old Italian name and it is REALLY awful. And there was no way that I was naming my child completely after his father. In the end I picked the middle name, which I think is fair. I hope you can both agree on a name...but it may not be worth it, if the name isn't too awful, to fight over this. 
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| Posted 1/8/06 10:33 AM |
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