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Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug

Member since 5/05

11357 total posts

Name:
Kathy

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

Posted by CAJ

I am sure he didnt say it for the shock value, maybe take his suggestion with open arms because he loves you....Chat Icon



I'd tend to agree.
IMO, drinking every day is too much.
He's just worried about you.

Posted 3/23/06 10:59 AM
 
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)

Member since 5/05

19978 total posts

Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

Posted by Lolita4Life

oakslady.... you are assuming i have a "problem" which i dont. thats what im trying to prove.

i already told him im off drink for a while.

and i dont drink everyday, he is exaggerating.

it bothers me that he is ACTING like i drink alot. its in his head. i think its that if im not drinking WITH him then he thinks its not good.



my first thought here was that you guys have a miscommunication problem...and I don't think your age difference is helping here. I would suggest sitting down and having a conversation...?

Posted 3/23/06 11:05 AM
 

Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew

Member since 5/05

14266 total posts

Name:
Jes

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

i think as long as i stop for awhile....... which i have, then he will see its all fine. it just happened i "drank" alot last week....
but it was for example, with dinner almost everynight. i met up with some friends a few times last week, which is alot more than normal. and we didnt go out to 'get drunk'. we went to talk over a drink. i think theres a big difference. ho hum.

Posted 3/23/06 11:46 AM
 

nferrandi
too excited for words

Member since 10/05

18538 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

I honestly wouldn't be overly concerned with what he said. There is a big age difference between the two of you and there are bound to be things you don't see eye to eye on and I think this is one of them. I think it's pretty nromal to a drink a couple times a week at 22 and to occasionally have a little too much to drink when you're with friends. And like you said, it just so happens that you've been drinking a little more than usual lately, but that's just a passing phase. DH and I felt like binge drinkers the entire month of January. It was someone's b-day every weekend and then to Super Bowl, so we were drinking A LOT. It doesn't mean we're alcholics, it just means that the circumstances called for us to party a little more than usaul. I don't see the big deal.

Posted 3/23/06 12:35 PM
 

MsMBV
:P

Member since 5/05

28602 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

Jes when I was bartending I drank every day for the whole 13 years that I worked behind the bar. It didn't phase me in the slightest. Now that I am in my 30's and have stopped drinking everyday, I am finding that I have residual health problems from drinking so much. It is not like I got drunk every single day - in fact it was a very rare occasion that I got drunk at all, but the constant inflow of alcohol does affect your body whether it is alot all at once or a little over a long period of time. some suggestions, make a bottle of *fake shots* for your clients to buy you. This way they still feel good abotu drinking & think you are fun to party with. Or if you do not want to make fake shots INSIST on chasing it with a coke w/no ice. Spit the shot into the soda. and then toss out the chaser. No one would even think that you did not drink the shot.Chat Icon

I understand why he might be concerned, and these things may help to ease his mind.


Posted by dpli

I think people who work in the bar/restaurant industry have a much different perspective on this than those who don't. I know people who work in restaurants and it is pretty common to hang out for an hour or so after work and have drinks with co-workers. That is so far from my daily routine that it is hard for me to imagine.

The other factor could be that your DH is a bit older than you. As other people said, I went out 4 or 5 nights a week when I was 20-21, but I have to rally to go out on a weekend these days. I think though, if it is creating a strain on your relationship, it would be wise to cut back a bit, even if you don't think you have a problem.

Posted 3/23/06 12:35 PM
 

ggt08
;)

Member since 5/05

5208 total posts

Name:

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

jess, you totally remind me of when i was 22.... i was out a lot and I got drunk at times- not to get drunk but i went out a lot and had drinks... i also bartend and although it is not part of the job, we bartenders tend to have a few while we work and after....i follow your stories and you bring me back to my 20's... I am 32 now and I dont know how I functioned the way I did... its a phase.. there was a time when i went a little excessive... i wouldnt get too crazy... maybe lay low for a little.. you have to rest up for the summer!!!!!
Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 3/23/06 9:32 PM
 

lullabella
LIF Adult

Member since 5/05

2246 total posts

Name:

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

Posted by oakslady

having a drink every day is too much - and i dont think your age excuses the problem nor do i think going out with friends is a reason to get "really drunk " i think you are trying to rationalize it to yourself-
if your husband felt it was bad enough that he needed to say something you should listen to him -
try writing down how many time you are drinking - i come from an alcoholic family and can tell you sometimes people who are drinking dont realize how much they actually are having.
if you dont need to drink then stop - especially comming from this kind of background - why set yourself up for it?



I guess I am a lush because I have a glass of wine almost every night Chat Icon Chat Icon

Never mind what I drank when I was 22!!!Chat Icon

Message edited 3/23/2006 9:39:44 PM.

Posted 3/23/06 9:39 PM
 

ggt08
;)

Member since 5/05

5208 total posts

Name:

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

Posted by oakslady

having a drink every day is too much - and i dont think your age excuses the problem nor do i think going out with friends is a reason to get "really drunk " i think you are trying to rationalize it to yourself-
if your husband felt it was bad enough that he needed to say something you should listen to him -
try writing down how many time you are drinking - i come from an alcoholic family and can tell you sometimes people who are drinking dont realize how much they actually are having.
if you dont need to drink then stop - especially comming from this kind of background - why set yourself up for it?




your age doesnt excuse it but many of us at 22 did the same thing. I know my life was a lot different at 22 than now at 32. and i went out with friends all the time, not to intentionally go out and get drunk but we would hit the bars and clubs.... thats what a lot of us did.

my marriage broke up because of alcoholism.. so i know what it can do... like you said, you already are taking a break...and your husband loves you enough to say something... but like i said before you are not the first one to go through this nor the last.....

Posted 3/23/06 10:22 PM
 

kms717
St Philomena Protect My Son

Member since 2/06

2747 total posts

Name:
Kelly

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

I worked in the bar industry for over 4 years and I've seen it take it's toll on people. Everyday seems like a lot to me. I know that people want to buy you drinks at work and you don't want to turn down the sale and tip, but since I'm not a drinker I used to have them buy me the energy drinks we sold or bottled water. Considering your family history, slowing down might not be a bad idea.

Good luck,
Kelly

Posted 3/24/06 12:15 AM
 

Jesaroo
is not the girl you knew

Member since 5/05

14266 total posts

Name:
Jes

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

yeah dh came to the bar last night and was like "what do yiu want to drink?"
i was like Chat Icon "i'm OFF drink"
he was like "oh yeah"
Chat Icon idiot! lol

ill just lay low for a while to "prove" im in 110% total control.


i think he realizes he definatly overreacted though

Chat Icon

Message edited 3/24/2006 2:00:08 PM.

Posted 3/24/06 1:59 PM
 

JenniferEver
The Disney Lady

Member since 5/05

18163 total posts

Name:
Jennifer

Re: Wow! DH just said something shocking.........

I think taking a month "break" is a good idea. Not only will it dispell all thoughts in your mind and his that you may have chance of having a problem, but it might show you if there is anything the drinking is taking away from your life, like do you feel better not drinking, more alert, no hangover, etc. Or maybe you'll feel the same and it won't matter. I think drinking every day CAN be a problem if it leads to being drunk every time or if there's a dependence there, but like many other posters have said, you're 22, so drinking every day or nearly is a pretty "normal" activity. I think it's important to heed DH's comment, howevermuch he may be overreacting. Since youy do have alcoholism in your family (and it has been shown to have a genetic component), it's best to nip any problems that may occur in the bud, and maybe cut down on drinking a little just as a precautionary measure. People don't become alcoholics overnight, there was always a period for them where drinking was not a problem at all, and they just drank to have fun like the rest of us. I'm not saying you have a problem, or you will, but like many others I've seen the damage alcoholism can cause, and i think your DH is just trying to protect you...

Message edited 3/24/2006 3:28:05 PM.

Posted 3/24/06 3:27 PM
 
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