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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: HATE my husband right now
:hug
DH went out to look @ cars and ended up buying one! This was a few years ago, his lease was almost up, but didnt take me to the shop with him, took his dad! Called me from tehe dealer and said "I just signed the papers". Big freakin' deal is what went thru my mind! Men, dont get it sometimes and it is frusturating!
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Posted 10/12/05 10:25 PM |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: HATE my husband right now
Posted by Sassyz75
I would be p.o'd if my husband bought a plasma TV without consulting me.
We don't make any purchases over $100 without speaking to eachother about it first (unless it's an Xmas/Bday present for the other)
This is the beauty of separate accounts. She has her money... i have mine.
This prevents us from having any of those "I can't believe you bought ...... " arguements.
She is not going to tell me how to spend my money that I make when I am busting my *** working 30 extra hours a week DJing.
Being king of the finances has its advantages.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:30 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: HATE my husband right now
And speaking of beds... maybe a month or two after she moved in with me... I went out and bought a new matress and king sized bed. Didn't consult her on that one either.
I spent about $2200 on it. Not a word from her on it either (especially now that she gets extra ZZZZZzzzzzs every night from the upgraded bed).
I'll say it again... king sized beds RULE.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:33 PM |
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dengal
Dad of Twins
Member since 5/05 1385 total posts
Name: The 80's Man Let's Go Mets!
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Re: HATE my husband right now
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Sassyz75
I would be p.o'd if my husband bought a plasma TV without consulting me.
We don't make any purchases over $100 without speaking to eachother about it first (unless it's an Xmas/Bday present for the other)
This is the beauty of separate accounts. She has her money... i have mine.
This prevents us from having any of those "I can't believe you bought ...... " arguements.
Ditto for us
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Posted 10/12/05 10:33 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: HATE my husband right now
We have separate accounts as well.. but one JOINT account for household purchases.
I know what you guys are saying, its your account, your money, yadda yadda.. BUT when it comes to an EXPENSIVE item, I still think as a MARRIED COUPLE you should consult one another on those sorts of things (unless its a gift for the other person). ANthony knows he can buy whatever he wants for himself, but at the same time out of respect to me and our finances, etc, I would prefer that he TELL Me before he would go out and buy a TV or a BED (something that inevitably affects BOTH of us)
JMO
PS: ANd YES , KING beds do RULE... but that still isn't the point
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Posted 10/12/05 10:36 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: HATE my husband right now
Posted by FeliciaDP
We have separate accounts as well.. but one JOINT account for household purchases.
I know what you guys are saying, its your account, your money, yadda yadda.. BUT when it comes to an EXPENSIVE item, I still think as a MARRIED COUPLE you should consult one another on those sorts of things (unless its a gift for the other person). ANthony knows he can buy whatever he wants for himself, but at the same time out of respect to me and our finances, etc, I would prefer that he TELL Me before he would go out and buy a TV or a BED (something that inevitably affects BOTH of us)
JMO
PS: ANd YES , KING beds do RULE... but that still isn't the point
I could tell her for the formality of it.... but she will never say to me "don't get it". She may roll her eyes every now and then... but it will never be a tear-jerking arguement, thats for damm sure.
Its a matter of respect as far as I am concerned and I will explain what I mean.
If people make similar salaries... put in money for a joint account for expenses... fine.
But I make significantly more than my wife does on just my salary alone. If we take away both cars since she pays for hers and I pay for mine... I pay at least 80% of the bills... and I pay ALL the housing bills. I will also be paying for ALL of the new house bills when we close on our house.
If I can manage to take care of practically ALL the house bills... if I want to go out and get something for myself and I feel that I can afford to get it... i am going to get it. End of story.
Then take the DJing into consideration. I am working an extra 30 hours a week DJing for even more extra cash that I feel that i can piss away as I so please. If I can't do this... whats the point of me working these extra hours to have someone tell me what to do with the money? Sorry... not worth it for me.
I make sure my wife lives VERY WELL before I go out and buy crap for myself. I lived very well when I was single... I want her to be the same way.
And even though we have separate accounts, she is always buming money off me to buy herself stuff.
Its just the way we work. I'll be honest... my wife knew I was going to get a second plasma at some point. Hell she WANTED the plasma for the bedroom cause her eyes **** and she can't see the 27" we have in there currently.
But case and point... if I want something... i am going to get it. Yeah I will probably tell my wife in advance if I am going to get something major.... but I don't HAVE to.
It may sound shytty to some people on here... but my wife is VERY grateful for what we have and she will never sweat the petty stuff.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:45 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: HATE my husband right now
I also want to add that anything I buy... is paid in CASH.
I do not believe in credit cards... or anything like that. If it can't be paid in full at the time of purchase... it doesn't get bought.
I can understand if I go out and make a $4000 purchase for something for myself... and complaining about it if the baby has no clothes or we don't have food on the table.
But I always make sure everything is good with the family before I treat myself to anything.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:52 PM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name: Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: HATE my husband right now
Posted by DjPiLL
Posted by Sassyz75
I would be p.o'd if my husband bought a plasma TV without consulting me.
We don't make any purchases over $100 without speaking to eachother about it first (unless it's an Xmas/Bday present for the other)
This is the beauty of separate accounts. She has her money... i have mine.
This prevents us from having any of those "I can't believe you bought ...... " arguements.
She is not going to tell me how to spend my money that I make when I am busting my *** working 30 extra hours a week DJing.
Being king of the finances has its advantages.
We do NOT have seperate accounts. Therefore, like Dina, my DH and I discuss major purchases. It was just inconsiderate.
So, I went out in the pouring rain and bought a king size set and the bed was delivered about 930...long.....rainy..tiring day. I'll post a pic of the set.
Just want to say, Hate is a strong word and I take it back. He just realllllllly pi$$ed me off!!! Image Attachment(s):
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Posted 10/12/05 10:52 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name: Sonia
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Re: HATE my husband right now
But I make significantly more than my wife does on just my salary alone. If we take away both cars since she pays for hers and I pay for mine... I pay at least 80% of the bills... and I pay ALL the housing bills. I will also be paying for ALL of the new house bills when we close on our house.
If I can manage to take care of practically ALL the house bills... if I want to go out and get something for myself and I feel that I can afford to get it... i am going to get it. End of story.
I would have to say that if I paid 80% of HH billls and everything else then I would probably feel the same way. Dh can buy whatever he wants as long as he's not using savings money to do so. Diffrent strokes for different folks. DH and I had seperate accounts and we didn't like it. If I was used to him buying stuff all the time before consulting me then hey...I'd be used to it. But if we consulted w/ each other most of the time beofre making large purchases then I'd be pretty pi$$ed off that he made a big purchase w/out letting me know about it first.
Message edited 10/12/2005 10:55:36 PM.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:53 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by MrsTC
We do NOT have seperate accounts. Therefore, like Dina, my DH and I discuss major purchases. It was just inconsiderate.
So, I went out in the pouring rain and bought a king size set and the bed was delivered about 930...long.....rainy..tiring day. I'll post a pic of the set.
Just want to say, Hate is a strong word and I take it back. He just realllllllly pi$$ed me off!!!
Well thats the point I was trying to make. I don't think a bed that would benefit both of you would cause you to hate your husband and be a tear jerker.
Trust me when i say you will be happy. Don't you own a house? Why don't you move the old queen bed into a guest room along with the nice queen bed set you previously bought. Would make for a nice looking room for a guest. Problem solved.
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Posted 10/12/05 10:57 PM |
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FeliciaDP
♥
Member since 5/05 18599 total posts
Name: Mommy
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Beautiful bedding, Jenn .. glad things are better tonight
And Rich... no arguments , really.. I understand your points totally. I never meant to imply that your bills weren't getting paid and your wife was suffering as a result of you spending YOUR money on purchases outside of the necessities.
I was just trying to defend the position that for SOME of us, it is not unreasonable to be a bit upset/aggravated if their spouse/SO were to go and do something like Jenn's DH did ... its just a bit upsetting is all. Asking your spouse what they think before doing something as big as changing a bedroom around (which requires more purchases such as bedding ,etc) just makes more sense to me in the end
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Posted 10/12/05 10:59 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name: And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
as another male, i gotta weigh in here
rich, my man, i respect the he!! out of ya, and if you guys have a system that works for you, all the more power to you.
I know for us, when it comes to little purchases like clothes and stuff, we don't ask permission. We both see the bills every month so there are no surprises. We tell each other if we buy a CD or DVD, or some clothes, but it's never like asking permission. It's just a courtesy.
In things which involve the house or the car (i.e. big purchases that will impact both of us), we talk about it before doing it. In this case, I don't think it was so much the money. It was more the case where she had bought a certain bedroom set, and he disregarded and bought what he wanted. Whether or not king sized bed are better (which they are IMO), it was just a matter of not consulting the other half on something that would impact her.
We all have our different systems. I can see where the breakdown in communication would be annoying
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Posted 10/12/05 11:01 PM |
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DjPiLL
Member since 5/05 3664 total posts
Name: Richard
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by FeliciaDP
Beautiful bedding, Jenn .. glad things are better tonight
And Rich... no arguments , really.. I understand your points totally. I never meant to imply that your bills weren't getting paid and your wife was suffering as a result of you spending YOUR money on purchases outside of the necessities.
I was just trying to defend the position that for SOME of us, it is not unreasonable to be a bit upset/aggravated if their spouse/SO were to go and do something like Jenn's DH did ... its just a bit upsetting is all. Asking your spouse what they think before doing something as big as changing a bedroom around (which requires more purchases such as bedding ,etc) just makes more sense to me in the end
I hear ya Flee. Don't worry about it. I am not even sure if my plasma is going to actually ship cause I got a killer deal on it (might have been a price mistake on the website cause the price went up $800 an hour after I ordered it). If I would have tried to "consult" with the wife like a few other guys did on the website I bought it from... I would have missed out on the deal.
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Posted 10/12/05 11:03 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
as another male, i gotta weigh in here
rich, my man, i respect the he!! out of ya, and if you guys have a system that works for you, all the more power to you.
I know for us, when it comes to little purchases like clothes and stuff, we don't ask permission. We both see the bills every month so there are no surprises. We tell each other if we buy a CD or DVD, or some clothes, but it's never like asking permission. It's just a courtesy.
In things which involve the house or the car (i.e. big purchases that will impact both of us), we talk about it before doing it. In this case, I don't think it was so much the money. It was more the case where she had bought a certain bedroom set, and he disregarded and bought what he wanted. Whether or not king sized bed are better (which they are IMO), it was just a matter of not consulting the other half on something that would impact her.
We all have our different systems. I can see where the breakdown in communication would be annoying
i agree on all accounts
(though, i would also be excited if DH surprised me with a King bed.... thats Besides the point!!! )
Message edited 10/12/2005 11:06:41 PM.
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Posted 10/12/05 11:06 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name: And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by neeniebean86
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
as another male, i gotta weigh in here
rich, my man, i respect the he!! out of ya, and if you guys have a system that works for you, all the more power to you.
I know for us, when it comes to little purchases like clothes and stuff, we don't ask permission. We both see the bills every month so there are no surprises. We tell each other if we buy a CD or DVD, or some clothes, but it's never like asking permission. It's just a courtesy.
In things which involve the house or the car (i.e. big purchases that will impact both of us), we talk about it before doing it. In this case, I don't think it was so much the money. It was more the case where she had bought a certain bedroom set, and he disregarded and bought what he wanted. Whether or not king sized bed are better (which they are IMO), it was just a matter of not consulting the other half on something that would impact her.
We all have our different systems. I can see where the breakdown in communication would be annoying
i agree on all accounts
(though, i would also be excited if DH surprised me with a King bed.... thats Besides the point!!! )
with jet linens??
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Posted 10/12/05 11:07 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by CaptainCharisma424 with jet linens??
yup... and Pillow cases that have the quarterbacks name on it, so we can change them weekly, as the roster changes
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Posted 10/12/05 11:11 PM |
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Leeners
:)
Member since 5/05 4898 total posts
Name: Eileen
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Re: STRONGLY DISLIKE (lol) my husband right now
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
as another male, i gotta weigh in here
rich, my man, i respect the he!! out of ya, and if you guys have a system that works for you, all the more power to you.
I know for us, when it comes to little purchases like clothes and stuff, we don't ask permission. We both see the bills every month so there are no surprises. We tell each other if we buy a CD or DVD, or some clothes, but it's never like asking permission. It's just a courtesy.
In things which involve the house or the car (i.e. big purchases that will impact both of us), we talk about it before doing it. In this case, I don't think it was so much the money. It was more the case where she had bought a certain bedroom set, and he disregarded and bought what he wanted. Whether or not king sized bed are better (which they are IMO), it was just a matter of not consulting the other half on something that would impact her.
We all have our different systems. I can see where the breakdown in communication would be annoying
Thank you Don - it's good to see that some men get it
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Posted 10/13/05 9:28 AM |
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