I'm having a baby!! (my long update) ***update on one of the pages.. 9 I think...

Yes .. we found a carrier. We really lucked out with this one. She's funny, loves cats, she's a huge message board junkie , oh.. and she's ME!! Yup. I'm pregnant!!

I'll start with a brief synopsis of the journey that brought us here for anyone who doesn't know. All of my pregnancies were through fertility treatments and mostly with the same doctor. I had a loss at 17wk3d, then went on to have a chemical, followed by triplets who we lost at 8wks, and then my pregnancy last year which also ended in miscarriage in the 7th week. After all was said and done, my lining became dreadfully thin. In my RE's opinion, my lining (which was in the 5s and not triple layered) put us at great risk for future miscarriages or 3rd trimester complications if we even made it that far. He strongly recommended gestational surrogacy in light of the fact that the cells of my uterus were stripped away and would not regenerate itself. I went to numerous second opinions, all who said, "YES if those cells are stripped away it won't regenerate but there's no guarantee that this is what happened to you!" .. At the time, I just couldn't hear it. I trusted my RE so much and decided that if this is what he felt, it must be true. Regardless, I just wanted to start our family and I didn't have the strength or stamina to go through more cycles and more heartache with a lining that was so thin! I was told t that gestational surrogacy would help us move on with our lives the fastest, and in infertile land, that's like offering a woman in a dessert a lifetime supply of water!

So... we found my surrogate through the same agency Giuliana & Bill used, who is the most amazing woman I have ever met. Ever. I updated a lot during that time and many of you may remember we had 2 canceled cycles because as luck would have it, her lining was even THINNER! It was worse than mine. How in the world I managed to find a surrogate with a lining worse than mine is beyond me, but I felt like I was just doomed. I felt like I was so infertile that I couldn't even get a surrogate's lining to thicken. Besides that one little detail, I love her.. and breaking our surrogacy relationship was EXTREMELY hard for both of us.. but to this day we have remained extremely close and I'll actually be visiting her soon! She wants to remain a big part of this pregnancy and I can't wait to have her in a picture next to me at my shower one day! She's actually one of the most important parts of this journey because if not for her lining, I may not be the one carrying!

Anyway, onto the interesting stuff... When her lining was so bad, I didn't know what to do. I'm always 10 steps ahead of the game but when this happened, I had no plan b. I asked my agency how long it would take to find another surrogate and they told me it could take 5-6 months... and then it takes even LONGER to get all the legal fees squared away and get a cycle started. I wanted to vomit. That very day, I called up SIRM in NYC and made an appt with Dr.Tortoriello. I had no idea if I was making any sense at this point but I just couldn't sit and do nothing for 6 months waiting for another hero to come along.

We went to our consult, and I'll never forget those words. We had a sono that day just so Dr.T could see just how bad my lining really was... Well, it was a 7 and triple layered and he says, "Congratulations, your lining is better than your surrogates!" My husband and I held each other and cried. It was amazing. Suddenly my dreams of becoming a mother and actually CARRYING my baby were flashing before my eyes as a viable possibility. Suddenly, it all just seemed to make sense. He said my lining was absolutely workable!

We decided to start a fresh IVF cycle. Much to my surprise, my lining BETTER than repaired itself. I was at a 10 and triple layered!!!!!!!!!!!! My lining which I was told was probably doomed for life was now even better than it was before we even started our journey!!!! I was on fewer drugs than I had ever been on before and I asked Dr.T a few times if he was sure I wouldn't need viagra for my lining because I ALWAYS had before.. he said no .. and I trusted him the whole way through. It was just absolutely amazing how lower doses of drugs caused a better response, and not only that... I FELT more like myself too! I was able to trigger with HCG instead of lupron and didn't get that horrible bloat from hyperstimming the way I did with my previous cycles. It almost didn't even feel like I was doing IVF! We did CGH (genetic testing) on my embryos and transferred 2 genetically normal hatching blasts.

Today, I got my second doubling beta and I am officially PREGNANT!! I wasn't sure when I should update this board. Originally I said 8wks, then 6wks, but really, I already feel like a success story. My lining was terrible and I was told I shouldn't carry but as you can see, that's not the case anymore. Miracles happen. Time off does wonders. A different perspective, another set of eyes, the courage to move on ... it all did the trick for me and I have nothing but RAVES to say about my new doctor and his entire staff!!

I have no idea what lies ahead for me. I can only hope that this is truly "our time" and we will take home a baby by August 25th (my due date)... but no matter what, this cycle gave me possibilities I thought were taken from me. I'm just so grateful for this day and I just couldn't wait to share with it with all of you.

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Message edited 1/10/2013 12:27:06 PM.

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Holy Crap!!! I was just stalking you and saw your post!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! So extremely happy and excited for you!

You will have everyone of my until August 25th when you are holding your baby!!!!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

OMG!!!!!!!!

That is amazing, awesome, wonderful news!!!!!!!! I am sooooooo happy for you!!!!!!! I hope you have the BEST and happiest nine months!!!!!! What a wonderful way to end 2012!! Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

OMG!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

This is such AMAZING news!!! I'm am absolutely ecstatic for you and DH!!!!! Nobody deserves this more than you!! I wish you the happiest and healthiest pregnancy!!!!!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

OMG!!!! Congrats!!!!! SO HAPPY FOR YOU

I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Mazel, ,mazel and a million mazels! I am so excited for you and yay for August!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

I am SO excited for you! Congratulations!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Don't think I'm nuts but I had a feeling you were!!!!!! Praise God and congrats.

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Though I can't physically do cartwheels I am doing mental ones for you...THIS IS BEYOND FABULOUS NEWS!!!!!

I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Crashing...just wanted to say CONGRATS a thousand times!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Amazing news!!!!!

I'm so thrilled for you!!!!!!!

I will continue to keep you in my good thoughts!!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Congrats!!! So happy for you!!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Congratulations! Wonderful news. No one deserves this more than you!

I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

This makes me so happy!!!!! I can't even tell you happy I am for you - CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

I am truly happy for you I have never meant u but have been following your story I cried when reading this..... Best of luck..

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Holy shiznick!!!! I am so happy for you! Healthy and happy 9 months!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

OMG!!!!! Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you. Wishing you a happy + healthy pregnancy

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Holy crap!!!!! I am BEYOND happy for you You have always been wonderful & supportive on this board and I've been waiting for a happy update from you. Congratulations and happy and healthy 9 months! You are living proof to continue to be hopeful in this journey. I wish you all the best

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

best Christmas wish ever

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Congrats, I'm so happy for you

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

I don't even know what to say. I don't know you, but have followed your story and feel sheer joy for you! CONGRATULATIONS!! I will keep you in my prayers for a nice healthy pregnancy and delivery of YOUR BABY next August

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Wow..I am speechless. Congratulations hardly seems like enough. I have read some of your journey and have hoped for you that a you could make a post like this someday. Will be praying for you!

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

this post DEF gave me a virtual O

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

This is AMAZING news! I am so thrilled and excited for you. You so deserve this and I wish you a happy, healthy and stress free pregnancy. You've made my night reading this! Congratulations a million times over. A true Christmas blessing.

Re: I'm having a baby!! (my long update)

Crashing to say that I am sooooooooooo happy for you!!! What beautiful and amazing news! I had a smile on my face the whole time I was reading your story!!! Congrats!!!!!!!