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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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They/Them
Do your kids speak using They/Them pronouns? I noticed my son was doing this yesterday. He was saying a story about a kid and he was using they and them instead of he/she.
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Posted 2/16/22 11:26 AM  |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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They/Them
Yes. How old is your son? My daughter is 13 and since about 12, she's been very conscious of people's pronouns. If someone is "gender fluid" in any way, she uses "they/them". She is much more liberal than I am! It confuses me. I sometimes have to think "wait, is that a group of kids? Who is she referring to?"
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| Posted 2/16/22 11:48 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: They/Them
DD is 15 and she uses those pronouns, as well as the requested pronouns of her friends and classmates. Some of her friends are fluid or transgender.
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| Posted 2/16/22 11:58 AM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: They/Them
Posted by nycbuslady
Yes. How old is your son? My daughter is 13 and since about 12, she's been very conscious of people's pronouns. If someone is "gender fluid" in any way, she uses "they/them". She is much more liberal than I am! It confuses me. I sometimes have to think "wait, is that a group of kids? Who is she referring to?"
He is the same age, 13. I was so impressed how easy it was for him. For me, since I am old fart I still have to think first. I asked him why didnt he use he/she, is that what they wanted to be called? And he said No, I just used it. So I wonder if They/Them is more predominate pronoun in this generation then he/him/she/her and he didnt even realize it. It does make it easier.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:06 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: They/Them
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
Message edited 2/16/2022 12:13:53 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:12 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Posted by nycbuslady
Yes. How old is your son? My daughter is 13 and since about 12, she's been very conscious of people's pronouns. If someone is "gender fluid" in any way, she uses "they/them". She is much more liberal than I am! It confuses me. I sometimes have to think "wait, is that a group of kids? Who is she referring to?"
My DD is also 13, she is the same when it comes to using pronouns. She doesn't bat an eye and will address the kids in school however they request. She's been very open about things like this since she was little, it's all she really knows so it doesn't phase her. I'm glad about that.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:14 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
Same. All makes no sense at all.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:20 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
Message edited 2/16/2022 12:28:18 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:27 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
Are they using names too or just they and them?
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:32 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:34 PM |
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Sash
Peace
Member since 6/08 10312 total posts
Name:
fka LIW Smara
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
I know but that's how it would work. Use their mother instead of her mother. LOL.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:37 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
But if I said "Sam went to the store." and you want to know who also went, how would you ask who they went with, without knowing the gender, since Sam is traditionally used for male and female?
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:41 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
But if I said "Sam went to the store." and you want to know who also went, how would you ask who they went with, without knowing the gender, since Sam is traditionally used for male and female?
Who also went with Sam? Not sure why he/she/them/they would even be added to that conversation.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:42 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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They/Them
Yes. They are really working on using appropriate pronouns at school. I will admit that it still confuses me as I don't and never will think of they/them as a singular person but I respect the person's wishes. My daughter also gets confused sometimes because for the last 10 years she has been taught that they is plural so I just tell her if she is ever confused just use the person's name instead of a pronoun.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:45 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: They/Them
Posted by KarenK122
Yes. They are really working on using appropriate pronouns at school. I will admit that it still confuses me as I don't and never will think of they/them as a singular person but I respect the person's wishes. My daughter also gets confused sometimes because for the last 10 years she has been taught that they is plural so I just tell her if she is ever confused just use the person's name instead of a pronoun.
That's what is. I keep thinking plural!
So if you see someone show up at your house instead of yelling- She's here!
You should say- They are here!
And then I think multiple people are showing up at my house.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:48 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Wonder why kids have so many issues now. You have to be woke and can't just be a boy or girl or straight or gay anymore.
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:48 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
But if I said "Sam went to the store." and you want to know who also went, how would you ask who they went with, without knowing the gender, since Sam is traditionally used for male and female?
Who also went with Sam? Not sure why he/she/them/they would even be added to that conversation.
To keep the same format as above.
"Did Sam go with his/her/their mother?"
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| Posted 2/16/22 12:59 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Once you simply accept the fact that there are some people who wish to go by certain pronouns you will do a lot less eye rolling. The fact is, it comes down to respect for another human being. It's unnecessary to understand why someone chose a particular pronoun nor does a person have to agree or like it BUT being a tolerant person means you keep your opinions to yourself and respect a person's wishes.
Just because someone has decided in their head that there should only be gay, straight, boy and girl doesn't change the reality that there is a far greater spectrum than that.
Message edited 2/16/2022 1:01:44 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:00 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
I’ll answer the grammar part. I know in writing he, she, I, we are considered bad style. It isn’t even about transgender; you shouldn’t be using it in an academic sense. Even ‘they’ is considered to be bad form in academic papers by some; ‘they’ should be nominalized or used in passive (but passive is considered old style now). This actually came up in a meeting a few months ago.
In regular speaking, I have no clue, but I’ve always just said ‘they’ because some names are gender neutral.
Message edited 2/16/2022 1:02:33 PM.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:01 PM |
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MrsA1012
love my little girl !
Member since 9/10 5777 total posts
Name:
Me
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They/Them
Yes, it’s super common amongst teens these days. Major social contagion. I roll my eyes whenever I hear , “ they/ them, personally. So silly.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:04 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11487 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: They/Them
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
But if I said "Sam went to the store." and you want to know who also went, how would you ask who they went with, without knowing the gender, since Sam is traditionally used for male and female?
Who also went with Sam? Not sure why he/she/them/they would even be added to that conversation.
You should use ‘they, them, or their” to keep the structure parallel. That keeps the grammar correct.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:05 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by GoldenRod
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Sash
Posted by NervousNell
I honestly don't pay attention but I don't think so.
I'm trying to think it my head how it woudl sound.
Gianna went to the store with their mom? Instead of "her" mom?
Like that?
That confuses me. Sounds like incorrect grammar
I never noticed it, so I am not sure if this is a new thing since it stood out in a conversation yesterday or if he has been talking like this. LOL. But yes, using they and them instead or he/she. So basically I didn't know whether the kid was "male" or "female".
He was actually complaining and would say "They" are not helping out on this group project and everyone was mad at "them", etc.
So in situations like that- THEY aren't helping out and everyone is mad at THEM- it works.
But in the example I gave, something like Jessica went to the office with their mother....
It sounds off to my grammar police ears.
But if I said "Sam went to the store." and you want to know who also went, how would you ask who they went with, without knowing the gender, since Sam is traditionally used for male and female?
Who also went with Sam? Not sure why he/she/them/they would even be added to that conversation.
To keep the same format as above.
"Did Sam go with his/her/their mother?"
What happened to someone saying, oh no, Sam is a he or she?
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:07 PM |
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Re: They/Them
Posted by Hofstra26
Once you simply accept the fact that there are some people who wish to go by certain pronouns you will do a lot less eye rolling. The fact is, it comes down to respect for another human being. It's unnecessary to understand why someone chose a particular pronoun nor does a person have to agree or like it BUT being a tolerant person means you keep your opinions to yourself and respect a person's wishes.
Just because someone has decided in their head that there should only be gay, straight, boy and girl doesn't change the reality that there is a far greater spectrum than that.
This is why these kids have so many issues. You are born a boy or girl. You like who you like.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:10 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: They/Them
Due to the area my DC is active in...there can be several individuals that are fluid or gender neutral. I do get a little confused by it but I am glad to see their generation embracing things and people that are not the same as them and respecting them instead of making examples of them.
I also know of a few parents that are trans or gender neutral.
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:14 PM |
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nycbuslady
LIF Adult
Member since 9/15 1066 total posts
Name:
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They/Them
I find it weird to use they/them for a person you know. It's different when it's more "anonymous". Like, if you're driving and a car cuts you off. You can't see who's driving, so you say "Man, I can't believe they cut me off!" But, "Sally picked up their backpack" sounds weird and totally grammatically inicorrect!
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| Posted 2/16/22 1:14 PM |
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