A little too DH-friendly

Let me preface this with I LOVE my daycare. I do, they adore Bella, she adores them and they are extremely attentive and teach her so much.

With that let me say this...bella's teachers are a little to nicey-nice with DH. We are young for our daycare, I think we may even be a couple of the youngest parents in Bella's room, no biggie...that's the way things are nowadays, but I feel like they watch us...they always make comments on how great we both are.

The DH stuff started when 23 year old Rosa, her spanish teacher found out (way too happily) that DH was half Columbian (you would have thought she won the freakin' lottery in the days following)

DH came home amused and told me, I made fun of him joking around...then the next day I dropped Bella off and I was peppered with questions about his spanish-ness, how he doesn't look it, and if his family treats me different because I am not and that he was a good dancer (he isn't and she was like, well he said he was)

DH is very involved in Bella's life, 50-50 is how we do everything (I normally drop off and he picks up) he got off early one day and arrived while she was sleeping, they asked if he wanted to come back and he said no, he wanted to hang out with her, they fawned over that and Donna, the other teacher was telling the other teachers as Jay walked a sleeping Bella out the door how greeeeeat it was that he wanted to spend time with her and take her home right then.

But the kicker has been the last few weeks when I have been working more and DH was waiting for his next Union job and working on the side...he was dropping off and picking up to make my life easier...I sent her in with left over chicken cutlets (I always overpack her lunch so there was a ton)
Donna and Rosa ask Jay if he made them (he did, as he does most cooking) and they were like "we knew it, they were SOOO good" Um, OK they were freakin breaded cutlets, with 4C bread crumbs for god's sake...NOT that gourmet people...

SO ANNOYING, I don't know why it bothers me so much.

I walk in today and the head teacher was like, how was your day with Daddy yesterday! Um, we both spent the day with him and she was like oh, um, I spoke to your DH so I thought.......

Am I jealous of my own DH? Even he thinks they are being a little much...it's like they put him on a freakin' pedestal for what he does...

Message edited 5/3/2007 12:16:09 PM.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

That would bother me too, but I have very little self esteem lately.

Maybe they see so few daddies that he seems to go above and beyond?

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Hate when people overly praise men for being a parent, like it's so odd for them to actually be involved in the rearing of their kid.

I'm stuck on how they knew the chicken is so good... Do they normally taste the kids food?

Message edited 5/3/2007 12:21:37 PM.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Ha. If your daycare is anything like ours, they could just be shocked to see a DH being so involved? Lots of dads do the dropoff in my room but they are also mostly older parents. My DH barely knows the code to get in the door (seriously) and they fall all over themselves to help him when he's there (granted he needs help he doesn't do it every day so is clueless). However, I'd be annoyed regardless!!

Re: A little too DH-friendly

I agree that maybe it's a novelty that your DH is as involved and perhaps more involved than other dads?

My DH drops off and picks up Andrew and he says he feels like Norm from Cheers when he walks in -- he says all the kids in the room say 'PAUL!'

Teachers have made comments to me about how nice DH is, etc. but it would annoy me if they went on and on.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Women just cannot help themselves!! I dont know is it because they still think its "cute" when a husband is involved i the daily care of their child, they may be a tad jealous that their own husbands are not...your dh may be cute ...I do know that I travelled overeas with out DD when she was just 5 months old and barely got a glance of an offer of help from any air hostess...three months later my DH travelled with us on the same airline and they were just falling over themselves offernig HIM help.... ...now my hubbie is cute even if I say so myself but COME on Girls....what about helping another sista out once in a while and take your nasty paws and drooly looks away from my husband...

I would be pizzzzzed too but not at your DH but at the silly females in the day care center

Message edited 5/3/2007 12:33:20 PM.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Yes it would bother me a little. However, I'm betting that your daughter is getting special treatment and that would more then make it ok for me.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Re: A little too DH-friendly

I think the flirting thing is over the line. I got a lot of attention when I took DS to Gymboree, since I was the only DH there most of the time. Nobody flirted, though (should I take that as an insult? ). We do get more credit than we deserve most of the time (full-time SAHD definitely do deserve the same credit as SAHMs, though, as long as they are doing the same work.) I think it's OK to compliment DH for being involved with DD, and have conversations, but it sounds like they are getting a little *too* friendly, especially since your DH is a little uncomfortable.
Normally, I would suggest that DH pepper every comment with "my wife"... ("My wife is working today, so I'm dropping off DD." "My wife likes it when I cook dinner.", etc) I do that a lot. However, they see you quite often, so it's not like they think he's single or anything....

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Re: A little too DH-friendly

I"m not a parent but I did work in daycare for quite a numbe of years and that behavior, IMO, is really inappropriate. If I were you or your DH & felt started to feel really uncomfortable, I would speak to the director of the daycare.

ETA: I don't think you're jealous, I just think it's a common courtosey that these women are lacking... it's lack of respect to you.

Message edited 5/3/2007 1:13:26 PM.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

I can't even respond. I'm a very jealous person and would have told off the girls already. Wish I wasn't like that, but I am.

Hang in there. I would tell my DH that it bothers me and maybe he can give a little attitude so they stop. LOL!!!

Re: A little too DH-friendly

see, I thought the food thing was a little weird...but I brushed it off.

these ladies are unbelievably nice and I call every day to check on Bella and they are so sweet...

it really just gets my goat how "wonderful and fabulous" he is for doing the same thing as I do...

I am not uncomfortable per se, just annoyed...if DH really wanted to leave me for Bellas middle aged teacher or the young latina (who is cute :) )
well, than we have more issues than that...and for a usually clueless man that he is to pick up on it, well

Re: A little too DH-friendly

Oh hell yeah I'd be mad. I don't tolerate that kind of stuff very well.

I love it when my DH picks the girls up they get the bottles for him, take the sheets of the crib, etc. THEY don't do that when I pick the girls up. It's very comical to me the attention DH's get for doing what we do everyday....

Re: A little too DH-friendly

I can see it as being annoying too, although I very often get comments that my husband is SOOOOOOOOOO HANDSOME and it doesnt bother me one bit. (even one teacher at school, but she's older, so its a little different I guess)
Most often, they ask IS HE ITALIAN TOO ?? NOOO ?????? REALLY?? I THOUGHT HE was, he's very handsome!"
I get a kick out of it because he's so shy that I tease him about it when it happens.
I guess Id have to "be there" (every situation is different) to realize when they crossed the line.

Re: A little too DH-friendly

I don't think it's a big deal. Like other's have said, they probably don't see too many father's at the daycare. Mother's are primarily responsible these days for picking up the kids, attending school events, etc. I know when my ex husband goes to school for an event for DS, the kids are all over him and the teachers seem a little happier as well.

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I would be annoyed too...

I don't really have much advice other than - don't let them see your annoyance with it, because it might egg them on a little more. I'm sure their infatuation with your DH will fade eventually.

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Re: A little too DH-friendly