A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

Remember last week when I was saying that neither of our moms wants to feed on command? Well, there is another issue that is minor but it has happened several times.

MIL babysits for my SIL's child 2 days a week and on some weekends. She watches my child as needed, usually amounting to once or twice a week. When she comes to my house, she tells me all about SIL's child, everything from what he wore, to what he ate, to what TV shows they watch together, how he sleeps, etc. Yet, she never tells me when he gets sick. I find out from my SIL, sometimes a few days later SIL's son is in daycare 3 days a week and he seems to be picking up a lot of colds, is now getting nebulizer treatments and is getting recurrent ear infections. I guess that my MIL is afraid that I will think that she is carrying illnesses from one baby to another. Yesterday, when we asked why she didn't tell us, she said it was because he was on antibiotics. Still, even if it is totally safe for her to be coming to watch my baby, she tells me all these other details about SIL's baby, so it sure seems that she is very consciously leaving out the info about when he is sick. My MIL knows that my son is a preemie and was in the NICU. I honestly do not know whether I would tell her not to babysit my son if she has been with a sick baby. However, she is not giving me that decision to make. I do not know if I would feel as annoyed if I could somehow reason that is this to respect privacy, but she tells me everything else that happens when she babysits!!! (She has told me that details about his milk protein allergy but I guess she figured that was safe.)

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

I don't think you're wrong in that I do think she's intentionally leaving out information.

I do think you should talk to her about it. Daycare puts up a notice when kids are sick with potentially contagious illnesses (not colds). You should have the same courtesy.

Message edited 1/7/2008 3:52:30 PM.

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

I dont think your wrong. And you are the only one that really knows best about your sons health and what you want him exposed to. The thing is that when you use grandparents for childcare you have to really take the contol back early on so they respect that your the mom!

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

I would be ******. Your child is more susceptible to illness and she could be carrying around germs which may not amount to anything for her...but it could for your DC.

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

See, I thought you would all tell me I am crazy!!

Good point about the daycares letting families know when something contagious is out there!!!! I am delaying putting my DS into daycare until after RSV and cold season. Instead of daycare, I am relying on family right now. Sometimes I think that daycare would be easier b/c there would be less headgames!

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

I think she's very wrong and I would be upset. She needs to alert you of things like that, NOT leave them out.

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

In my family if my parents are with another grandchild who is sick then they have to wash up when they come over and change their shirt. We have done this since he came home from the nicu last march... I dont think you can be careful enough with rsv season here and all.

Re: A MIL vent. Am I wrong?

I guess I am in the minority. I don't think you're "wrong" per se...but I don't think she is doing anything wrong either.

She is a grown lady who probably doesn't think its worth mentioning b/c you'd prob get overly upset...and I totally understand how it is having a baby and the thought of germs....

BUT...she definitely washes her hands and all else before she sees your child. So the germs would in essence be gone by the time she got to your baby. If anything, SHE would get sick from the other baby and not watch yours.

I'm sure she is just feeling like there is no need to get you more worried...I personally think you're looking too much into it..but that is my opinion. I just think of my family..there are 28 grandchildren on one side...yes, 28. My grandmother sometimes bounces from house to house seeing the babies and if we were to worry about the times she cared for someone who was sick, it would be insanity!