A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

Do you spend equal amounts on your parents and on your IL's?

I think because I do the shopping, I end up spending more on my mom than on my IL's...this year though, we don't pay my mom to watch DD 1x/week so I feel more justified in spending more on her, kind of as a thank you


Just curious what ya'll do

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend much more on my parents than the IL's.

My parents are extremely generous with us and especially DS. They buy us gifts for virtually every occasion, and DS gets a lot of special things throughout the year, as well as the holidays.

My IL's on the other hand, simply do not believe in buying gifts for other people. No birthday gifts for kids/grandkids, no holiday presents. They have yet to buy a single item for DS and he is nearly two. They would rather have lots of money in the bank.

So, I get my parents very nice things, and IL's get little trinkets like ornaments or maybe a fruit basket.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

at your IL's not buying grandbaby any gifts

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We try to spend equal amounts

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

we spend significantly more on dh's family... first my fil is a widower so he has no one else but his sons... and my bils spend alot on us...

my own family is too big and i never speak to them really so i do not find it justified to spend the money on people who want nothing to do with my child (i knowi am sounding like a scrooge)

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend the most on my Mom but it is because she needs it the most and she helps me out with the kids and does my laundry

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

Posted by brownie

Do you spend equal amounts on your parents and on your IL's?

I think because I do the shopping, I end up spending more on my mom than on my IL's...this year though, we don't pay my mom to watch DD 1x/week so I feel more justified in spending more on her, kind of as a thank you


Just curious what ya'll do

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

I am in charge of gift buying. I get the grandparents equal gifts. Most of the time they get the same thing in different colors. I will say that both sets of grandparents treat us and our children very well.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

I don't have in-laws. they both passed. I only have a Mom and she always wants something practical like a vacuum cleaner, so I just get her what she wants..

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We only buy gifts for the children in the family.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We get very little for my parents, and they don't buy much for us anymore (though they get a lot for DS). Honestly, it is very liberating--it became such a struggle to think of good gifts the last few years. They really are at a point where they have everything they need and then some. I usually make them a photo book or calendar, something they will enjoy.

My ILs insist on presents--DH takes care of it. So we do spend more on them.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend a TON more on my parents, but that's because my parents are extremely, extremely generous to us. His parents are lucky if they get a card.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

we don't spend a lot on my parents b/c they get mad when we spend money on them. They just want us to spend time with them. We spend more on MIL. However, both my parents and my MIL are extremely extremely generous when it comes to DS. B/c of my MIL I can count the number of times I have bought diapers for DS (and he is 15 months old) on one hand and didn't have to spend that much on formula either.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

we have always spent more on my parents....as my IL's barely spend money on us. Maybe that'll change this year - but i'm not kidding - i've received broken ornaments, things with price tags left on them from his sister (4.95 price tags)...etc.

my parents would bend over BACKWARDS for us - his family - Dave has always been treated like he's not as important as his sister.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

Since I do the shopping, I try (key word being TRY) to be equal! I always end up spending a lil more on my parents BUT I like em so much more

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spent a lot more this year on the ILs but that's only because we set a limit with my family - we did a kind of group secret santa.

Normally we try and spend equally but to be honest we don't pay that much attention, it's more about what they want/need than what we spend.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend equally...Our parents are too good to us!

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend more on my dad then my ILs since my dad so much more generous to us & my DC.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend much more on my parents but it's a different relationship. My parents are constantly helping us out throughout the year (just one example - paying for my private room at Wintrop but the list goes on and on) even though we never ask for it.

Also, my inlaws really don't want much for Christmas - it is honestly impossible to buy for them.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

My parents are divorced and I don't spend a lot on my dad. But I do spend more on my mom then we do for DH's parents. Part of it is my mom is by herself and doesn't have a husband to give her presents. She also does not speak to her siblings so it's mainly just me and my brother that she gets presents from.

My mom also watches our kids for us every single day. So I feel as she deserves more. We do still spend a good amount of his parents but not as much as my mom.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

We spend more on my DH's parents (I do 99% of the shopping)

My DH's parents do so much for us, from watching DS when I was working, to helping at the house , etc. They really are amazing .

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

My in-laws are no longer alive Sorry no guilt, it was the first time I realized that they were BOTH gone this holiday.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?

we end up spending more on my inlaws.

they are always ontop of celebrating our birthdays, and anniversary each year to make it feel special for us. this past year they have been a help with watching ds if we needed to go do something.now they have been picking up things for ds when they go out places. its so cute.

my family is kinda in the we dont need gifts, we dont care about the holidays until the last minute attitude. I still get the gifts but to them it doesnt mean so much.

Re: A personal question about spending money/buying gifts at the holidays?