Abby got bit at daycare

Okay so yesterday I get the call that another child bit my DD at daycare. She was fine and it did not break the skin. They told me that they would not tell me who did it to protect the "biter". At first I was mad but understand why because I really wanted to smack that child.
The thing that upsets me is that they said it was school policy that they only tell the "biters" parents when they have bitten 3x or more. They said it is upsetting to hear that your child bit someone and they do not want to upset the parent if it was a 1 time thing.

Okay what do you guys think? I would want to know if Abby bit another child because I would watch her at home and make sure that I did everything I could to prevent that behavior in the future.

I know kids bite and it was a random thing but I am so mad that the "biters" parent was not made aware of the incident. Am I crazy or is this weird?

On a side note I can not change my chat avatar. I tried a million times and it won't change. Anyone know what I am doing wrong?

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

You are not crazy or weird! I find it strange that they wouldn't tell the biters parents too I always let both sets of parents know when any incident involving their child happens. I actually took a seminar on day care and the law and we are actually legally not allowed to reveal either "biter" or "bitee". So they are right about that. As a parent myself I would want to know if my child bit. Hopefully it was an isolated incident and you never have to get a phone call like that again

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I would definitely want to know if DD was a biter. I'm not sure what my daycare's policy is, but now I'm curious.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

At my daughter's day care, they do not tell you either. Don't worry, by the time they are talking, you'll find out. I tried grilling the teacher once. I was like come on I know it was so and so. Sure enough a few weeks later Delaney said mommy "...." hit Delaney. Of course, I was not happy about the fact that my daughter got hit but I guess it's also part of growing up. I told her the next time someone hit her she should say do not hit me and if they kept doing it then I will tell her to hit her/ him back. At this age, they are still so young, I'm not sure they understand what they are doing.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

Same with my daycare. They DO tell the biters parents though if it is constant. By now, 2 1/2, my son tells me who bit, hit, etc. him!! It is usually his "girlfriend". I think it is out of love-!!!

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I would want to know if my child bit someone not after 3 times I would want to know the first time so I can monitor it and see if she does it at home and if something provokes her to bite. I would also try and let my DD know that biting isn't good.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I also have to sign something when there is an "incident" at her day care. I've yet to be told that Delaney is the instigator but I'm sure it's just a matter of time.

It's pretty funny now because when the little girl comes near her she puts her finger up and says No ......, no touch. I crack up.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I think that is really weird. I agree, I would like to know if my child bit someone. also, they don't want to upset the parent of the child that bit, well they are upsetting the parent of the child that GOT bit. I really don't understand their rationale behind not telling the parents. Does a child have to hit someone 3 times before they tell the parents about that too?

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I believe not telling the "culprit" is daycare policy. Everyone else is right, once your kid talks you hear who hit who, etc.

I have one teacher who tells me every little thing that happes (including saying mean things (ie "I'm going to break that chair"). Another teacher only calls if there is a real injury. I prefer the latter.

As for the biting, I wouldn't think too much about it. It's very common for them to "communicate" that way until they can "use their words".

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

Caiden has been bit soooo many times at daycare! He was actually the first one ever to get bit in the baby room!

When it happens, I get a letter in his pocket stating that he was bit, etc., and the parent of the biter also got a letter.

I was lucky to find out who was biting my son, which wasn't the same kid all the time, because I became VERY close to his teachers and they told me. They are not suppose to tell the parents who did the biting.

Unfortunately, many parents don't even care that they're child bit someone. They may say that's not nice and that's the end of it. But then again it's hard to anything after the fact. You kind of have to catch them in the act.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

Thanks everyone. At least I know I am not overreacting. I understand that things like this will happen but it is upsetting to see the huge bruise in the shape of teeth on her arm.

I actually got a call from the daycare director today and she said that after speaking with me and listening to my thoughts she has decided to change the policy and let the biters parents know every time it happens. She will not make an issue of it the first few times but at least they will know.

I am very happy with that.

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

It is policy that the biters identity is not revealed.... however... most centers send home an incident report to both the child who was bitten, and the biter as well.... Usually the center keeps a signed copy from both parents... I always thought this was an insurance thing... but not sure.... EVERY daycare I have worked for has done this....

As far as the 3x's rule goes.... that usually applies to throwing the kid out... after 3x's usually thats when a meeting is held deciding wether or not to continue the child enrollment.... (however I dont think Ive ever seen them disenroll anyone, unless of course the child was really dangerous)

At this age biting is gonna happen, however if your child keeps getting bit, then maybe I would suggest having someone shadow her for a few days..... Make sure they have good supervision going on in the class.....

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I think that's BS. They should inform the biters parents immediately and EVERY time. I'd talk to the director and contest that "rule"

Re: Abby got bit at daycare

I would insist they tell the parent. The rest of the policy while I hate it, it is standard

Re: Abby got bit at daycare