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Arodisi
"My 3 Sons!"
Member since 3/06 3515 total posts
Name:
KT
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? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
I am sending an RSVP to a wedding that we cannot attend and want to send a gift.
What is the proper etiquette when sending a check??
a)do i date it todays date or the wedding date??
b)do i write it out to mr/mrs or the bride's maiden name??? (we are friends with the groom,but the rsvp card address is the brides home)???
TIA
Message edited 9/12/2008 10:22:32 PM.
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Posted 9/12/08 10:14 PM  |
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TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess
Member since 7/05 4939 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
I would say write it to cash or to the Groom to be (as he is who you are friends with).
Put today's date
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:17 PM |
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bluegreen08
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/07 574 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
i would date it today. while it's nice to address it to mr & mrs whatever, it makes it a lot more complicated to deposit so i would do "mr. & mrs. ____ OR mr. _____" so its easier to deposit
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:23 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
I would date it today and write Mr & Mrs groom's name
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:24 PM |
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TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess
Member since 7/05 4939 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I would date it today and write Mr & Mrs groom's name
I would be hesitant to do this b/c they may not be able to deposit it. When my BIL and SIL were married, they could not deposit any Mr & Mrs checks because she did not have updated ID and their account had not been changed. That was with Washington Mutual (I believe) and 4 yrs ago.
When DH and I were married, the day after our wedding we went to the bank and I was told to sign the Mr & Mrs checks with my new name, even tho I had no id with that name and the acct was not reflecting the new name. That was at Bank of America in 2006
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:38 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by MsKitty1274
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I would date it today and write Mr & Mrs groom's name
I would be hesitant to do this b/c they may not be able to deposit it. When my BIL and SIL were married, they could not deposit any Mr & Mrs checks because she did not have updated ID and their account had not been changed. That was with Washington Mutual (I believe) and 4 yrs ago.
When DH and I were married, the day after our wedding we went to the bank and I was told to sign the Mr & Mrs checks with my new name, even tho I had no id with that name and the acct was not reflecting the new name. That was at Bank of America in 2006
really? we had no problems at all depositing checks like that at WAMU the day after our wedding.
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:42 PM |
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Arodisi
"My 3 Sons!"
Member since 3/06 3515 total posts
Name:
KT
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
so do you think if i write "grooms name OR brides name" that is ok??? this way they wont have a problem depositing it??
i am friends with the groom, but since i am sending the card w/the rsvp to the brides address i dont want to just write his name on the check...
ETA: i was married 3 yrs ago and we deposited all our checks at commerce -- i just had to show them my marriage license since my ID wasnt changed and it was fine. however, im sending the check before the wedding (and they might want to deposit it before) - this is why im so confused...
Message edited 9/12/2008 10:53:58 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/08 10:52 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
I would date the check with todays date and just put the grooms name and congratualtions in the memo.
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| Posted 9/12/08 11:05 PM |
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Reese32
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 3631 total posts
Name:
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
How about sending the RSVP to the bride & a separate wedding card addressed to both of them at the groom's address, with a check inside made out in his name?
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| Posted 9/13/08 7:29 AM |
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EmmaNick
*
Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
Name:
*
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
I would just make it out to cash and stop worrying about it 
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:44 AM |
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vmac
Mommy VMac
Member since 8/07 1860 total posts
Name:
Vanessa
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by MsKitty1274
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
I would date it today and write Mr & Mrs groom's name
I would be hesitant to do this b/c they may not be able to deposit it. When my BIL and SIL were married, they could not deposit any Mr & Mrs checks because she did not have updated ID and their account had not been changed. That was with Washington Mutual (I believe) and 4 yrs ago.
When DH and I were married, the day after our wedding we went to the bank and I was told to sign the Mr & Mrs checks with my new name, even tho I had no id with that name and the acct was not reflecting the new name. That was at Bank of America in 2006
really? we had no problems at all depositing checks like that at WAMU the day after our wedding.
We had no problem with this either, we were told by our bank, Bethpage Federal Credit Union, that I just had to sigh using my maiden and then sign again with my married name. DH signed in his name.
No problems.
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| Posted 9/13/08 9:46 AM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by Summerrluvv
I would just make it out to cash and stop worrying about it
I think if you make it out to cash its the same thing as mailing cash??? That's a bad Idea. Sorry 
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| Posted 9/13/08 10:19 AM |
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bluegreen08
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/07 574 total posts
Name:
a
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
We had checks with every possible combo...
We added DH's name to my Bank of America account, but before we had a chance to do that they told us to have him sign over every check to my maiden name (what was on the account)
so it said "Pay to the order of [my maiden name]" and then his signature, and then I had to sign it to endorse it.
Kind of a pain to do on so many checks but we did it as we opened our envelopes and then gave to my parents to deposit when we were on our honeymoon. The branch they went to wouldn't accept it because they had no evidence of DH's signature on file and even after a fight with the manager wouldn't take it. I was a little annoyed because even a week and a half of missed interest adds up when it's a big amount.
I ended up going back to the original branch which did let me deposit it, but I brought DH's passport with me just in case they wanted some "proof of signature" (he was at work so i couldnt bring him).
In the end it all got deposited but it was way easier to just have somethign like "Mr & Mrs. _____ OR Mr. ________ OR Ms. __________" on the check just in case. in the end I'm sure they will have plenty of checks that say Mr & Mrs so they will have to deal with that either way
Edit: we held on to cant-attend checks addressed to Mr/Mrs and didn't deposit them right away bc we werent sure how to do it. if you want the check to be deposited right away i'd keep that in mind
Message edited 9/13/2008 10:51:15 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/08 10:50 AM |
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JC621
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/08 616 total posts
Name:
JC
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by Arodisi
so do you think if i write "grooms name OR brides name" that is ok??? this way they wont have a problem depositing it??
i am friends with the groom, but since i am sending the card w/the rsvp to the brides address i dont want to just write his name on the check...
ETA: i was married 3 yrs ago and we deposited all our checks at commerce -- i just had to show them my marriage license since my ID wasnt changed and it was fine. however, im sending the check before the wedding (and they might want to deposit it before) - this is why im so confused...
I think it would be easiest for them if you make the check out to either just the bride or just the groom. We were just married this past August and the bank gave us a hard time about cashing the checks that were made out to "mr. and mrs." - we had to wait for our marriage license. You will write the card out to both of them, so don't worry about whose name goes on the check. You could write "congrats bride's name and groom's name" on the memo line if it makes you feel better.
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| Posted 9/13/08 11:24 AM |
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VickiC
Rocking the party
Member since 5/05 4937 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Re: ? about sending gift (check) when not attending a wedding...
Posted by LSP2005
I would date the check with todays date and just put the grooms name and congratualtions in the memo.
Ditto this. Even if we are attending the wedding I only write out the check to one person now and not Mr. & Mrs. XXX. I learned that after we got married how much of a PITA it is.
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| Posted 9/13/08 1:20 PM |
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