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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Janice
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
then so be it
at age 15, the more you can get a kid to talk and confide, the better
I disagree, I see what you are saying, but to let a child get away with sneaky illegal, harmful things simply because you are waiting to see if something more major comes along like sex, then blow your cover is silly.
As an adult you have an obligation to the girl's mother. Let her mother decide what actions to take
um, in your past posts, you have admitted that you would let an underage teenager have sex under your roof if they were in a committed relationship.
With this in mind, you would tell the parent of whoever is dating your son/daughter that this is taking place??
Just want to clarify
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Posted 7/21/05 11:37 AM  |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
then so be it
at age 15, the more you can get a kid to talk and confide, the better
I disagree, I see what you are saying, but to let a child get away with sneaky illegal, harmful things simply because you are waiting to see if something more major comes along like sex, then blow your cover is silly.
As an adult you have an obligation to the girl's mother. Let her mother decide what actions to take
um, in your past posts, you have admitted that you would let an underage teenager have sex under your roof if they were in a committed relationship.
With this in mind, you would tell the parent of whoever is dating your son/daughter that this is taking place??
Just want to clarify
yes, actually that was brought up in the thread as well, by myself actually. the other parents would be aware that their child is in my kid's room unsupervised and if they have a problem with it to let me know and it will be stopped.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:39 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
since don brought it up about my past posts, the thing that I have biggest problem with is secrets being kept. Parents need an open communication line. Teens will sneak and do what they want, but as a parent I think you have to try and be one step ahead.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:41 AM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Janice
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
Posted by CaptainCharisma424
Posted by Janice
what if her mother finds out after the fact that you knew?
then so be it
at age 15, the more you can get a kid to talk and confide, the better
I disagree, I see what you are saying, but to let a child get away with sneaky illegal, harmful things simply because you are waiting to see if something more major comes along like sex, then blow your cover is silly.
As an adult you have an obligation to the girl's mother. Let her mother decide what actions to take
um, in your past posts, you have admitted that you would let an underage teenager have sex under your roof if they were in a committed relationship.
With this in mind, you would tell the parent of whoever is dating your son/daughter that this is taking place??
Just want to clarify
yes, actually that was brought up in the thread as well, by myself actually. the other parents would be aware that their child is in my kid's room unsupervised and if they have a problem with it to let me know and it will be stopped.
and then, they will just find somewhere else to do it
very few parents are going to agree to that
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:49 AM |
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Redhead
You Live, You Learn
Member since 5/05 31871 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Adult advice...
Plus some may consider that parent is endangering the welfare of a minor! Which i think is punishable by law!
Message edited 7/21/2005 11:51:55 AM.
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:51 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
Honesty is the best policy, so I will end of that note...
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| Posted 7/21/05 11:59 AM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Adult advice...
I would tell her that if this guy did her tattoo, without parental consent, that I would report him and get him shut down.
Looking at this like a guidance counselor right now, confidentiality only exists in certain situatinos. If a child tells you something that is about someone else hurting or endangering themselves, or about the student hurting or endangering herself, all bets are off.
Could she potentially be harmed because she may get a tattoo from someone who is willing to do one on a 16 year old with no parental consent? I think so! As others said, if he's willing to do this, who knows how safe his practice is to begin with? Is he using clean, new needles and new ink? Who knows!!!
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| Posted 7/21/05 12:03 PM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign. 
IMO-Don't TELL HER MOM, it would be a betrayal of confidence, which is more important than a tatoo that can be removed. Tell her you will NOT sign for it, but that you will take her to some reputable shops, and talk to some really good tatoo artists to find out as much about the process as possible and the cleanest, best place, and that if she really and truly wants it, that she will still want it when she's 18, and then she can go to the best shop and she won't need anyone to lie for her, and that the tatoo will have all the more meaning because it's something that she can do on her own-like a rite of passage.
Also, another reason tattoos shouldn't be acquired so young is because your not done growing, depending on where she wants it (hips, lower back) that skin could stretch and distort the tattoo-
She should talk to some really good tattoo artists before making any decisions, they will most likely talk her out of it.
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| Posted 7/21/05 12:12 PM |
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jozieb0925
Double Trouble!
Member since 5/05 4358 total posts
Name:
Josie
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Re: Adult advice...
Wouldn't your aunt be upset if she knew you were involved in helping her daughter get a tattoo? Maybe you can explain that to her..
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| Posted 7/21/05 12:18 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Redhead
Posted by Lichi
Posted by Colleen9304
Who is going to legally consent to it? B/c unless the laws have changed, she needs to be 18 to get a tat without the permission of a legal guardian...
She wants me to sign.
Well that you can't do!
ditto
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| Posted 7/21/05 12:30 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by jozieb0925
Wouldn't your aunt be upset if she knew you were involved in helping her daughter get a tattoo? Maybe you can explain that to her..
Her mom knows that she talks to me, and trusts me to guide her through potential mistakes, without having to include her (she would be such a mother, while I'm more of a friend). My aunt knows me, and knows that I wouldn't steer her wrong, so she wouldn't be upset that I knew... unless I took her, or signed a consent for her. This is a tough decision on me. I can't judge the girl for wanting a tattoo, because I have my own, too... however, I wish she would think about it a little longer... and hope that she doesn't have to result to going to a bootleg tattoo guy that would break the law.
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| Posted 7/21/05 2:19 PM |
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LadyMaravilla
Fall Is Here
Member since 5/05 12023 total posts
Name:
Sonia
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Re: Adult advice...
Since, I totally disagree w/ kids getting tattoos at a young age I would just try to just persuade her from doing it. I don't think you should act as her legal guardian because if someone did that for my daughter...I swear I would beat them! Just put yourself in your aunt's shoes. I know she's looking to you for guidance, but truth is she will do whatever she wants weather it's the legal way or illegal way. It's your job to give her the good advice and know that you at least gave her that. If she does go out to get it then you can't blame yourself either. Most times "we" as parents are always the last to know what our kids are up to.
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| Posted 7/21/05 2:26 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
ok, well for ALL of those saying TELL ON HER- hmm do YOU remember when you were 15? WE all DID things we werent suppose to and Im SURE SOME ILLEGAL things too, as well! BUT dont we ALL wish we had SOMEONE we could TRUST and TALK TO WITHOUT the PUNISHMENT!
TODAYS kids just like WE did will do what they want when they want! All we can do is give them the best advice and try to guide them in the right direction by doing everything possibly WITHOUT losing their trust! Especially for a tatoo- Do your homework- go check out the place she is speaking of- on your own- like your a customer- tell her what you see- on the internet get pictures or stories of tattoos gone wrong-
Unless a child is displaying rage/anger/suicide/depression/drugs then DEF without a heartbeat TELL the parents but for a tat or even sex- I wouldnt! Im sure my parents knew I was having sex before marriage and gave me that sappy speech but it was still my decision and they couldnt stop me.
And for the poster that said she would CONSENT children under her roof to have SEX underage I would call the police on you! Yes HONESTY is the best policy but CONSENTING is a different ballgame!
good luck- keep her trust- there are worse things out there, let us know how it turns out!
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| Posted 7/21/05 2:36 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
I just emailed her, and wrote the following:
"Hey,
I've been thinking about you telling me that you want to get a tat in Dec. Honestly, I still think that it's a bad idea for you to do it now. For the following reasons:
1-you're under age
2-you'll need consent to get a tat, and if a person will do it without the consent, they're probably grimy, and you could come out infected, catch a life-long disease, or worse!
3-it costs a lot more to remove, than put it on, and could look a lot worse from removing... not to mention it hurts! Look at these pics:
and I could go on... and on... and on with a list on why not to.
Ultimately, you can't say I'm being a hypocrite because I have tats, because I was 19 when I got my 1st one... not 16. Either way, it's still your decision, but I think that you need more time, in case you change your mind, or gain adulthood where your mom doesn't have a say anymore, and will be able to go to a more professional tat parlor. God forbid you go to a shady spot where they don't know what they're doing, and they eff up your tat, or worse, you get infected from their dirty needles! If you want it so bad now, then you should still want it so bad in 1½ years, right?
I attached two pics, too... it's a brochure about tats/piercings. You're a smart girl, and I know that you will make the right decision for you... I just hope that it agrees with what's right, and that you'll wait to get it done.
Love ya!"
Message edited 7/21/2005 3:23:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/21/05 3:23 PM |
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MommyofG
just the girls
Member since 5/05 9461 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by Lichi
I just emailed her, and wrote the following:
"Hey,
I've been thinking about you telling me that you want to get a tat in Dec. Honestly, I still think that it's a bad idea for you to do it now. For the following reasons:
1-you're under age
2-you'll need consent to get a tat, and if a person will do it without the consent, they're probably grimy, and you could come out infected, catch a life-long disease, or worse!
3-it costs a lot more to remove, than put it on, and could look a lot worse from removing... not to mention it hurts! Look at these pics:
and I could go on... and on... and on with a list on why not to.
Ultimately, you can't say I'm being a hypocrite because I have tats, because I was 19 when I got my 1st one... not 16. Either way, it's still your decision, but I think that you need more time, in case you change your mind, or gain adulthood where your mom doesn't have a say anymore, and will be able to go to a more professional tat parlor. God forbid you go to a shady spot where they don't know what they're doing, and they eff up your tat, or worse, you get infected from their dirty needles! If you want it so bad now, then you should still want it so bad in 1½ years, right?
I attached two pics, too... it's a brochure about tats/piercings. You're a smart girl, and I know that you will make the right decision for you... I just hope that it agrees with what's right, and that you'll wait to get it done.
Love ya!"
what a great letter! She is truly lucky to have you! I was very lucky to have a VERY understanding father that at age 15 got custody of my brother and I and I told him everything- yes I saw the tears and yes I got in big trouble but it was all worth it- BUT there were those time I wish I had someone else I could tell and rely on for their trust and honesty. Telling Dad wasnt always so easy.
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| Posted 7/21/05 7:31 PM |
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Lichi
what what!?
Member since 5/05 4206 total posts
Name:
Lissette
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Re: Adult advice...
Posted by girlygrl33
what a great letter! She is truly lucky to have you! I was very lucky to have a VERY understanding father that at age 15 got custody of my brother and I and I told him everything- yes I saw the tears and yes I got in big trouble but it was all worth it- BUT there were those time I wish I had someone else I could tell and rely on for their trust and honesty. Telling Dad wasnt always so easy.
Awww, thanks. I hope that my email works, but knowing her, she's probably thinking "ehhh, what does she know" and will do it anyway. 
I feel better knowing that I did what I could. 
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| Posted 7/21/05 10:48 PM |
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