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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by liatheart
Quite honestly, I think that you are completly self absorbed. You have a wonderful healthy child, maybe you should spend more time focusing on building her self esteem and less time looking @ yourself, and instead of spending $ on a tummy tuck invest in a good therapist.
Wow, that was ugly.
I don't have time right know to answer this the way it really needs to be answered. But I will think about what I'd like to say and get back to it tomorrow.
As for the rest of the advice. I thank you all. I discussed it all in detail w/ detail my DH and am working on a game plan.
Thanks again for the concern and advice. Have a nice weekend.
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Posted 6/23/07 9:42 AM  |
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Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
SpiceGirl
Dream big
Member since 1/06 2486 total posts
Name:
j
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by liatheart
Quite honestly, I think that you are completly self absorbed. You have a wonderful healthy child, maybe you should spend more time focusing on building her self esteem and less time looking @ yourself, and instead of spending $ on a tummy tuck invest in a good therapist.
I hope you know to IGNORE this kind of ignorance. People who need to post under an alias to spew venom at people who are looking for some geniune advice, are COWARDS.
I'm glad to hear you spoke with you DH and a game plan is underway! Good luck!
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| Posted 6/23/07 7:43 PM |
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sumlynmad
...bonds...
Member since 4/07 2080 total posts
Name:
Summer
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by liatheart
Quite honestly, I think that you are completly self absorbed. You have a wonderful healthy child, maybe you should spend more time focusing on building her self esteem and less time looking @ yourself, and instead of spending $ on a tummy tuck invest in a good therapist.
really? where is HER 5 other posts? and were they this crappy??!!!! EVERY MOTHER is soooooo allowed to be self absorbed!!! we spend 24 hours a day taking care of our children, wondering about them, if they are growing up the best they can, if we are doing a good job....we spend time worrying about out DC and DHs and family, that D@MN IT, if we are down about the bathing suit season and are asking for advice on what to do, we deserve to be. we are MOTHERS!!!
so who is this person, and get her away....avamamma, i fmd u, and i know barb has met u, and i never have, but i saw a pic on ur profile, (if thats u??) and barb is right, u are beautiful, and i swear i am not just saying that. i have a completely dirtorted body image, i always think i am fat (do all women though?) so i understand that no matter WHAT anyone says about u and how pretty u are and how great u look, u wont feel that way....and maybe a therapist CAN change the way u think....i battled an eating disorder for years when i was a late teen (16-early twenties), but that is a whole 'nother story....i never sought a therapist though, i really dont remember how i got over it either....sorry...but again, i fmd u, and i am totally here to help is need be.
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| Posted 6/23/07 10:42 PM |
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CunningOne
***
Member since 5/05 26975 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
I only saw one of liatheart's other posts, and they were uncalled for and nasty. She is no longer a registered user though.
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| Posted 6/23/07 10:50 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
I can understand how tempting plastic surgery can be. But from the 1 pic I see in your profile, you are very pretty, and don't look like you're in need of surgery to "fix" anything.
I can tell you that my sister was overweight all her life, had 2 children and then finally decided to have gastric bypass surgery. She lost over 100 lbs. She had alot of skin "sagging" too from 2 pregnancies plus from being overweight. She worked really hard with diet & exercise with a personal trainer and finally lost most of it. She does still have some, and like you is very conscious of it. She is about a size 4/6 but still sees herself as fat. She obviously has a distorted body image. I've told her several times that she needs to talk to a counselor who can help her retrain the way she thinks about herself. Maybe this could help you?
In any case, feel better, and remember, there are always those "Miracle Suits" to help with our real or perceived problem areas. 
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| Posted 6/23/07 11:58 PM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by liatheart
Quite honestly, I think that you are completly self absorbed. You have a wonderful healthy child, maybe you should spend more time focusing on building her self esteem and less time looking @ yourself, and instead of spending $ on a tummy tuck invest in a good therapist.
Gross! Are you this toxic to everyone you come in contact with?
Pay her no mind and know that you're not alone. There's plenty of US self-absorbed mommies right here with you!
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| Posted 6/24/07 3:22 AM |
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by liatheart
Quite honestly, I think that you are completly self absorbed. You have a wonderful healthy child, maybe you should spend more time focusing on building her self esteem and less time looking @ yourself, and instead of spending $ on a tummy tuck invest in a good therapist.
anyone who has time to create a cscreename to post masty things to otjer people obviously has too much time on their hands. Maybe YOU should spend more time with your child and less time bashing other people who come here for support and advice. 
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| Posted 6/24/07 4:59 AM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
I just wanted to send you some hugs
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| Posted 6/24/07 7:37 AM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by prncss
 I have to say that I think speaking to a therapist might help. If it's affecting you that much and you are seriously considering surgery, a therapist can help you look at it with an objective opinion. Of course your mom is going to tell you not to have the surgery, and of course the plastic surgeon will tell you that surgery is the only way.
How about finding a personal trainer, working with them for 6 months or so and then reevaluate? Hang in there. It's hard. I never had a great body to begin with, so I've lived with all the feelings your having since I'm a teenager. I know just how devastating it can be to look in the mirror and hate what you see.
I agree. Sadly, the plastic surgeon will say what it takes to get your $....it's POSSIBLE that with the right help, exercising will HELP things. Along with a therapist, you might reach a middle ground...learn to accept your new body AND get some of the tone back. My tummy has never been "toned" or a "6-pack" by any stretch and I've always been rather thin...but after my first child, I realized that having a truly flat and firm tummy would be impossible...I did work out HARD to try and got it to look "normal" but just not firm/hard. Good luck. I would hold off on surgery until you've truly tried all other options just so you know that you've tried and given your best effort.
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| Posted 6/24/07 9:20 AM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by BlessedMommy
I just wanted to send you some hugs
Me too
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| Posted 6/24/07 9:38 AM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
Posted by Moehick
Posted by BlessedMommy
I just wanted to send you some hugs
Me too
me three!
ignore ignorance!
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| Posted 6/24/07 10:24 AM |
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avamamma
My Girl
Member since 7/06 3395 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
I just want to thank all of you for your support. I was overwhelmed by all of the posts and fm's that my op created!! All of you are sweet and caring people. I showed all of your responses to my DH and he said that this was a very "mature" board. He said that when he goes on Finance or Sports boards, the responses are ridiculous. Aside from one poster, each and everyone of you made me feel better- but even that, everyone is entitled to their own opinion...the delivery was a little rough, but to each his own....
I am going to join Fitness Incentive in Babylon Village and do Weight Watchers. If anyone goes to that gym, I'd love someone to work out with. Summer was sooo sweet to offer to work out with me, but we live too far away from each other, but hopefully she can be my online Guru...
I am also making an appt with my PCP to have him evaluate my situation..
Again, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You all!!!!
Tara
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| Posted 6/24/07 3:04 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice please, I just cried the whole way home from the mall.
HI AVADADDA...LOL
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| Posted 6/24/07 7:49 PM |
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