After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

We are officially considered "high maintenance" parents.

The director told DH last night that everybody was working on eggshell around him because he complained too much.

Background on last issue:
I gave DS some eggs to see if he was allergic. I informed daycare to watch for allergies. So DH wanted to see if they actually listened. He asked the "evening" lady if she had been told anything about baby EJ. She went to see his chart. DH stopped her and told her not to check it. She said she was not told to watch for allergies. So DH went to see the director/regional manager.

So they go on their high horse saying we are the only ones complaining. DH told the director that we were the only parents to say it "out loud" and that other parents are not speaking up but talking with other parents.

So finally DH told her that it was not about us. It's about our son and his welfare and safety. Why are they turning it into "us"? Why don't they understand that the reason we "complained" was either because 2 kids climbed over my kid in a swing, I saw the teacher assistant take a pacifier from a kid's mouth because it did not belong to him and give it back to the other kid without washing it, hearing the same girl raised her voice to another baby, someone had not been told to watch for allergies to eggs, etc... We do have a problem with the teacher assistant. We truly think she is not qualiifed for that job.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Why not take your child out then and go to another center? I'm sorry.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

What kind of daycare director thinks its acceptable to have kids swap pacifiers without washing? Do they want to be responsible for allergic reactions in a child?

That is absolutely nuts to defend that behavior.

YOU ARE NOT WRONG!

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

I would not like any of the things mentioned. I am finding it so hard to find a provider now. I just want him to be cared for by someone who actually cares about him.

So Sorry you are going through this, I know it's hard.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

I can't say whether or not you are wrong or right, but I do think that once you enter that "covenant" with a daycare provider, you have to give up a little bit of control and remember that in general, they know what they are doing. If you aren't happy with what they are doing, you take your child out and find another provider, end of story.

The manager has an attitude problem if he had the gall to tell your husband this, but my main advice is hand over some trust to them. Give them more credit, they wouldn't hire a teacher to look after children if she wasn't able to do the job.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Posted by bicosi

Why not take your child out then and go to another center? I'm sorry.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

The thing with daycare is, they have a really high rate of attrition, staff only stay for a few months before moving on (I work in recruitment and my manager has come from a daycare background just last year) daycare staff traditionally will change daycare centres for an extra 50cents an hours. Teachers don't stay that long too often.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Those things sound unacceptable to me. I think now I would find another provider, if that's possible.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

You are not wrong to express your concerns - sad that the Director considers it complaining.

For the most part we have had a very good experience with our daycare. The few concerns we have had have always been addressed - including the recent ones I had posted about. I understand what you have described though...I see things that I don't necessarily agree with but I resolved that so long as my son is okay I will work through it - not to say that you have to accept that. It's my coping mechanism.

It's a difficult situation. Finding daycare is not easy - finding a place that meets your expections is even more difficult - then add on the limited number that take children under 18 months and you sometimes find yourself with few options. But that shouldn't mean that you have to stand by if you have a concern. At the end of the day it's a business relationship...you pay a lot of money for the care of your child and there are things that you expect but ultimately we are dealing with people and there has to be some meeting in the middle.

I just had a situation where I was sending in 6 oz bottles of forumula and bringing back an 8oz bottle So then next evening I spoke with the teacher and explained that I think they added clean (meaning unused) formula to his bottle to save it. I apprecate that they didn't want to waste it but I explained that on my end...I am home...I am looking at this bottle and looking at his chart and I can't figure out where the extra formula came from so I have to dump the whole thing. It's a shame because I know their intentions were good but without communicating it resulted in the exact opposite...wanting not to waste turning into wasting more. After explaining I told them to give Lucas the whole bottle - he can make the decision on what he drinks and what he leaves behind...after an hour...throw the rest out. I'm okay with it...that conversation actually went over so well!

I'm starting to understand that we aren't always going to agree with what they do - but only you can decide what you can let slide and what you have to speak up about. I think that all of the things you mentioned should have been addressed. I know if that was my child that received the used pacifier I would have appreciated that you spoke up for him...these kids get sick enough without having help to spread the germs.

If you continue to have a hard time with the teachers and director I think you might need to start looking at a new center. You should feel comfortable and trust the place that you have EJ in.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

While I disagree with the way they handle the things you mentioned, I don't see why you would test for allergies when he'll be in day care. Couldn't you wait for a weekend or some other time? That does sound a little high maintenance to me. But I obviously can see how ignoring any allergies or special circumstances would be inexcusable.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Posted by smdl

Posted by bicosi

Why not take your child out then and go to another center? I'm sorry.

You see, we actually loved that daycare because we loved the teacher of the infant "A" (younger infants!) when we checked them out. She is a wonderful person. She never forgets to remind you to bring diapers (yes, I mention it because it has happened twice in the last month). She set the standard so high that it's hard to match apparently by the other teachers.

So DS was switched to the infant "B" section recently, the older infants and it's not up to par.

This is the consensus with the other parents too. They even considered hiring the teacher of infant A as a private daycare person.

We are giving them a chance to fix thing but I am running thin on my patience and at this point I am considering moving him. Which I hate doing again

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

While I completely understand you being upset and your concerns, I think its so difficult to have a young infant in day care. I mean I have family watching Michael and I'm not at ease with certain things they do...I can only imagine what it'll be like if he was in day care. I think I'd be complaining everyday myself. The truth is that you have to let some things go at times. Maybe she wasn't told about the allergies, but maybe it would have been mentioned to her during meal time or later on in the day...

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

you have every right to express your concern. i'm sorry you're going through this.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Well if you are considered high maintenance parents then things should be perfect...LOL
Walking on eggshells shouldnt be bad...at least they know you will be watching if another BS incident occurs.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

I don't blame you... I'd be complaining too

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

I would def consider changing day cares even if you love the one teacher because I wouldn't trust them after all of this

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

I would be livid if I were you, and not for nothing, I'm glad they feel they need to walk on eggshells, they SHOULD. They SHOULD fear what will happen if they do not take care of a child the way they SHOULD. I think people tend to forget that they're working with children, not property or animals. These are little babies that belong to other people and they should be doing everything in their power to make sure that they are taken care of properly while in their care. I'm a teacher, and I sure as hell make sure that I know about any allergy that ANY child in my school has so that I can do anything I can to prevent something from happening to that child. I have 126 students and I make it my business to know their food allergies, why? Because it actually IS important. There are plenty of times the nurse will inform us that a parent is watching for an allergic reaction, and it is completely within the norm for you to be asking that of the daycare.
I say find a new daycare center where your child's well-being is the most important thing to them.

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

First of all- the Director should've NEVER and I mean never spoke to your husband the way she did. It was wrong on so many levels...

Whether your high maintenance or not- you pay their salaries- its parents like you- who keep the place in business. You pay for a service therefore you expect quality.

You should never feel like you cant speak to the Director at your childcare center... Their are parents at every school who some would consider "high maintenance" (I work there- and Ill admit- IM ONE OF THEM!!!) BUT a good director and staff would still listen and address your concerns. Bottom line your the parent and you are leaving your most prized "possession" you need to feel comfortable at all times...

Now, Ill also say- from the other point of view- It makes me feel a little uncomfortable the way your DH went about "tricking" the daycare workers...

I understand why he did- but to me it was still sneaky and I can kinda see why the director got on the defensive (not that she was right- SHE IS DEF. WRONG- but I can see how/why it happened)

IMO-as a parent, and as someone who has been in the field for the past 7 years- if you are so uncomfortable that you feel you need to "catch" the daycare workers- then its time to find a new center...

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare

Re: After those posts on speaking up at your daycare