Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

My dh went on a golfing weekend in FL with this brothers. We've been talking the whole time and he's been telling me about the trip. Turns out though, that he left something out:

He went to Hooters, got drunk, dressed up in the Hooters outfit and pranced around saying things like "who looks better, me or her?"

I'm mad because (1) I think it's crappy that he chooses to go to Hooters at all. I think it's rude and disrespectful to me (2) even if he went, he didn't have to make himself the center of attention and act like a fool -- I keep thinking that there had to be a lot of flirting going on for that situation to even arise (3) he didn't tell me about it.
Do I have a right to be mad? Is it just my horomones being of wack?

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would be mad that he acted that way- but not that he went to Hooters- I think women overreact about that place.
But that he acted that way, yes- I would be mad. I almost think that he didn't tell you bc he knows he's an idiot. So that part wouldn't make me so mad.
But I am alarmingly easy going.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

For me, the only thing that would p!ss me off is he didn't tell me.

I don't care where DH goes, who he's with, or what he does. But I do expect him to tell me where he goes, who he went with, and what he did.

We have been together long enough to know that honesty is what keeps us going. So there is no reason for DH to ever feel like he can't talk to me about anything.

I guess as I am typing I am also thinking about your DH's behavior. But I really think that could have just been in fun and nothing more. My DH is a comedian and will do practically anything for a laugh, I can't see him going to that length but he's gone pretty far out on a limb for a chuckle.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I really wouldn't care about the fact that he went to Hooters, but maybe that he made such a spectacle of himself.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I wouldn't be mad at all...he got drunk and acted stupid.
No harm, no foul.
Apparently, you were told so it isn't a secret.
And like Preguntas said...I don't know what the big deal is about Hooters..I go there, DH goes there - sometimes we go together and sometimes not.
They have good wings and good drink specials (probably why DH got drunk).

I wouldn't assume there was flirting, I'm betting it was more of a guy thing.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I've actually never been there, but the name and premise disgusts me. I feel like it's wrong for him to go to a place that might as well be called "Big T*ts." Or I guess more acurately, it hurts me that the first time he's away from me for 10 mins he chooses to go there.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

oops, that posted twice, sorry

Message edited 1/28/2008 12:51:32 PM.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

sorry you're upset

Personally I have no problem with Hooters, no problem with my guy getting drunk or making a fool of himself.

Boys will be Boys. Its not like it was a strip club. Its not some dark room with covered windows and no women. Hooters is just a place to eat. Women go in there, FAMILIES go in there. Its not that big of a deal. I'd rather have him drunk there than some sleezy bar, IMHO.

Still, no harm no foul. *shrug* but that's me... today before harmones kick in!! If I'm Harmonial well all bets are off prolly!!!

Hope you feel better

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I'd be annoyed...but its in my personality. Stuff like that makes me bonkers.

How did u find out anyway?

Make sure is coming from a reliable source.

On the flip side, it really might not be worth making a huge deal over.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I went to Hooters last week. It is nothing like a strip bar. Most of the girls don't even have big boobs, they just are "normal" sized with padded bras. There is nothing sexual about that place.

I would be upset IF my husband lied to me but it isn't like he planned some secret trip to a strip bar and spent a ton of $$ on it. Maybe just chalk it up to hormones and talk to him (calmly) to let him know that you don't want to keep secrets.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would not be mad. I don't think Hooters is that bad a place, in fact I love their wings. Dressing up in Hooters costume is actually pretty funny. I would hope one of my DH friends would have a pic so I could tease him about it the rest of his life.

Message edited 1/28/2008 1:06:21 PM.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I wouldn't mind that he went to Hooters, I might be a little annoyed that he was the center of attention like that, but in the end, I think it was all harmless fun...maybe he's just blowing off some steam?

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would just laugh at him and tell him he is an idiot

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I think you're overreacting just a little....

Hooters is SO not the sex-charged place that people (especially those who've never been) make it out to be. That said, I'd be pizzed at DH for getting so drunk he'd dress in lady's clothes (OMG- I'm thinking of Michael from "The Office").

I'm thinking he lied to you because he put on a HOOTERS outfit and pranced around in it, not because he went to Hooters. If I were him I'd be pretty embarrassed and not want anyone to know about that.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would be ****** if he didn't tell me but I wouldn't care if he went to Hooters. Hooters isn't what your thinking at all.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

Message edited 1/28/2008 1:34:47 PM.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

being that his brothers told him mom and sister, and they told you, it seems like it was perfectly innocent.
Don't stresss over it.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I wouldn't care so much if HD went as long as he was honest with me about it. I hate feeling like he is keeping things from me, so that would hurt my feelings...but going to Hooters wouldn't really be a big deal. No lapdances or anything.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

HELL NOOO Girl..I would be so ******, especially if he left that part out..don't they know eventually we 'd find out anyway. I'd definately give him hell. and not to piss you off, but you know damn well that there was alot going on there..So the answer is no, your not over reacting. Im right there with ya.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I really think you are overreacting. DH and I have gone to Hooters, it seriously is just a restaurant. And honestly, he probably was with his brothers and joking around and acted like a moron, it happens.

DH's mom and her girlfriend go to Hooters all of the time, they love the food there and I've seen old ladies and kids in them. It is NOTHING like a strip club.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would not care that he went to Hooters but I would be upset that he didn't tell me. To me when somebody doesn't tell someone than they feel guilty about what they did or they know that the other person would be mad. If he knew that you would get upset than he wouldn't tell you because he doesn't want to hear it from you.

But Hooters itself is not bad. I've gone there many times and it really is not a big deal. Most of the girls there do not have big boobs at all. I'd rather DH go to Hooters with his friends than a strip club any day of the week. I've seen bartenders at regular bars wear a lot less clothing then they do at Hooters.

Re: Am I over reacting? (kind of long)

I would personally be very very ****** but that's just because i'm not a fan of any of those places ... yes I know hooters is one of the safer of them but still its the entire concept. Plus the way he was acting I would have killed DH and for the fact that he didn't tell you about it. See my DH wouldn't have even gone knowing how I would have reacted and how upset I would be but on the slim chance he would wind up there he would have told me outright but that's just how we are together... its such a touchy things