Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

DH and are in battle mode regarding custody of our child should we both die. Its one of those situations that you need to plan for even though it most likely will never happen.

We both feel strongly about leaving the baby to our own parents. We can agree that these are the only two logical choices, but when it comes to choosing between them, we cant!

Ugh....any thoughts?

Message edited 10/25/2007 11:31:42 AM.

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

Well I think you can put stipulations in the will. Such as depending when it happens -how old are your parents, if one set is more financially stable than the other, location and so on. this way it's not so much you choosing it would be the courts abiding by your will contents.

this is something we are considering doing- adding to the will. Dependig on our age of death, our parents age at the time, financial stability, healthy stability and location. Otherwise my sister and brother in law will be my childrens guardian.

Message edited 10/25/2007 11:36:51 AM.

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

That is a tough situation. Maybe you could have them do joint custody? Or base it on who is younger, financially stable ect??

We had that conversation. It was difficult to bring up but I'm glad we did. We decided that if anything happened to us both the baby would be left with my mom. He totally agreed on this with me ONLY because his family lives in Minnesota and she isn't going to know them as well.
We are going to make a will so that our wishes are known. We also are telling people in our family so they are prepared if something did happen to us.

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

We do not feel comfortable leavin dd with our parents as we are not sure how old they will be if god forbid something happens to both of us...my dear sister and BIL will be named dd's guardian

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

That's sticky - we're still in battle mode over godparents
I guess you have to sit down when you're both calm and weigh the pros & cons of each set of parents and hope you can agree. Do your parents live close enough to share the responsilities (but obviously one set would have to be sole guardian to avoid confusion for the baby)?

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

This is a very tough decision.

Both DH & my Parents are in their 80's so we have sole guardianship and all finances to DH's sister. All our family inluding his sister are back in the UK. We just sat and talked it out, it was out of my Brother and his Sister.

It is difficult

Re: Another post about the not so fun stuff...Wills, guardianship etc..

We decided to go with someone our age because you really have to think in the long run. My brother is 20 and still home. But God forbid a few years ago if he had been left to either one of my grandparents....one grandmother is 94 now and the other started showing signs of dementia a few years back. So neither would have really been able to take care of him through his last few years home. Not to mention, both your parents are going to be retired soon, so taking care of a child is a big financial burden on someone who does not work. Something to think about.

My point is you may want to choose someone younger. And this may make your choice a little easier.

We have not asked our choice yet, but we are going to ask someone who lives close to both of our families, who we think will be financially stable, and who will be a good care giver.

Maybe instead of fighting over your parents (which is what we would be doing if we decided to go with parents) you can both agree on a sibling or family friend that is a more logical choice.