Another spinoff to Kids in Church

This talk of discipline techniques got me thinking.

Do you think that techniques are better now, or when we were kids?

For example, now you'll hear parents giving kids choices on what to eat for lunch or dinner.

When I was a kid - my mother cooked, I ate. There was no negotiation. if I didn't like it - don't eat.

Then there was the physical aspect. Today it's all about the "time out", which was the same as being "Sent to your room" when we were kids. But if I really got unruly - I'd get hit. Spanked on the a$$ and even smacked in the face. Nowadays, physical discipline is very much discouraged.

Also, there's alot of rationalization going on.

Mommy, I want this toy

No

Why?

and then the parents have to rationalize and give a reason.

When I was a kid, the answer was "because I said so, and if you keep crying, you get a smack"

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Growing up, we were allowed to write down a list with 5 foods on it that we didn't like. If my mom happened to cook something that was on "our list" that night, we didn't have to eat it, but we had to prepare our own dinner in it's place.
Of course, this was after we were old enough to do so....and after my sister sat in the dining room for 5 hours staring at her meatballs refusing to eat them.

As far as spanking...it happened...not often, but it happened. I learned from it, my brothers - not so much.

It's difficult because all children are individuals and different. What works with one - may not work with another.

You are all stressing me out with all of this kid talk by the way! I have less than 3 months and then I have the reality of having someone to actually discipline!!!

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

This talk of discipline techniques got me thinking.

Do you think that techniques are better now, or when we were kids?

For example, now you'll hear parents giving kids choices on what to eat for lunch or dinner.

When I was a kid - my mother cooked, I ate. There was no negotiation. if I didn't like it - don't eat.

Then there was the physical aspect. Today it's all about the "time out", which was the same as being "Sent to your room" when we were kids. But if I really got unruly - I'd get hit. Spanked on the a$$ and even smacked in the face. Nowadays, physical discipline is very much discouraged.

Also, there's alot of rationalization going on.

Mommy, I want this toy

No

Why?

and then the parents have to rationalize and give a reason.

When I was a kid, the answer was "because I said so, and if you keep crying, you get a smack"

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

i was never hit, but i was yelled at, lectured and sent to my room and had tv privleges taken away from me.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

i guess the question is

"are parents today 'softer' than ours"

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I think they are. It's a different time now. Comming from a more hands on disiplinary background makes it al little harder to parent in a new direction. Often they just get frustrated and lienient.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Message edited 3/20/2007 5:50:49 PM.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I don't know if one is better than another. I think whatever works for your family should be it, and people shouldn't stick their noses in.

I think a lot of the problem now is that other people are quick to get CPS involved, that didn't happen in the past. One of my co-workers at an old job was investigated by CPS after someone at her grocery store reported her for "verbally abusing" her son when she was yelling at him for running out into a parking lot. She was scared and trying to get her point across. The person apparantly wrote down her plate number and reported her that way.

My cousin's boys are a little wild and tend to be bruised up and had both broken bones from play fighting and stuff. One of the nurses at the doctor's office reported them to the doctor and they had to have a discussion with him regarding their discipline theories and what their home life is like. THey were told point blank that if the boys continued to be injured this way they'd be reported to CPS.

I don't think my parents ever worried that CPS would come knocking on their door.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Posted by Jessica

Also , we need to perfect our evil eye looks

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I totally think parents today are softer (although I'm not one of them ). That's why we have so many brats running amuck. No guidance or discipline at home.

My sister is known affectionately by her children as "Mean Mommy" because she rules her house with an iron fist

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Posted by Ambersmom

I totally think parents today are softer (although I'm not one of them ). That's why we have so many brats running amuck. No guidance or discipline at home.

My sister is known affectionately by her children as "Mean Mommy" because she rules her house with an iron fist

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I work very closely with the 5 and 6 year old set, and I will say that kids today get way too many choices, and have too many opinions on things that they should not be concerned with. Kids aren't kids like we were... they are treated more like mini adults, and too many act as if they and their parents are equals, and parents seem to allow this!

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Posted by MrsPowers

Posted by Ambersmom

I totally think parents today are softer (although I'm not one of them ). That's why we have so many brats running amuck. No guidance or discipline at home.

My sister is known affectionately by her children as "Mean Mommy" because she rules her house with an iron fist

I completely agree with you! I am not a parents but as a teacher of high school aged children, I know what you mean. I actually makes me a little nervous about having children because if it gets worse I can only imagine what it will be like when my kids are teenagers. My strict personality will look like the "very mean mom."

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I think it was better when we were kids.

You are right, kids today are given way to many choices. And when they get sent to their rooms they still have, TVs, video games, DVD players, Ipods, cell phones and etc. That is hardly a punishment. How about reading a book? Or finding something else to do.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

This talk of discipline techniques got me thinking.

Do you think that techniques are better now, or when we were kids?

For example, now you'll hear parents giving kids choices on what to eat for lunch or dinner.

When I was a kid - my mother cooked, I ate. There was no negotiation. if I didn't like it - don't eat.

Then there was the physical aspect. Today it's all about the "time out", which was the same as being "Sent to your room" when we were kids. But if I really got unruly - I'd get hit. Spanked on the a$$ and even smacked in the face. Nowadays, physical discipline is very much discouraged.

Also, there's alot of rationalization going on.

Mommy, I want this toy

No

Why?

and then the parents have to rationalize and give a reason.

When I was a kid, the answer was "because I said so, and if you keep crying, you get a smack"

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I was never hit. I got the evil eye and I knew better. I wasn't a bad kid. I followed directions, did my homework and never caused trouble. My mother was the disciplinarian. She yelled plenty but had no need to hit us - wait - she hit the first one of the 4 of us b/c she was most like Mom.

As for having it easy today? Yes, kids have it easy. But things have changed. There are more working mothers and less supervision in the home whether or not by choice. Kids are more sophisticated than they used to be. Parents had to be more creative when I was a kid in terms of keeping kids busy. TV's, computers, text messaging and technologies of today have, in a way, become baby sitters.

I heard some research on the radio that said that parents sometimes over-praise their children so much so, that the children have developed a false sense of self. A kid cannot be "the best" all the time. There are ways to keep self esteem and let someone else excel too. The study was also saying that parents have to let kids fall and lose every once in a while. Children often dont know what to do with themselves when the time of independence comes. Maybe thats why so many people dont move out of their homes when they are well into adulthood - they dont have the coping skills. I think there is a lot of validity to that.

(ugh - tangent again)

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

My grandmother was a brutal woman. She would beat my mother unmercifully. My mother was very strict and was not afraid to use her left hand when she thought it was called for. However, she never rose to my grandmother's level. I was strict with my children. However, I, rarely, laid a hand on them and, even though I had the last word, they were always encouraged to speak their mind, as long as it was done respectfully (something that never happened when I was young). My daughter has a firm hand when it comes to her son. I think we each took something from our mother and applied it in a different manner.

The big problem I see today is that too many parents want to be their childrens'
"friend". They are afraid that if they are too strict their kids won't like them. I, always, told my children that I wasn't here to be their friend. I was here to be their parent and, if they didn't like everthing I did, too bad. I did everything for a reason. Sometimes I shared that reason with them; sometimes not. Parents today need to grow a backbone and not worry about whether or not their kids are going to like them. They need to look down the road 20 years and see if the child they are producing is, one day, going to turn into the adult they need to be to function in a civilized society.

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church

I work with high school students and I definitely feel that as a whole, kids today are much more spoiled, less disciplined, and catered to. Waaay too many parents are worried about being their child's friend. I have had parents flat out tell me on the phone that they wanted to be the cool parent and now know they created a monster. I've heard the expression before and I think it's really good - "If your child tells you they hate you every once in a while, you know you're doing something right"

Re: Another spinoff to Kids in Church