Any advice...bringing home #2

Any advice welcomed, due in 24 days and getting anxious about bring home #2 (DD) with regarded to how #1 (DS - 23 mos) will react. IS there anything I should do prior to going, anything I should do at hospital, anything I should do when coming home with DD?
My DS is very active and physical and also loves attention, I know it is going to be a big adjustment for all of us but want to try to make it as smooth as possible for him, if possible.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

DS is going to be 2 next week but I am due in September. I keep telling him mommy has a baby in her belly and that he is going to be a big brother. I dont think he understands it but hopefully it helps.

Have you thought about the sibling classes they offer at the hospitals? I think I am going to do that with DS as it gets closer.

I think there are also some books you can get to prepare your DS. I have seen them in the past and of course now that I want one I can't find them

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

I can't give BTDT advice but I can pass along the advice that has been given to me. I am being induced with baby #2 this Wednesday.

Advice about the hospital: do not be holding the new baby when DS visits. The visit should be focused on DS #1 and how much you miss and love him. Not to say you don't introduce DS to the new baby but the excitement should be wrapped around DS #1. A new big brother gift is also a suggestion---actually a gift from the new baby to DS #1.

Advice about home: do not ditch DS #1 to run & respond to every whimper the baby makes. If you are doing something with DS #1 and the baby starts to cry in the swing or elsewhere, consult with DS #1. Tell DS that the baby is crying and that you should both go see what's wrong. Really include him.

Those are a couple of tidbits I have received about new week. Good luck!

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

My DD was 3 weeks shy of 2 years old when I had my DS.

When she visited at the hospital, I let her help with feedings (I bottle fed) and go to the nursery to get diapers and formula for her little brother. I bought a present ahead of time for her to give to her baby brother and one for her from her brother.

I had my DH bring her the day we went home from the hospital so we could all come home together. After that, I just made her my little helper and she loved it.

I also made time for the 2 of us, whether it was going to a movie or out to lunch. Once my DS was a few weeks old, I began taking her to Mommy and Me classes again and then out to lunch after so we could have time without her brother.

My DD did great and never resented her brother and he is now 17 months old.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

i'm having my csection on thursday and my ds is almost 23 months. i've been talking about the baby for a while, telling him how he will cry and we have to change him, feed him, kiss him etc.. i also bought a few new gifts for ds#1 and plan on focusing on mainly ds#1 as much as possible while i have helpers. i'm very nervous but hoping for the best.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

Like a PP said when your DS visits in the hospital don't be holding the baby. Make sure you make him feel super special and make a big deal about being a big brother. Have a gift for him from his new sibling. My DD was 18 months when I had I had DS and although she was young I let her help with everything. Even if it's holding a diaper, picking out pj's, throwing something in the garbage, putting a bottle in the sink, holding the bottle, etc.

My DD totally rejected me when I got home. It was the most awful feeling in the world. She wouldn't let me hold her, change her, nothing. BUT she was adjusting and she came around. I did have grandma stay with us for a few days to make sure she got the attention she needed. I also made sure I made a few hours at least once a week for just us. We'd go to the park, or food shopping or just play in the backyard, but it was 100% just about her. The 2 best pieces of advice I can give is 1) keep his routine whatever it is. Less change for him is best. 2) IF he wants the baby's bottle let him have it with breast milk or formula in it. He'll try it once and think it's gross I swear!! She cried for it and I said fine and just gave it to her. She never asked again.

She never disliked her brother though. She was very excited about him for a few days but then it wore off and she was pretty indifferent. Not in a bad way. But let's be honest he was kinda boring to her. Now that DS is starting to crawl and react and interact with her she LOVES him. She's always hugging and kissing hiim and saying she loves him. It's amazing.

Just be patient if his reaction is less than wonderful at first (although it very well may be) it's a huge adjustment for him. He'll always know you love him and will love his new sibling. I will say i have many friends that had no issues and everything is great!!!

Best wishes and no worries

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

My daughter was 3 when I had my son. She wanted nothing to do with him at first. She was mad at me and mad at him because he made mommy be away from her in the hospital. I only paid attention to her in the hospital and made a big fuss over her. When we came home she was still made at me and wanted nothing to do with me for a day or so. She understand that having him changed all the things we used to do. She was also very sick when I had him bordering on pneumonia when I came home and the 2 weeks later had coxsakie. With all that going on it was a lot and took her awhile to come around but she LOVES him now and is a great big sister. (We can now say sister too for the longest time she was Squishy's cowboy )

Good luck

I also did the present thing.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

I also forgot to add that I had a few wrapped gifts in the house for her for when people came with presents for the baby so she wouldn't get jealous - I would pull out something for her to open and play with.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

Thanks for all the advice, it will come in very handy!!!!
Especially the gift from #2 and having extra gifts wrapped up for DS at home in case #2 gets gift from visitor.
Also the not holding #2 when DS visited hospital. Would have never thought of that one!!!
Thanks bunches everyone!!!

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

My pediatrician told me to always tend to #1 if they were both needing my attention. The new baby won't know that you let him cry for a few minutes, but your older child will. I always tried to make myself available to her- so I learned to nurse while sitting on the floor propped with pillows (so DD#1 could sit on my lap too).

Madelyn was 17 months old when I had Eliza. She was pretty annoyed for the first 2 weeks and I felt terrible seeing her so bewildered. Now though- I melt watching Mads do silly dances to get Eliza to laugh. And BTW- Eliza will ONLY laugh for her big sister.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

DS#1 just turned 2 three days before we had DS#2. That morning my DH came to the hospital with breakfast early and DS#1. We all had breakfast and some alone time. We came home as a family and it was so so special for us.

The days to follow were a challenge and there were days that he wanted DH and not me. He would want me to put DS#2 down. I learmed to take the time when DS#2 was sleeping to sit and color, play playdoh, etc. I was exhausted but it made him feel like he still had a place and that EVERYTHING did not change.

Just wanted to add that the gift thing is great. You could also give a gift from the new baby a couple of days after you are home. I actually did this again the other day.

DS#1 was at school and DS#2 is already a year old. We had to go to Walgreen's and I bought two beenie babies. When we got to DS#1 we left the toy on his seat and I told him it was from him brother. He was sooooo happy and thankful. It was really cute.

Message edited 3/29/2009 8:51:07 PM.

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

Re: Any advice...bringing home #2

Always attend to the needs of #1 before the baby. The baby will not remember if he/she had to cry for a few minutes before being fed or changed, but #1 will remember and feel like he is second fiddle to the new baby. Also....play up the "big brother" thing....like he gets to eat big boy food, and let him know that even though the baby needs a lot of attention there are still a ton of things that the baby can't do with you that #1 can do. Like you can sit and color with #1, but the baby can't do that. It will make #1 feel special.