Anyone do the Ferber method?

Anthony is 11 months old and i still have to rock him to sleep or lay on my bed with him then put him in his crib. i know bad. we where doing so good with going to bed i dont know how this happened. so last night i let him cry for 12 minutes (felt like 12 hours) and he went to sleep and slept the entire night. so tonight he should cry for less than 12 minutes right? does anyone think this is cruel and could be scaring him? am i being nuts?

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

When I was a nanny, the boy I took care of had to always be rocked or rubbed to sleep... so one night I decdied to try this ferber method..

The first night he cried for a little bit...but it was the last time it ever happened...

I dont know if it was a freak thing...but for that day on whenever I put him in his crib (wheather it be for bed or nap time) he would just lay there and fall asleep...

I totally intend to do the same with my child once he is born and is older...I dont think its cruel..unless of course the child is crying for a reason... thats jmo though...

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

We are going through the same thing. I feel like I haven't slept in ages. I've tried allowing DS to cry, but I can't last too long. He has started throwing terrible tantrums and throwing himself around in his crib. For the 2 last week s(he is also 11 months now), he has been waking up and won't go back to sleep unless he comes into bed with us. He wakes up from naps crying, and will go back to sleep if we lay back down with him. I know we are creating a monster, but I need some rest too. I don't know what to do.

Anybody else have children throwing tantrums at this age?

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

I just had to "re-introduce" the ferber method. Ava was doing great but then had some sort of relapse where she didn't want to sleep unless rocked.

It got to the point where neither one of us were sleeping.....the straw that broke the camels back was she woke up 11 times in one night and I went in every time. It was a nightmare.

So back to Dr. Ferber - took 3 days but she is back to her old self. Its absolutely horrible to have to hear your child scream bloody murder for an hour (yes, she cried for an hour) but they need the sleep and so do you.

You are NOT being a bad parent - JMO but giving in is worse.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

Message edited 8/24/2005 9:00:35 PM.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

We have tried the ferber method the past few nights and it's getting better and better. I've heard that we're trying when he's too young, but I don't want to get him into the habit of sleeping with DH and I.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

I just tried it and it worked! He cried for 20 min and then I just heard him sucking on his hand. It was hard.... I just sat in the dark in my bedroom while he cried in his.

If this works again it will be great. He falls asleep in no time if he's on your chest or if you are laying with him on a bed. Most of the time when you transfer him from your chest to his bed he wakes up.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

FIVE nights is all it took for us. At about 9 months my son refused to go to sleep because he wanted to continue to play (he just learned how to crawl). The first night he SCREAMED for 55 minutes (not straight, of course we went in every 10-15 mins or so)...and every night less and less until the 5th night I put him down and he just went right off to sleep. It was by far one of the most difficult things I have had to do as a parent but so worth it. I wanted to get into good sleep habits from the beginning and not have any issues with him. Bedtime is bedtime and he needed to know that. And consistency is very important, dont pick him up, only soothe him then leave the room again. Try not to go into too many times either. The first night we went in I think 4-5 times and he was crying so hard even after picking him up he wouldnt stop. We wound up singing him to sleep because an hour was just too long for us. The second night it was only like 40*45 mins but we didnt pick him up.
Good Luck as I KNOW how hard it is but there is a reward at the end.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

I didn't even know I was doing the Ferber method... Well, maybe I'm doing something similiar. I put Jared to sleep (after his bottle he usually falls asleep) and then, sometimes, he wakes up. I go into the room after 10 minutes, give him his pacifier and rub his head for about 5 minutes and then walk out. Afterwards, I watch the monitor to see what he does. Sometimes he falls asleep and other times the pacifier pops out and I go in and pop it back in.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

We went throught this as well. Nick would only go to sleep if I rocked him until he was completely sleeping...then I would put him in his crib and as soon as I laid him in it he would wake up crying - it would take like three rounds of this (almost an hour!) to get him asleep in his crib. Then he would wake up in the middle of the night crying, and would usually not go back to sleep unless it was in bed with me. Finally one night 2 weeks ago I got really frustrated and decided that I would try the CIO method...however I personally do not agree with just leaving the room and letting him cry (not that I have a problem with anyone else doing this - I hear it works). I made DH sit in his room while he cried in his crib so that he did not think we abandoned him - he screamed standing up in his crib shaking the rails for a solid hour - it was so horrible. I told DH to go to him once in a while and lay him back down and try rubbing his back...he just kept popping back up screaming. Eventually he just passed out from exhaustion - we did not hear from him until morning. THe next night I was prepared to do the same thing - I brought him up to his room in the dark - rocked him for 2-3 minutes so that he was drowsy - put him in the crib...he fought it a little - cried a little bit, but I kept a firm hand on him so that he would stay down and rubbed his back - he fell asleep after like 10 minutes. Every night since then has been a breeze. I still rock him in the dark for a couple of minutes (it helps him get tired and makes me feel like I still have some "bonding" time)..then put him in the crib still awake - he just lays there and eventually goes to sleep - not a peep until morning. I cannot believe how easy it was - it was just the 1st night that was super hard.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

My girlfriend used the Ferber method and swears by it.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

last night turned out to be a nightmare. he cried for 10 minutes then the dog barked and woke him up so he screamed for another 15. then he woke up at 2:30 screaming. i tried singing, rubbing his back and finaly put him in bed with us. at 4 i tried to put him back in his crib and he screamed even more. i just dont know what to do. i go back to work next wednesday and i am totaly dreading it. i know once i am working i really wont want to make him cry! i havent worked in almost a year but we cant afford it anymore! living on LI STINKS!!!!!

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

As we speak, I'm trying to ferberize. I feel terrible hearing my baby scream, but he had a rough night last night and would only sleep in my arms, which was not good for me either. he's been crying for five mins or so. I hope he falls asleep

ETA: after 10 mins I heard nothing I went into his room and he was playing with his bumper

I took him out and he got cransky so I put him back in and he screamed bloody murder and then fell asleep!!! Thank God

Message edited 8/27/2005 10:29:17 AM.

Re: Anyone do the Ferber method?

Andrew has taken to screaming and contorting his body in crazy ways when it's bedtime. I used to always rock him to sleep and put him down in his crib and he'd drift off so nicely. I was always nervous to try putting him in his crib awake. Well now I try that and no matter what I do he screams and carries on. But it doesn't last too long, and eventually he drifts off.