anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

This was my first mothers day and it was horrible. it was filled with family drama and fighting. It is partly my fault that it all boiled over on mothers day but its been brewing for a long time. After infertility I was really looking forward to celebrating mothers day. Now my family is in shambles and that will be my memory of this occasion forever. (DH did his best to salvage the day......at least I have that)

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I think sometimes we think days that are meant to be special don't turn out how we imagine them.

Personally, I had a more relaxed Saturday then I did Sunday as my dh had to work so no breakfast in bed, cleaned up the house as usual, did errands as usual. He did cook dinner (even though I did the majority of the preparing lol) and cleaned up.

There is always next year AND as long as you have other days besides Mother's Day the way you see your mind how it should be, then you are doing good

anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

i'm sorry to hear you had such a terrible first mother's day. if this helps at all, my first mother's day was horrible too for the same reasons. family drama. but, i made sure that my husband knew that i didn't want to spend my mother's day like that again. this year, i eliminated the drama and spent most of the day with my husband and son and it was lovely. you will make more happy memories down the road and slowly forget about this first one. hugs!

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I haven't had a mother's day yet that was made special for me by DH.

Really makes me think twice about giving him a nice Father's day each year.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I was disappointed at DH. He did not get me flowers or a card. He did make brunch reservations at the Mandarin Oriental. I think he thought he tried because he took me out to an expensive place.

I would have preferred a nice card, some flowers from the grocery store and breakfast in bed.

I LOVED the cards and gifts my children made at preschool. I read my cards over and over again.

I felt DH did not try. This is the first special occasion that DH did not get me a card in the over 10 years that I have dated/been married to him. I am a big card person. I care much less about gifts.

Message edited 5/13/2013 11:10:19 AM.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

i was waiting for this post.
I made the mistake of not telling dh exactly what i wanted (like i did last year) and I ended up disappointed.
Also would have been nice if he had got up with dd instead of her coming into my room yelling at me to get up.

anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

DH wasn't the problem. I meant to say that the blow out between me and my family was so bad he did his best to make my day special anyway. He bought me a beautiful necklace with LOs birthstone, made breakfast, and watched LO while I went for a run and took a long shower.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Everything was going fine until DH told me he'd be up to bed in 10 minutes, with snack and didn't come up until 2am. We are TTC and he fell asleep. We ended up having a serious talk about his lack of motivation and how NOTHING gets done around the house and all he does is sleep, play xbox, smoke and watch tv. Then I said that maybe now is not the best time to have another baby bc I can't do everything myself. not how i wanted to end my day.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

This was my 4th Mothers Day and it was the first one that we did anything. I had to make all the plans myself, but I had a pretty decent day. We went to brunch and then I took DS to the park!!! I even got more then a card this year!!! There is always family drama at my house and after being so bummed out for the last 3 Mothers Days, I decided that it was up to me to do something about it!

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Got the gift - a mouse pad with kids pictures on it- a week early because DH couldn't wait to give it to me, lol.
The night of mom's day I was up all night with Ds, then DH slept in while I woke up at 6 am with my kids and did what I do evy morning, made coffee, made breakfast , took care of them, cleaned...
We ended up staying home most of the day, then took the kids to a playground , since we were in the area we went to visit MIL to wish her happy mother's day DH got her flowers and I guess he decided to get them for me too, lol. (Would have been nice to get cheap flowers during the day) They ordered pizza...
Then we came home, I put the kids to bed, was up all night with DS again. So that was my first mother's day as a mother of 2.
I'm just a bit disappointed, that's all. I expected to sleep in a bit

Message edited 5/13/2013 12:05:40 PM.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I personally never expect anything to be any different than any other day. And therefore I am never disappointed. I am sorry you had a bad day.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I think we often set our expectations way too high for days like this but it also sounds like your DH did an awesome job. I'm sorry you had family drama, I'm sure the majority of us know how that is! Maybe in the future you shouldn't include them on your day. If you feel you *have* to see them, you could celebrate your Mothers Day on Saturday and do the family obligation on Sunday. At least then you won't feel your day is ruined.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Posted by neener1211

I haven't had a mother's day yet that was made special for me by DH.

Really makes me think twice about giving him a nice Father's day each year.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I feel your disappointment.
it was my 1st mother's day as well... I stayed up late the night before cleaning the house, was up yesterday morning at 5:30am with the baby. dh strolled out of bed at noon (he did work late the night before, but still, I did tell him i'd need his help on mother's day) - and goes to make himself a cup of coffee. not a "happy mother's day", not a "can I help you with anything?" nothing. I hosted mother's day for both of our families with NO help from him, not with the baby or the preparations, and still not a thank you or a happy mother's day.
and, I got so busy and overwhelmed, I totally forgot to get any pics with dd & I at all, much less with the girls of the family, like I had wanted to.
I sat in bed last night so depressed. it's a "first" that i'll never get back.
it sucked.

anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

My first Mother's Day also sucked. I'm in California with a cranky 5mo old, visiting my inlaws. No one, not even my husband thought to get me a gift (I did get cards though) and I spent the day in the car driving from LA to San Diego with my inlaws. Then once we got back to my inlaws, my mother in law was showered with gifts, so it's obvious that no one forgot about Mother's Day, they just forgot about me. I'm not a materialistic person but it just hurts that on my very first Mother's Day, my husbands family, in typical form, completely disregard me, despite the fact that I just traveled across the country so they could visit with their only granddaughter. Next time, I'm staying home...

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Sorry your 1st Mother's Day wasn't great. Hopefully you'll make lots of great memories your next Mother's Day and thereafter.

I had a pretty sucky Mother's Day (it's my 4th). For the 1st time ever in our 10 years married, DH really disappointed me on a special day/holiday. There was no gift but most importantly, he seemed not to put any thought into the day. It didn't feel special in any way. He got me flowers, a card and balloon but that is usual for us. He barely wrote in the card which is atypical. He always has done more to make it special. I was so hurt that we didn't do one thing just the 3 of us, it could have been a walk in a park, anything at all, that showed he cared a little bit. Instead it was just any Sunday as usual, even worse really, since I had to spend it with my MIL who we then had to take with us to my parents house.

I would never do something like that to him for a bday or Father's Day. In fact, I was already planning his Father's Day and started saving up for his gifts (i only work very PT.) Now I don't know what to do that day. I'm just extremely hurt about yesterday

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Yes mine sucked. Woke up and had to ask dh to bring the girls down so I could relax an extra hour Then waited for me to come down to make breakfast
Got into a text fight with sil whom I am very close to, over nonsense
My mom got mad since I didn't make reservations anywhere, however my mom is very hard to please I rarely buy her gifts cause she will just return them or never use them, she just used a coach ag I bought her about 4 years ago She pulled I'm the mom why do I have to make the plans I said yeah I'm a mom too

Dh got me nothing no flowers, card nothing i didnt expect an actual gift.
later in the day he took them in the other room to make me a card

The only thing we did was go to the local restaurant to eat without my mom she no longer wanted to go out

Message edited 5/13/2013 2:42:11 PM.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Posted by Goobster

I personally never expect anything to be any different than any other day. And therefore I am never disappointed. I am sorry you had a bad day.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Sorry about your day.

DD had a fever all weekend so we didn't go out. I fell and hurt my foot. My toe is swollen and purple today. I went to work that night and it was a rough night. But DH let me sleep in on sunday so it was a good day in my mind.

If you family makes drama then I agree with pp, spend mother's day next year with just your immediate family.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

To all the first time moms, this is what I have done to make my Mother's Day special. The Saturday before Mother's Day, dh takes the kids to see his family. I have time to myself. Then, Mother's Day is all mine. We do what I want to, as a family. It's perfect. I have definitely learned that if you don't say exactly what you expect(ie - to sleep in), you will not get it. I learned this my very first Mother's Day. Just remember, one day your kids will have children and families of their own and Mother's Day will no longer be about you as an immediate family again. Soak it up while you can

anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

i don't know if I feel better or worse knowing I was not alone. The weird thing is my family never has drama (there's plenty of it but we are good at sweeping it under the rug). So this was very unexpected - the actually mother's day events I was fine with....well until the fight

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Haha I have a good one. DH sent ds in to say "happy mother's day" to me but I was SLEEPING. I think that was a crappy backhanded way of him to get me up already (it was about 9:15).

Rest of the day was really nice though.

Message edited 5/13/2013 4:54:36 PM.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

Just something to think about. My first Mother's Day was horrible also. A friend of mine pointed out that my true Mother's Day was the day my DS was born and that the May holiday is just another holiday.I thought about it and realized it was true. I wouldn't be a mom if he wasn't born. For the last 5 years, I have spent DS birthday with DS.....and sometimes DH (if he could take the day off) and made it our day. It's just a fun day with no stress. I do the same thing with DD. We just make it our day. No MILs, SILs, sisters, moms...So when Mother's Day comes around and isn't great, I really don't care. I have 2 special mother's days on the days my son and daughter were born.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?

I think it will be really great when your child can make you presents and actually celebrate you. Relying on a dh will always disappoint.

Re: anyone else have a disappointing mothers day?