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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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anyone else "parenting your parents"?
I was hoping to have many more years before I had to do any of this crap. My parents have major medical issues which I try to give advice and guidance about since i'm in the medical field. My parents arent that old but I still feel like i'm the parent, and they feel like I am too and hate it so of course they 'rebel', don't want to admit I may know something more about anything than them.
Which I can understand of course.
I'm just stressed out from the added pressure (which I put on myself). My brother lives in Westchester and I live in the next building from my folks so I have to put out the fires. Right now i'm off from work so I have the time to go to doctor appts with them and help as much as I can. When i'm working I feel like I don't have the energy or focus to help like I should, and then feel guilty later. anyone else going through this?
ugh just a vent
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Posted 5/6/09 12:38 AM  |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
Not in a medical way but my Mom does rely on me for guidance and advice. She had a bit of a nervous breakdown and is mentally very immmature.
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| Posted 5/6/09 8:34 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
I know it is so hard but you are a wonderful person for helping them! 
My parents are okay physically BUT financially. . .
I moved in so they could help ME save for a house but since the wedding I have been paying more attention and they are in some very real financial trouble so almost weekly I have to force them to give me all their bills etc. and see what the heck I can do to help them out. . . its so tiring but they took care of me for so long, and in some ways are STILL helping me out so I feel that I owe it to them.
Just wish my siblings were more involved.
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| Posted 5/6/09 10:34 AM |
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SusiBee
. . . . .
Member since 3/09 8268 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
I joke around that my children are on social security.
I took care of my mom when she was ill, physically and taking over her role as housewife. After she died, I took care of my dad, teaching him how to do banking, basic cooking for himself. He lived with me, so I did all the housework things. When I got married and moved out, I still did these things for him, he just cooked basic things and heated up what I coked for him. He moved in with his lady friend, so that alleviates some of what I do for him, but I still oversee his finances and his medical care. Any problems he comes to me.
I took over the finances of my in-laws when my MIL got sick and couldn't manage anymore. Since she passed, I still do it for my FIL - I actually control his bank accounts and pay all of his bills. He has no clue and can't be trusted. My MIL did everything for him and babied him all their married life. I refuse to baby my FIL, after all he is 75, but I take care of all of his affairs. My darling husband can't 'deal with him'.
Nice, it became my burden.
I am very greatful that my dad is self sufficient.
I'd be out of my mind by now.
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| Posted 5/6/09 11:12 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
I'm not in this position yet, but I do know that eventually, my in-laws will be a burden.
I just wanted to say that I commend all of you for being caretakers for them. I wish you strength.
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| Posted 5/6/09 7:24 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
Posted by SusiBee
I joke around that my children are on social security.
I took care of my mom when she was ill, physically and taking over her role as housewife. After she died, I took care of my dad, teaching him how to do banking, basic cooking for himself. He lived with me, so I did all the housework things. When I got married and moved out, I still did these things for him, he just cooked basic things and heated up what I coked for him. He moved in with his lady friend, so that alleviates some of what I do for him, but I still oversee his finances and his medical care. Any problems he comes to me.
I took over the finances of my in-laws when my MIL got sick and couldn't manage anymore. Since she passed, I still do it for my FIL - I actually control his bank accounts and pay all of his bills. He has no clue and can't be trusted. My MIL did everything for him and babied him all their married life. I refuse to baby my FIL, after all he is 75, but I take care of all of his affairs. My darling husband can't 'deal with him'.
Nice, it became my burden.
I am very greatful that my dad is self sufficient.
I'd be out of my mind by now.
god bless you have a wonderful heart
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| Posted 5/6/09 10:47 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: anyone else "parenting your parents"?
Posted by Tilde
I know it is so hard but you are a wonderful person for helping them!
My parents are okay physically BUT financially. . .
I moved in so they could help ME save for a house but since the wedding I have been paying more attention and they are in some very real financial trouble so almost weekly I have to force them to give me all their bills etc. and see what the heck I can do to help them out. . . its so tiring but they took care of me for so long, and in some ways are STILL helping me out so I feel that I owe it to them.
Just wish my siblings were more involved.
Thanks for that. Yes its very hard when you are more involved than your siblings. It's just my brother and I; but I often hear (especially with patient's families) that when the families are larger sometimes that creates even more problems, ie too many cooks in the kitchen scenario. I'd hate to be communicating with like 4 others or so!
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| Posted 5/6/09 10:50 PM |
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