anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

how does it affect your relationship with DH? do you get to spend time together? do you think it works so that you wont have to pay for day care?
im thinking of maybe working an overnight shift while dh works in the day so i can be home with the kids and we can save money.
also if you do work at night, what do you do? having a hard time thinking of jobs suitable for a woman at night

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

Dh used to work overnight (he was a cop and always had the midnight shift even before we had a child) but we still had to pay for daycare
He needed to sleep in the day on nights he was working.
I don't get home until 6 pm- so if he went to bed at 6 pm he'd only get about 4 hours of sleep (he had to leave at 10 pm for work)
that could never work long term.
bear in mind you need to sleep

He did have rotating days off- so on his days off he would watch DD at home- so we only had to pay for 2-3 days of daycare most weeks.

Message edited 3/3/2013 9:51:05 PM.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

yes...i work 3 days a week and DH works 5 12 hours shifts...we pay for a babysitter one day a week...its rough but we make it work...we have one day a week where we are both off together

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

My dh works 7 to 330 Monday thru Friday and has class Monday and Wednesday nights from 6 to 9. I work tues, thurs, sat 5 to 9 and Sunday 12 to 9. I am a waitress. We don't see each other as much as we would like but it works for us. I have never even considered daycare because even if I did make that kind of money I would still really want one of us watching our kids. It is a personal choice. Maybe it would be different if I worked full time but right now we are doing pretty well with this method. We make the best of the time we share together.

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

DH works evenings (between 4 & 9) so it's not really nights. I get home at 4. I'm still on maternity leave now, so I dont know if it will affect our relationship. We will have my mom or his mom watch the baby if I'm ever running late and he needs to be in at 4, but otherwise it works well. If your DH is working overnight, he will need sleep (same goes for you if you're planning the overnight).

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

I work overnights 3 -12 hour tours in a row. My husband works a mon-fri 730-330. I feel that we only say on day care because I only work 3 days a week. I still need to sleep so i have to send my ds to daycare during the day. I feel that I spend more time with DS this way. But less time with dh. When I am off weekends its great, but I work on an ambulance so when I work weekends we really dont get to spend time together. I dont think its bad. We get along wonderful. Very happy with the time we get to spend together. he is a great help with the things around the house and takes ds to and from day care.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

Would someone else be around at some point so that you would be able to get some sleep?

DH works overnights as well, but not every day Mon-Fri. We still overlap hours though from when I leave for work until he gets home. Day care centers wanted me to guarantee set amount of days even for part time, which I didn't need since his days off rotate, so it would have been a waste of $. On the nights he does work, we are fortunate to have my dad around in the afternoon so that DH can get some sleep. I don't think we could have done it this way, if my dad was not home in the afternoon, otherwise DH wouldn't really get much sleep. Maybe 3 hours.

As far as weekends, if DH is working, he sleeps during the day while I watch DS, and we will spend time together from when he wakes up to when he has to leave for work. But, I was used to this schedule even before DS came along.

As far as overnight positions, all I can think of off the top of my head is law enforcement, emergency services, healthcare, retail (like inventory), hotels

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

Dh works nights and I work days, ft. He is off 1 day during the week. The other 4 days we need childcare bc he needs to sleep. We have family members watch dc so we don't have to pay for childcare.
It is very tough. Neither of us are ever together with dc getting support from each other. We are always alone. There can be some resentment sometimes like who is doing more who is getting more sleep etc. we don't do this schedule for child care purposes but bc dh's job requires him to work nights.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

My DH has his own business (he's a custom kitchen cabinet maker) so we are able to work it out. I work 4 full days, so DH stays home when I work. Then when I get home, we eat dinner together & he goes to his shop to work. He ends up working from about 7pm and stays until midnight to 3am, depending on how busy he is. The 3 days I am home with DS, DH works 12-16 hour days to make up time.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

Personally, and healthwise, I don't see something like this working for the long-term.

Perhaps doing an evening shift and not complete overnight hours could be more manageable.

I also think you'd have a better chance of finding something job-wise if it was an evening shift or even something like 4PM-midnight.

It also may be more affordable for you if you need to leave the kids with a sitter for a couple of hours vs. all day long.

The pay can be ehh but places like group homes or residential treatment programs and such are good places to look for shift work. Often the benefits make up for a lower level of pay.

There's also different levels of client functioning. All the places I worked for, the clients were able to take care of their physical needs.

Usually you just need to have a HS diploma and pass a background check to get this kind of job. If you're interested, FM me and I can recommend some agencies to look into.

Bear in mind though you need a back up plan for childcare if your relief calls out.

This happened to me on a few occasions when I worked in residential care before I had DS and real responsibilities. I would've been fired if I just left.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

I just want to add in-- many hospitals like LIJ and south nassau have great overnight work for unit clerks or patient reps.. Pay is okay and there are benefits. I knew a few people who loved it.
I work some weekdays and DH does a 4-12 NYPD shift. I love it bc on the days that I am off, we spend all am together and he gets home around 12:30am and sleeps until 8:30am to bring DS to school. It works for us but not for all.

Message edited 3/4/2013 2:42:41 PM.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

I have worked overnights for 8 years now and my DH works days. I was full time until my second DS was born and now I work two nights a week. When I was full time with one child I needed to have child care during the day. There would be no way I would be able to come home after an overnight and watch kids all day. Maybe if it was one day a week but not 4 or 5. I know people do it, but I really don't know how they manage with no sleep. As it is I only get about 5 hours of sleep during the day. I always tell people you have no idea what it feels like to work overnights till you do it. It affects your whole body. My first day of overnights I'm up from 7am Wed until 8am Thursday. I'm delirious at that point so in no way could I function if I didn't sleep. Plus, I'm not a fun person to be around when I'm that tired. So your mood definetely can affect your relationship with DH.

The only thing that is good about it is one of you is home during the day. So if you did need to stay up because one of the kids where sick , you could. The best I could say is try it out and see if you could do it. I worked overnights before we had kids so we where used to the schedule. We both have weekends off which helps with our relationship. We see each other alot even when I worked full time. I think you see each more then if I was to work evening shifts. But keep in mind I only worked 4 days a week (10 hour shifts and no weekends. Someone who works 8 hour 5 days a week and weekends may not see their SO as often.

I work in the health care field.

Message edited 3/4/2013 10:31:20 PM.

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

Most of my friends who did this arrangement have had marriage problems. It truly tested the relationship.

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

DP

Message edited 3/5/2013 9:53:15 AM.

anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

I don't have kids yet. but I work 2 jobs around 77 hours a week in total. It's a lot of time away from DH and it has affected our marriage greatly.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?

My DH works 2:15 to 11pm. He works Sun- Thur
I work 7-330pm, and have rotating days off.
We are both in the same profession- police officers.

The opposite tours totally works for us, like previous posts wrote- its not for everyone. I love it as well as my husband. There is no relationship strain for us. Its the best for my family now. Some weeks we only need a babysitter for 2 days- 10 hours in total, some weeks 4 days. Also, we both get ALOT of time off. Pretty good for both parents working.

Message edited 3/5/2013 4:35:03 PM.

Re: anyone work in the day and their DH work at night (or vice versa) so you dont have to pay for day care?