Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

My friends and family know we're TTCing and that we're having issues. Some even know the type of issue but I haven't yet told anyone about starting IUI. Do you discuss with your friends/family?

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

I told my sister at the very beginning when we knew it was going to be a challenge to get pregnant (long before going to the RE). We didn't tell anyone else (family) until we moved to IVF. I did regret telling family (my familiy specifically) because of how they acted about my miscarriage after my first IVF. My 2nd cycle we kept it very quiet and didn't tell anyone until after I was pregnant (except my sister who knew I was cycling again)

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

yes and now I sometimes regret it.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

I told 2 friends the first time and this time I've only told one friend who is going through something similar.

I could not deal with everything IF has to offer if I had to also field questions and comments from family.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

I tell everyone except my boss and co-workers.

Message edited 11/18/2008 4:18:54 PM.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

We haven't told either of our families. I've only told a handful of friends IRL...

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

My immediate family knows and just a handful of close friends. But still even with them I wont go into real specifics.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

I am one of the least private people ever. I don't even know if it's a quality that I like or not about myself. A lot of the people I work with are my friends and it's kind of impossible for me not to tell them. Coming in late, taking 2 days off within a few days of each other...I'd rather people know than speculate. I've never had an issue with them asking too many questions. If I did, I would just flat out tell them I felt uncomfortable.

It's too much mental work for me to keep this stuff a secret. I've found it has made a lot of my relationships closer.

Other than work friends, a lot of my other friends know. It's a major part of my life and part of who I am. I would feel dishonest if I kept it all to myself. Plus, the support helps a lot.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

My mom, sisters, and a few close friends know. No one from DH's side knows, though I would not mind if his immediate family knew.

The longer I have been dealing with IF, the more open I have become. Sometimes I actually wish people knew so they would not ask or make baby comments to me, e.g. "when are you having children" or my own personal favorite - "you two are next!!" - really, do you know something that I don't???

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

I tell practicly anyone who asks! All my immediate family knows on both sides and my close friends. Although I haven't said anything to work people.

I would never be able to deal with this alone. DH is great but I need to share with the women in my life. Even if I get pregnant I would want to share with my fam right away because god forbid I have a MC I would need a ton of support to get through that.

I agree about it being a huge part of my life and sometimes its the only thing I really need to talk about.

Most people are great and it does bring you closer and some don't know what to say and that's ok, I just need to talk about it so I don't go mad!

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

my life is an open book.. everyone who knows me and loves me knows everything.. I needed as many prayers and encouragment and support as I could get.. Its got me through many many rough times..

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Only our parents really know what we are going through and they are trying hard to be supportive of all of our IF issues!

My boss knows a little bit because sometimes I have to come in late or leave early and I wanted her to know something (minimal amount tho).

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Posted by dilb712

my life is an open book.. everyone who knows me and loves me knows everything.. I needed as many prayers and encouragment and support as I could get.. Its got me through many many rough times..

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Ive told everyone that asks... because I got sick and tired of hearing when are you going to have a baby you have been married for yearssss My family has left me alone about it thank goodness. They dont even ask anymore. But people tell me all the time they are praying for me and that helps so much!

I am going to tell my boss this week because I already have 2 appointments booked for the next two weeks and I dont want them to think I am interviewing since I will need to take a longer lunch one day and then come in late another day...

I dont see any reason to hide what I am going through. I carry my emotions on my sleeve it would be extremely hard for me to keep all of this in and not tell anyone what is going on.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

No. My best friend knows; she went through a successful IVF cycle several years ago, so she gets it.

Heck, I use an alias for posting on this board!

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

My friends know all about my non-exitsting periods but no one knows that DH & I are going through testing. I prefer it that people do not know.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Both of our families & friends do know what is going on. We never hesitated about telling them. We found that by telling them, we avoided a lot of the questions of "When" For us, it was one less thing we wanted to truly have to deal with. Thankfully we did tell everyone, bc our families & friends truly stepped up the plate & offered so much support & ears to listen! I don't think we would have made it as far as we have without them knowing

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No one knows.....I barely know what is going on anymore. LOL We just began this journey. When someone gets pregnant in their 40's, my family and friends think they are crazy. WHEN we become pregnant, I think they will all fall off their seats. I too use an alias. LI is a small place.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Yes, very much so. I know some people see it as a private subject, but I don't. I take pride, in some ways, in putting a face to infetility, especially secondary infertility. I take great satisfaction in educating people who otherwise would make some very ignorant, hurtful comments.

And, as others have said, I wear my heart on my sleeve - there's no way I could keep this from my close friends and family, and I've found that it helps to have such a huge network of support while I'm going through all of this.

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We are starting IVF now...My mom, sister and some friends know. That's it. I didn't tell my Dad, after my 3rd m/c in April, he told me he thought that I should stop now, I've had enough heartache. I know he just doesn't want me to be heartbroken or disappointed anymore, he didn't mean it bad. So I'll tell him eventually, but not now.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?

Yes.

Immediate family know everything, Every step of the way. Some friends I talk to about it and some I choose not to. It doesn't bother me that people know at all. They serve as my sounding boards when I need to vent.

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Most of my friends know, but I've gotten to the point where I ask them if they could try to stop asking because its just too painful for me to respond. I get pregnant on a regular basis, just don't stay pregnant. I don't even tell anyone anymore when I'm actually pregnant, just if they happen to ask after the fact I let them know it went south. Sometimes I don't even tell DH right away when I get pregnant because there is really just no point.

Re: Are you open with friends/family about your plans?