At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I am so tired of waiting but the market has limited stuff out there, and what we want isn't coming on. But I am so frustrated, tired of living my life waiting, yet afraid if I buy a house that isn't what we really want that we will regret it (as we do our current home, it was a similar situation when we bought years ago, not much to choose from on the market).

So when do you give up and buy something that isn't really what you want? I can't be here in my home again next year, I feel like I am wasting my life waiting....

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

i am so sorry you feel this way!



i can totally relate. although i have only been homeless (sold my house to live w/ parents to buy in nassau county, closer to our jobs and family) for four weeks, we have seen so much..

open housing, mlsli, listingbook, there is NOTHING that fits our criteria. and we are NOT picky.

we have found a house layout that we like most, and wish we could get one of them, but we won't discount other layouts.

I feel your pain.

everyone keeps telling me, "wait until september / october" there will be others plus they say house prices will drop b/c the amount of buyers out there are limited.

Keep your chin up, we are doing the same.

don't settle. everything for a reason.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I had no interest in the style of my home and it was in terrible cosmetic shape. But it was the right price in the right town so we couldn't pass it up. Eventually I've made it our own through renovations.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

In looking for my next home, there is no way I am going to "settle" for anything less than what we are looking for. Like you said, we did it with the first house, and while we are ok here in the long term, when we are able to start looking again, there are very few things, if any, I will compromise on again. I guess I can say that now though since we are not looking at the current time, and we're still making imrovements here to hang in there in the meantime.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

DH and i "settled" on the layout of the home we chose (we really wanted a colonial or high ranch, we ended up with a ranch) and it's the best decision we made.

the house is perfect for us - room size, lot size, amenities. plus it needs no work done except for painting. and now we are starting to realize the value of living on 1 level with two small children.

so i would say, it depends on what your "requirements" are, that you are considering compromising.

Message edited 9/1/2009 8:22:23 AM.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

We are in the same boat. We actually found two houses we loved, but after putting offers on them found out we just missed both of them

At this point, I do not want to settle because I know there are obviously houses out there that we like, but we are getting anxious from waiting.

My friends and family keep saying "How can you not find anything? This is a buyer's market." True, if I want to gut the house and remodel it.

So, right now we are "patiently" waiting. DH would love to find something in the next two weeks so we could perhaps get the $8k;, but I am not very optimistic.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

i would not settle.....

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I know how you feel!

we just finally closed on Wednesday after basically looking on and off for 2 years, but seriously since January. We put in bid after bid only to be outbid or whatever.

We finally looked in an area that I originally wasn't considering (bc i wanted to be very close to my cousins) and we found our house. it's a split, and while we both always loved splits, we had been mostly looking at Cape's and Ranches.

If you feel you can't wait, just decide what you absolutely cannot compromise on. For us it was a basement and 2 bathrooms...everything else was negotiable.

good luck, trust me, I feel your pain.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

we looked for over a year....when we first started looking our criteria was a lakeview or private view in the backyard (meaning no neighbors behind us), we wanted 4 bedrooms and we wanted a pool....to find all of that in our price range was really really hard and a little bit unrealistic but we figured we had time so we'd wait it out and see if anything came on the market...

in january we found a house that was a lakeview, 4 bedrooms, no pool but there was room to build one....we fell in love with this house....it was a short sale but we put an offer in anyway....we waited until may and the deal ended up falling through b/c there were 2 mortgages on the property and neither lender could come to an agreement on how much money to accept....we were really, really upset but kept looking....

we tried making offers on other properties but we weren't getting anywhere - we kept getting outbid or the seller's wouldn't come down to the market value....

it was at that point - in july - that we realized we had to give up on some things - we knew we weren't going to get something with a pool already built and after really crunching the numbers we realized that we *might* get in over our heads if we got a loan to build a pool ourselves (a pool, patio and screenhouse where we are looking runs 40-50k)....

my husband had been wanting to check out townhomes and condos but i was a little resistant because i wanted to get a home with a pool or have room to build a pool but then i realized i didn't want to spend 40-50k on a pool that would end up increasing our debt - on top of that we knew we wouldn't see much of a return on the pool investment when we sell - so we decided to let the dreams of a pool go *if* we could find something that had a nice community pool....

in the end we are buying something that i NEVER, EVER would have expected us to buy...we found a townhome - it's 4 bedrooms, it's more square footage than any of the other homes we looked at and even though it doesn't have a lake view, it has a preserve view - so we have ALL privacy in the back which is really nice....

it's also in a really beautiful gated community - the community has a really nice community pool area as well as a park for kids, fishing piers, bike and jogging trails, a gym - tons of stuff that i think we'll actually take advantage of....

and best of all the house has so much more space and character than anything else we looked at - so even though we "settled" on some things we gained things that we wouldn't have had in the other houses we were looking at (this house has a beautiful 2 story foyer, access to the patio from the master bedroom, a roomy master bathroom (that needs no major work!), large rooms, tons of closet and attic storage, great community, etc)

we are both in love with the house and the community - we love it more than the house we made the offer on in January - so in the long run we actually ended up with something better even though we "settled" if that makes sense....

so i guess it took us 7 months of active house hunting to settle - but like i said, i don't feel like we are settling at all....we just couldn't get everything that we wanted in our first house in the price range we were looking - so it was either up our price point or change our criteria a bit....it's ironic though b/c i always said i wanted to leave NY b/c i didn't want a townhouse and now we are buying townhouse anyway!

Message edited 9/1/2009 9:39:44 AM.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

i think it's ok to "settle" for a style of house if it has in it what you want. Never in a million years did I think we'd buy a "rambler" (essentially a ranch with a basement). I wanted a cape or a colonial. But our house had what we wanted-- 3 br, 2+ ba, garage and driveway. We'll make it out own and it will be fine.

Just keep in mind what it is at the base level that you want. You'll find what you need.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Posted by Cpt2007

i think it's ok to "settle" for a style of house if it has in it what you want. Never in a million years did I think we'd buy a "rambler" (essentially a ranch with a basement). I wanted a cape or a colonial. But our house had what we wanted-- 3 br, 2+ ba, garage and driveway. We'll make it out own and it will be fine.

Just keep in mind what it is at the base level that you want. You'll find what you need.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Settling is fine sometimes and may be necessary depending upon the disparity between your wish list and what is out there in your price range. The style of house isn't what we really wanted, and I wish our kitchen was larger and more up to date. But we loved our neighborhood, the yard (there is the possibility of expanding the kitchen if we want), and the overall condition of our house was good for the money at the time. So we settled in a sense, it didn't have everything we dreamed of, but it did have all the things that were necessary for us, and that is the part that is key. I've never regretted our decision to settle. We have a child now, and I cannot imagine us crammed in our apartment with all the baby/toddler stuff.

I would review your wish list, and see which items you really have to have and which are nice, but not necessary. And I agree, in the fall some homes go on the market--spring is usually stronger, but the fall is okay too. So if you can wait a few more weeks, you may find more out there. Good luck!

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I would only "settle" on a house if it had the ability to become what I was looking for in the first place.

the first home we put an offer on needed a complete renovation, but the layout was great. we knew that EVENTUALLY we would get it where we wanted it, even if it wasn't right away.

I think the LAST thing I would settle on is location....although I would allow a certain amount of leeway.

I would have a "prime" area, a "doable" area if other things on the wish list were satisfied...and then a "hells to the no area" that I wouldn't even look at/consider no matter what the house was like.

for us, it was distance from our apt more than an issue of schools, since we will private school our kid most likely. and I needed something with two floors. NO RANCHES. at all. I grew up in a 4 story brownstone. one level living was not for me.

there were GORGEOUS homes that I loved that were just too out of the way for us to drive to every weekend. we had to cross those off.

in the end, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the house we chose, and it works for us better than we had feared.

we just fit 60 people in there this weekend, comfortably, for a party...and this was one of our biggest fears about the house...that it wouldn't allow us to have everyone over. that fear was dispelled.

why, can I ask, does it have to be middle of the block? does that mean you won't consider any say 3 houses from any corner?

Message edited 9/1/2009 10:55:22 AM.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

we completely settled on a townhouse...not many people understand why we went that route.

but our townhouse is to this day still appraised at over a third of the purchase price.

it was a steal, a steal that will one day be rented out.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

while we have only been lookin since June, but I do understand your fustration.

I would not settle if I were you. Something right will come on the market for you

they claim that people will drop their prices come oct since there aren't as many buyers (considering most people move in spring and summer for schools) Also, there won't be as many first time home buyers in a huge rush (mid oct) becuase more then likley they won't qualify in time for the nov 30 deadline for the 1st time home buyers credit.

Maybe you can look outside the box too ie: different areas that you really never thought to consider (that's what we are doing, and we can't believe the difference in a house!) also, think about the things you want in a house, and try to figure out if any of these houses can in the future be altered to what you want. I really like the idea of making my home my "own" so for us we look for houses that need some work. In the long run we get what we want 100% and we may even get it at a better price.

Good luck!!

Message edited 9/1/2009 12:55:17 PM.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I hear ya! We've sold our co-op (in contract now) and have been house hunting since Jan/Feb. I think we will have to give up the idea of getting that "completed renovated house that needs no work" (we are dreamers!). We really talked it through and decided we cannot compromise on location b/c of our work schedules/LIRR. So we'll most likely get a house that will need work, but still be on the Port Wash train line and walking distance to the LIRR (our top priorities right now). One nice thing-we'll get to take our time and make it completely the way we want.
It truly is not as much fun as I thought it would be!

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Posted by Goobster

Posted by Cpt2007

i think it's ok to "settle" for a style of house if it has in it what you want. Never in a million years did I think we'd buy a "rambler" (essentially a ranch with a basement). I wanted a cape or a colonial. But our house had what we wanted-- 3 br, 2+ ba, garage and driveway. We'll make it out own and it will be fine.

Just keep in mind what it is at the base level that you want. You'll find what you need.

I guess really location is the key and we haven't found a house with the location that we want. We want a mid block location in a few specific areas so I guess that's why we haven't seen much. I won't and can't settle on location, I did it with my current home and it's my biggest biggest regret.

We are open to work, gutting, etc so it really boils down to location, which is why I am so frustrated.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

i would never settle!!!

that said we did have "Prioritized List" and did sacrifice some of the lower items, for example i wanted central air, so we bought a house that it is easily installed in and we are going to install it next year....

so depending on the items, some things your can change and fix and other you can not...

so my advice is to keep an open mind, see the potential in everything and if what you want is not even a workable option....then say no its not right for me and move on.....

but if its doable the consider it

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I would gladly settle if it was in the area/location I wanted.

DH and I want to live in a specific neighborhood. It is where we currently live and own a condo.

Homes in this area are very expensive, since it is important for me to stay in this area, I would settle on the type of house we bought.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

Knowing a bit about your situation I wouldn't settle, especially on a second purchase.

Honestly, you are in a good situation, you don't have a child to put in school at this point and are ready as soon as the right thing pops up. I would look around a lot (even at unsuitable properties) just to continue to solidify my choice of location and learn as much about the area as possible.

Good luck, it will happen.

Message edited 9/1/2009 9:09:20 PM.

Re: At what point do you decide to "settle" for a house that isn't what you REALLY want?

I think it depends what you are settling on...

The location- NEVER. Never settle on this.

The house- maybe. It depends what you don't LOVE about it. If it has a floor plan that you don't LOVE, then maybe not. Things that you can change and add on to, are something that I would consider.

I know how hard this is. DH and I were looking for a couple of months and it was extremely frustrating. But you WILL find THE house!