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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I know when other people post this question, i always answer that they should take the baby with them, but now that i'm in the situation- i guess i just need to hear the reassurance. Or, not-assurance (poor english lol) of why its not a good idea.
She was my best friend in HS, we drifted apart, but i wanted to go pay my respect to her family. The thing is that its in Brooklyn, so ill be seeing my family as well, and my brother never gets to see DD b/c of his work schedule. So eventhough i could prob have MIL watch DD here, i wanted to bring her with me. Should I? (DD is 5 months, if that makes a difference)
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Posted 1/26/10 11:16 PM  |
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jlk51496
Mom of 3 - YIKES! =)
Member since 10/09 6758 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
is your baby one who can fall asleep and stay asleep in the infant carrier for an hour..
I brought my DD when she was real young once bec she fell asleep and stayed asleep in her infant carrier the whole mass...It was a friend's family member...I stayed in the last row just in case she woke up ....but I wouldnt to a close family funeral bec I would be in the first few rows....If the baby is going to be up and poss making noise and /or crying I wouldnt want that!
If the wake was a close family I might, but I would look for a babysitter and only bring if last resort!!
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| Posted 1/26/10 11:23 PM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
you should bring her. Everyone loves babies, and if she can bring a smile to someone's face at a sad time, why not.
I'm sorry for your loss.
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| Posted 1/26/10 11:49 PM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
it would just be the wake, not the mass (i have a bad habit of referring to wakes as funerals).
DD can sleep through anything/anywhere. If i brought her, i'd most likely keep her out in the main area, not bring her into the room and my family would be there if we wanted to switch off or needed to bring her outside (if she did fuss at all).
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| Posted 1/26/10 11:52 PM |
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jlk51496
Mom of 3 - YIKES! =)
Member since 10/09 6758 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
yeah I feel like the mood is a little lighter at wakes than funerals!(hey I'm Irish!!) Go for it!
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| Posted 1/27/10 12:09 AM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I brought my ds to a wake when he was around 9 months old. No one seemed to mind and it was either bring him or not go.
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| Posted 1/27/10 12:24 AM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Posted by spa118
you should bring her. Everyone loves babies, and if she can bring a smile to someone's face at a sad time, why not.
I'm sorry for your loss.
ITA
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| Posted 1/27/10 5:29 AM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I would, I brought mine to a wake at 5 months also; They're so little they'll just hang out quietly in the infant carrier, just have a bottle ready in case of fussiness. A toddler would be trickier, it's much harder once they're out of that infant carrier stage.
I'm sorry about your friend 
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| Posted 1/27/10 7:13 AM |
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WNA01
my 2 boys
Member since 10/08 4240 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
im sorry for your loss.
ill be the oddball here and say no i wouldnt take ds to a funeral unless its a very close family member and even then depending how old ds is i would have to think about it.
no reason for it just the way i feel. as silly as it sounds i dont want him around death.
in the end its how you feel - if ur ok with it then bring ur baby there. no one ever minds seeing a bay at funerals
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| Posted 1/27/10 7:18 AM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Anytime I've ever seen babies or toddles at a wake, everyone (especially the family of the deceased) is so happy to see them because they lighten the mood a little. But I've only ever been to services for an elderly person whose passed away, which has a different feeling than someone who passes away before their time.
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| Posted 1/27/10 7:37 AM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I chose "other." I think it depends on your child. I took my DS to see Avitar but I knew that he would be good and not cry during it.
I do not think there is anything wrong with bringing a baby to a wake though
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| Posted 1/27/10 8:35 AM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
You could def bring her! I think babies totally help to lighten the mood!
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| Posted 1/27/10 8:38 AM |
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Michelle1123
Baby #5 on the way!
Member since 9/05 7919 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Posted by nicknmb
You could def bring her! I think babies totally help to lighten the mood!
I agree 100%
There is always another room to go if he/she starts acting up!
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| Posted 1/27/10 8:43 AM |
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Violet
content
Member since 7/06 1860 total posts
Name:
Mama :)
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
personally I wouldn't. But I am lucky that I haven't had to attend many funerals/wakes so far in life.
I am sorry for your loss 
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| Posted 1/27/10 8:44 AM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I didn't bring DS when he was 7 months old to DH's aunt's wake.
I hate funeral homes and that chemical smell. You don't know what sort of toxins they are breathing in and that scared me.
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| Posted 1/27/10 9:00 AM |
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neenie
Member since 5/05 22351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Posted by MrsList
But I've only ever been to services for an elderly person whose passed away, which has a different feeling than someone who passes away before their time.
I think this is why i'm more hesitant.
Though, when my 36 yr old cousin passed away last year, my other cousin brought her 7 month old son, and i really feel like it made the whole thing so much more bearable. I just dont want to be disrespectful. 
Thank you for all of the responses! 
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| Posted 1/27/10 9:51 AM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I think it depends on the family. In my family, funerals are about mourning - I know the American custom they are more about celebrating life. . . My grandma passed at 88 after a while in the hospital and my parents sat in the front at her wake and did not speak above a whisper. All of the children stay home because it can be uncomfortable to the mourners that they would have to hide their emotion in front of a child.
I am just offering up another side - I totally understand that this is not the norm here. I am very sorry for your loss
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| Posted 1/27/10 9:55 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Posted by neenie
it would just be the wake, not the mass (i have a bad habit of referring to wakes as funerals).
DD can sleep through anything/anywhere. If i brought her, i'd most likely keep her out in the main area, not bring her into the room and my family would be there if we wanted to switch off or needed to bring her outside (if she did fuss at all).
If you're going to do this, I think it's fine to bring her.
Personally, I wouldnt' bring my new baby to a wake for someone my own age - even if it was a close family member/friend- Looking at it from the other side, I just feel like it would be a slap in the face to that poor girl's other friends/family (NOT that this would be your intention AT ALL)
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:00 AM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
DD was 9 months old at her first wake (my cousin), and 21 months at her second (my nephew). I didn't bring her to either funeral (it was raining cats & dogs at one, and she was in daycare when the second one happened). She brought a TON of joy to my aunt and my brother when they were grieving.
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:03 AM |
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nancygrace
I'm 2!
Member since 9/05 6616 total posts
Name:
Live*Love*Laugh
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
DD was 3 months and i too her..it brought everyone happiness at such a sad time (to the wake) but not the funeral
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:08 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
Posted by neenie
DD can sleep through anything/anywhere. If i brought her, i'd most likely keep her out in the main area, not bring her into the room and my family would be there if we wanted to switch off or needed to bring her outside (if she did fuss at all).
If this is the case, then bring her.
My thought was that if you wanted to spend time with your friend, having the baby with you might divide your attention. But if you have people to take turns with her, then I would bring her. She's a good baby. 
My nephew was only a few weeks old when my mom died. It was actually great having him there, because it took some of the focus off the constant talk about her illness.
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:09 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
we brought DS to my Grandmother's wakes (all 4 sessions). He didn't go to the funeral or mass. Honestly, my Nana loved my DS and would have wanted him there. Plus, it helped make light of the situation. In fact the priest during the readings said "one life ends, a new one begins and pointed to my DS". I will never forget that moment.
Message edited 1/27/2010 10:47:03 AM.
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:27 AM |
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Stacey1403
Where it all began....
Member since 5/05 24065 total posts
Name:
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I would bring her. You said she was your BF in HS so I would think her family would be comforted by both of you being there. I had Jaidy at both days/nights of the wake for my MIL. It was fine and people took turns holding her and she brought happiness to my DH/FIL/SIL's when they spent time with her.
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:42 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Babies and funerals (wakes)?
I would just be afraid because it's so quiet at wakes that my DS would make a lot of noise
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| Posted 1/27/10 10:50 AM |
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