Baby Shower- to go or not to go

So I usually go to everything. Every baby shower, I'm there. Its been getting harder to go to them especially with a year of IF treatments under my belt including 2 IVFS. I am in the process of doing a FET. I'm just very sad and frustrated.

Anyways, my cousin who is 23 is having a baby shower for her second child. She just got married a few months ago. Its next weekend and I still haven't decided if I am going. I would like to go for her mother, who is my first cousin and I am close with, but IDK if I can deal. Nobody who will be there including my mother knows we have issues. I bought a gift and can send it with my sister if I don't go.

Would you go or not? I really need to make a decision and let them know. There was no rsvp date but they may just assume I'm going. Uhh this sucks- I wish I wanted to go.

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

Don't go, I wouldn't. It's not even the first baby.

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

It's family so I would go. You are keeping your IF issues private so a no show is just going to look weird and possibly rude. If you are close to your cousin, you should go.

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

I think it's okay not to go. Since you don't feel like dealing with it, you don't need the extra stress while you are in the process of doing a FET. I have been in your shoes many times. There were couple of times where I had previously rsvp'd that I would go but the day of the shower, I realized I wasn't feeling great while stimming and told them I had a migraine and didn't go and I didn't feel guilty about canceling. GL with your FET!

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

If you are questioning it, don't go. It's OK not to go. Especially if your transfer is Thursday, take the weekend to rest.

Re: Baby Shower- to go or not to go

I wouldn't go, only because it's hard enough as it is for you. I think I would suck it if it was her first, but second IDK. She's 23 so the kids aren't really that far apart in age, where it would be like her current baby shower would be like a first shower but that just my opinion. Sorry if it's confusing.

Re: Baby Shower- to go or not to go

I don't go anymore. It just got too hard after awhile, and I don't think my presence there was really so essential when she had 40 other women gushing over presents she already knew she was getting. I always send a gift and a heartfelt card. At a certain point I had to let go of the social pressure and protect myself. The last one I went to, I really freaked out.

For you. it's up to you to gauge what's too much and what's not. But if you feel like you can't, that's okay. Sorry you have to face this decision at all

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

I probably wouldn't go either but then again since nobody in your family knows your struggles they may be offended. I would be if you didn't come to mine and I didn't know about your struggles. I would though completely understand if I knew what you were going through. You don't need the extra stress and to be upset espec since you need to be in a good mindset.

You may at some point want to tell your first cousin and your mom. It helps to get it out sometimes and not to bear the burden yourself all the time.

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

Thanks for the opinions ladies. I still haven't made up my mind. I have an acupuncture appointment that morning so maybe that would help with the stress. So the shower is on Sunday and my transfer is on Tuesday or Wednesday. Its day by day with me. Today I feel like I could totally go but on Friday I was a mess. I get that they might be offended bc I am family but it is a second shower. Her son is 3 and she is now preg with a daughter. I guess I am also bitter about it bc she really shouldn't be having a second child when she can't even take care of her first one. Her mom has had custody. I have the gift so I'll just be rude and rsvp late or when they ask me. There is no rsvo date. Thanks again.

Re: Baby Shower- to go or not to go

See how you feel that day you can always play sick. I always think i can manage these things and regret it afterwards. Personally I'm done with all baby events.

Baby Shower- to go or not to go

Why should you do anything you don't feel comfortable doing? It's fine no one in your family knows what's going on,it's your life and you have to deal with how you feel. If you feel you don't want to deal with the whole situation, stay home or do something for yourself that day. You need to take care of you and one day when you are ready you can tell them and everyone will understand.

Re: Baby Shower- to go or not to go