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mommysboy
my beautiful baby is here :-)
Member since 9/05 1136 total posts
Name:
amanda
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baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I had my baby shower yesturday was totally suprised I thought it was next month for sure.I had a lot of fun. It was nice just being with the girls and getting to see my brothers wife we never get to hang out or talk anymore. I felt bad my mom got me soo much stuff and this is my second baby. I was a little ticked off I have to say only my family bought off my registry. and my mom got me the dresser/hutch changing table and my grandma got me the bedding set. 2 things i didnt register for because they wanted to get it which was nice. so in total only 9 items were bought off the registry. my dh aunt who is the godmother (on his dads side)bought the basinet but everyone on his moms side didnt buy anything off of it and not even anything I would need. they bought a child rocking chair with her name on it that she cant use til shes like 3 they bought a matching coat rack that will be in the closet till shes older because it is such a danger and even when my friend went to lift it my sil said oh its not sturdy becareful well how do you think its going in the babies room then.These are things that should be given to her for like her 2 or 3rd bday not at a baby shower.I didnt get any bottle or boppy pillow or any other neccesities from them.so now my family feels obligated to get me the rest of the stuff that is on the registry for christmas which is totallly not fair.plus my sil and my my mil went in on the baby present and got really like nothing and even my bestfriend who is 23 goes to college works part time and doesnt have much money got me more then them 2 put together. Im not saying they needed to spend like 500 dollars like my mom did but atleast if your gonna spend like 50 together then get me something i can use or need.
sorry for the long vent I try not to but I was totally irritated even dh wants to call her and ask her what she was thinking when she picked out these presents
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Posted 10/22/06 11:40 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I'm sorry you didn't get the things you need. People probably figured that you have a lot of the neccesities from your first baby.
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| Posted 10/22/06 11:47 AM |
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mommysboy
my beautiful baby is here :-)
Member since 9/05 1136 total posts
Name:
amanda
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by nferrandi
I'm sorry you didn't get the things you need. People probably figured that you have a lot of the neccesities from your first baby.
i understand that but i registerd for only what i needed i only have 30 items on my registry and 9 were bought from my family. so it was only the neccesities that were left and bottles are more useful for a baby then a childs rocking chair I have to say
edited for spelling
Message edited 10/22/2006 11:52:19 AM.
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| Posted 10/22/06 11:51 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
First of all congrats on your shower
I have to be honest here, I think you need to be grateful for what you do have for a few reasons...
First, baby showers are traditionally not given to those who already have a child. I've never known anyone to personally have one for their second child and if I got an invite (unless it was an "oops/late in life baby" many years after the couple thought they were done having children) I'd be a bit by it.
Second, I know it's a pain but people are not obligated to get you anything, nevermind, anything off of your registry. Yes, registries have come back with the younger generation but I still have older family members that feel that they are tacky. My aunt is always very generous with gifts, she offered me money to pay for my wedding dress and gave one of the largest gifts at my wedding. She did not buy off my registry for my shower. She just does not do them. Did I need everything on my registery and will I for these twins? Yes, but people don't have to follow it.
DH and I will be having twins in the spring, I do not, nor would I ever expect that the people in my life would fully outfit my children. We make a good living and are the last of my friends and family to have children, but even if we didn't, it is ultimately our obligation to do so. I am happy for anything I receive because God knows I need a lot times TWO. We are buying the cribs, my glider is second hand (I paid $35. for it) and I am accepting any hand-me-downs anyone is willing to offer me. (Most of my maternity clothes are from friends) The rest of the nursery furniture are the dressers from DH's old IKEA set. The babies don't know the difference.
Please be thankful that your mom took the trouble to throw you a shower and many family and friends were there to share your day with you.
Many soon-to-be first time moms aren't as lucky.
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| Posted 10/22/06 12:20 PM |
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yankinmanc
Happy Days!
Member since 8/05 18208 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I didn't have a baby shower and we had to buy everything for ourselves...people gave us the odd gift here and there, but we had to buy everything. Just be glad you got something at all and that everyone got to get together for your impending baby!!!
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| Posted 10/22/06 12:24 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Maybe it's because you already have a child? Showers aren't usually the norm for the second child. I say be grateful for what people got you!
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| Posted 10/22/06 12:39 PM |
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Spring Baby06
My two loves
Member since 5/05 3612 total posts
Name:
Jillian
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
First of all congrats on your shower
I have to be honest here, I think you need to be grateful.
First, baby showers are traditionally not given to those who already have a child. I've never known anyone to personally have one for their second child and if I got an invite (unless it was an "oops/late in life baby" many years after the couple thought they were done having children) I'd be a bit by it.
Please be thankful that your mom took the trouble to throw you a shower and many family and friends were there to share your day with you.
Many soon-to-be first time moms aren't as lucky.
I have to say I completely agree with the above.
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| Posted 10/22/06 12:42 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Although very new in my pregnancy, I totally agree.
I have seen my friends get "9" baby blankets, useless gifts or not of the taste of the mother.
While we always need to be grateful, who needs 9 blankets when some of the registry items (cheap items too) were not being bought.
In doubts, I am a big fan of gift cards.
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| Posted 10/22/06 1:00 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by beachgirl13
Maybe it's because you already have a child? Showers aren't usually the norm for the second child. I say be grateful for what people got you!
Very nice of your family to throw a shower for you. I have to say, I agree with the above.
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| Posted 10/22/06 1:56 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I think the point you were trying to make were the gifts were kinda senseless...you didnt throw yourself the shower, so I wouldnt feel bad about having one or grateful .They wanted to throw you it....sounds like they are a little out of it to buy such gifts. I dont know if I would be upset , I would just think it was weird and useless....LOL
P.s i have been to a trillion second, even 3rd baby showers. To me it seems the norm this day to have a baby shower for almost each baby! Especially if you have one gender and the next PG is another one.
Message edited 10/22/2006 2:21:58 PM.
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| Posted 10/22/06 2:20 PM |
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Teri
my girls!
Member since 2/06 1491 total posts
Name:
Teri
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by lvdolphins
Posted by beachgirl13
Maybe it's because you already have a child? Showers aren't usually the norm for the second child. I say be grateful for what people got you!
Very nice of your family to throw a shower for you. I have to say, I agree with the above.
me too. I am sure I will not be having another shower for baby #2 - any gifts I receive we will greatly appreciate.
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| Posted 10/22/06 2:23 PM |
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mommysboy
my beautiful baby is here :-)
Member since 9/05 1136 total posts
Name:
amanda
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by dm24angel
I think the point you were trying to make were the gifts were kinda senseless...you didnt throw yourself the shower, so I wouldnt feel bad about having one or grateful .They wanted to throw you it....sounds like they are a little out of it to buy such gifts. I dont know if I would be upset , I would just think it was weird and useless....LOL
P.s i have been to a trillion second, even 3rd baby showers. To me it seems the norm this day to have a baby shower for almost each baby! Especially if you have one gender and the next PG is another one.
thank you this was the pooint I was trying to make I didnt mean that I was greedy or not thankful for what I got I just didnt understand the use of a rocking chair for an infant.
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| Posted 10/22/06 4:22 PM |
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SoinLove
Making big changes
Member since 5/05 16541 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
This is exactly what happened to me. I never had a shower with Christopher, so my mother threw me a shower for Kaylee. I registered only for things that I needed and only people from my family bought things off the registry. I ended up with a lot of stuff from people on DH's side that while I appreciated, weren't things I really needed, so I know exactly how you're feeling.
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| Posted 10/22/06 7:14 PM |
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mushsgrl
LIF Infant
Member since 12/05 121 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Let me start off by saying, she didnt even want a 2nd shower, all she wanted was a nice lunch with her close family. She found out the sex of the baby and it is different than her first, so She only registered for the things she NEEDS. Like she said there were only about 30 items on there and her MIL could've bought more age appropriate things or even called to find out what they needed.
P.S. we dont feel obligated to buy you anything, we do it because we love you!
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| Posted 10/23/06 7:03 PM |
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mommysboy
my beautiful baby is here :-)
Member since 9/05 1136 total posts
Name:
amanda
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by mushsgrl
Let me start off by saying, she didnt even want a 2nd shower, all she wanted was a nice lunch with her close family. She found out the sex of the baby and it is different than her first, so She only registered for the things she NEEDS. Like she said there were only about 30 items on there and her MIL could've bought more age appropriate things or even called to find out what they needed.
P.S. we dont feel obligated to buy you anything, we do it because we love you!
Thank you for writing that steph that is the nicest thing anyone could write. and I love you too. I am lucky to have a good family and my brother is lucky to have you as a wife.
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| Posted 10/23/06 7:15 PM |
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snuggleupagus
I'm a rolling machine.
Member since 9/06 2064 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by smdl
Although very new in my pregnancy, I totally agree.
I have seen my friends get "9" baby blankets, useless gifts or not of the taste of the mother.
While we always need to be grateful, who needs 9 blankets when some of the registry items (cheap items too) were not being bought.
In doubts, I am a big fan of gift cards.
I agree. I do hope my friends throw me a shower with this baby as even though it's my second, it's been 6 years and I have NOTHING from the first one left. NOTHING. Well, I have a few stained outfits that I saved for sentimental reasons...but honestly, this baby has NOTHING unless it gets bought! Not even a highchair hidden in the garage....2 years ago, I cleaned out my house and got rid of all that stuff b/c I didn't PLAN on having another baby for MANY years to come...had I known it would be 2-3 years later, I might have kept that stuff...hindsight is 20/20. I feel like a first time mom again...I also didn't see the OP being selfish/ungrateful. I was put off that my daughter received a horse for her first xmas [she was 7 months old]...you know, the ones that you sit on and jump to make it "gallop"....she didn't use this MONSTER sized item for 3 years...I actually made the gift giver keep it at their house b/c I had no where to put something my child couldn't even pretend to use! [family] There's nothing wrong with wishing you'd received bottles you need instead of a bonnet the child will wear ONCE at Easter.
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| Posted 10/23/06 9:17 PM |
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maybebaby
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 6870 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh here...but i was upset by your post. No one is obligated to buy you gifts and that is what a gift is...a GIFT.
I didn't even get to have a shower with because i went into preterm labor and could not travel anywhere...my mom brought some of the gifts to me, and i was just grateful that my baby was healthy and all was ok.
I know you probably don't mean to sound like it came across, but please count your blessings and remember how many people do care and love you!! Its not all about the presents, its the thought
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| Posted 10/24/06 8:54 AM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
I often don't buy gifts from registries, whether they are wedding or baby showers. To me a gift is about giving something that the giver also feels is meaningful. That is just me.
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| Posted 10/24/06 9:42 AM |
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mushsgrl
LIF Infant
Member since 12/05 121 total posts
Name:
S
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Posted by maybebaby
I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be harsh here...but i was upset by your post. No one is obligated to buy you gifts and that is what a gift is...a GIFT.
I didn't even get to have a shower with because i went into preterm labor and could not travel anywhere...my mom brought some of the gifts to me, and i was just grateful that my baby was healthy and all was ok.
I know you probably don't mean to sound like it came across, but please count your blessings and remember how many people do care and love you!! Its not all about the presents, its the thought
I think her whole point of the vent was that his family did not put to much thought into it. They didnt think that what they got might be a little to old for a baby and they didnt think about what their grandchild/neice would NEED when she was born.
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| Posted 10/24/06 1:53 PM |
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puppylove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 10/05 561 total posts
Name:
Summer
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Re: baby shower yesturday vent sorry long
Yes, people should always be grateful for ANYTHING they receive, but I think she is trying to say she is not ungrateful, just that some of the items she received were not useful, like a child rocking chair and coat rack, which the baby won't use for years. She probably wanted and needed other things rather than decorative gifts.
Just because you had one shower, doesn't mean you still have everything for the next baby. Big things like highchairs, and strollers don't need replacing, but little things like bottles, pacifiers, bibs, and socks do. 2nd time around mommies need help too!
Message edited 10/24/2006 8:42:13 PM.
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| Posted 10/24/06 5:48 PM |
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